To be chased is by far more powerful.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Sep 2016, 9:41 am

Commander wrote:
Is it sad that when I first read the title my first thought was of two opposing armies, though I suppose you could relate it to that in some ways metaphorically. I find way too many things relatable to war 8O


"Awaiting orders, Commander".



kraftiekortie
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15 Sep 2016, 9:47 am

I like chasing ladies on the beach, then catching them, then having us lie on the beach blanket together.

I like a lady's "demure" giggles LOL



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Sep 2016, 9:53 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I like chasing ladies on the beach, then catching them, then having us lie on the beach blanket together.

I like a lady's "demure" giggles LOL



Jesus old man! you and your erotic fantasies....

I am talking about metaphorical chasing, in a sense of trying to approach someone, trying to strike conversation with someone, texting someone, showing interest...etc

Not literally running after women on the beach like some sex maniac in some pervert 70s B movie.

Please, let's not go off topic.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 15 Sep 2016, 9:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

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15 Sep 2016, 9:57 am

Well to be fair that would be the hunt or more in these terms the chaser. Seems to be that the chaser always has the advantage of choosing who to engage and where to engage them while the chasee just has to last longer than the chaser's pursuit. Still a lot simpler than having to lodger the camp whenever the chaser comes over the hill with twenty thousand Zulu warriors :o



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Sep 2016, 10:12 am

Commander wrote:
Well to be fair that would be the hunt or more in these terms the chaser. Seems to be that the chaser always has the advantage of choosing who to engage and where to engage them while the chasee just has to last longer than the chaser's pursuit. Still a lot simpler than having to lodger the camp whenever the chaser comes over the hill with twenty thousand Zulu warriors :o


This is entirely different.



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15 Sep 2016, 10:44 am

I've heard from plenty of guys that they enjoy being the one who asks someone out...and suppose I cannot speak for every female but I've never thought it should be guys have to ask out girls and never the other way around. Though I know on okcupid whenever I sent the first message I got no response. Can't say I have ever really been 'chased' by anyone usually when guys I like have expressed interest I jump on it not play games and act like I'm not really interested and hope they chase after. I've never really understood that game.

Closest thing to being chased I've experienced wasn't enjoyable at all...gave a guy my number to meet him and get to know each other at a later time, it was at a bus stop so we didn't get much time to talk..certainly not enough time for me to commit to a relationship with him. Then he just started non-stop aggresively texting, demanding to know why I didn't text back as quick as he was texting me, repeating how he misses me and trying to get me to agree I was already his girlfriend. When I repeated I wanted to get to know him better first the texts only got worse and even more frequent...so I texted back I decided not to meet him and that I did not want anything more to do with him. I mean his behavior there demonstrated he'd be much worse IRL if he didn't get his way immeaditly.


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DataB4
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15 Sep 2016, 10:57 am

I'm rarely either the chaser or chasee in any meaningful sense. But the way I see it, it's ultimately about the outcome. I think that rejecting people is a real downer and I hate doing it. It's also a real downer if I really really like someone and get rejected. So the more of those experiences you have, the more you feel lousy about your position in it all.

On the other hand, I asked a guy out, I initiated at my own pace, and he reciprocated and asked me to do things. So therefore, I enjoyed being the chaser, because there was no Chase.

If a guy asked me out and I didn't feel conflicted about it, then I would enjoy being the chasee. Otherwise, it sucks until both people get on the same page and the situation resolves itself somehow. I don't like the uncertainty, but then, of course I would say that because I have generalized anxiety disorder.



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Sep 2016, 11:09 am

To reject doesn't hurt as 1/10th as being rejected.

Be real, people.



Hopper
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15 Sep 2016, 11:48 am

This is interesting.

I don't think I've been either. Any relationship I've got into has been one of mutually indicated interest from the start. I have been asked, once a relationship was established, why I was playing hard to get. I wasn't, but thanks to a mix of obliviousness, passivity and low self-esteem I may have made it feel like I was delibrately not responding to signals, as opposed to not seeing them or taking them as such.

Frankly, if I had to 'chase', I wouldn't bother. I wouldn't think anyone who'd play such games would be worth the candle. It would be a turn off. But then, as I understand it, there's people out there who enjoy the chase, the 'conquest', whose ego would be wounded if it was too easy and they didn't get to 'win'.

I mean, I've had phone and internet dating messages ignored or conversations let drop, but then I've done the same. I don't count that sort of thing. Similarly, I've ghosted people as relationships flailed and died, but I'm not counting that either.


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15 Sep 2016, 12:12 pm

I can only speak about what I know which is hetero situations. Mostly with male chasers and the women being chased.

In polite societies the person being chased is in control/more powerful. They choose yay or nay. Of course you must be lucky enough to have something that attracts the chasers, that is looks, personality, perhaps money/status. But if you lack these things you usually don't have chasers and therefore no special control. This is in the courtship phase btw. Once married the control is back up in the air depending upon personalities and cultural norms.

In more agressive society, some of this still exists but more risks are involved. A larger portion of the chasers do not accept 'no'. What control/power that exists is mainly in the earliest stage. Later on the male often assumes power by physical means.



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15 Sep 2016, 12:36 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
...Not literally running after women on the beach like some sex maniac in some pervert 70s B movie...


Hey don't knock it until you tried it.

But watch who you call 'Old Man'. Some of us have had long, eventful and successful lives, that are still going. You never see us posting threads bemoaning lack of sex and blaming whatever. Thats because we have it whenever we want. :P Actually you don't see us posting threads bemoaning much of anything. We're doing alright. We're here to hang with our kind and think we might be of use once in a while sharing hard learned knowledge.

You can say what you like about me. I don't care. But do not mess with Kraftiekortie. He's one of the trully good eggs here. If you do, I may have to put on the cammys again and join some bunch fighting ISIS... just so I can stop by Lebanon and punch you in the gonads. And plus, well I have a friend in the area. Drop dead gorgeous.... Was I young and single again and didn't know my current wife I'd be tempted to convert to Islam for that one. :lol: Hey, God is God.



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Sep 2016, 12:43 pm

TomS wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
...Not literally running after women on the beach like some sex maniac in some pervert 70s B movie...


Hey don't knock it until you tried it.

But watch who you call 'Old Man'. Some of us have had long, eventful and successful lives, that are still going. You never see us posting threads bemoaning lack of sex and blaming whatever. Thats because we have it whenever we want. :P Actually you don't see us posting threads bemoaning much of anything. We're doing alright. We're here to hang with our kind and think we might be of use once in a while sharing hard learned knowledge.

You can say what you like about me. I don't care. But do not mess with Kraftiekortie. He's one of the trully good eggs here. If you do, I may have to put on the cammys again and join some bunch fighting ISIS... just so I can stop by Lebanon and punch you in the gonads. And plus, well I have a friend in the area. Drop dead gorgeous.... Was I young and single again and didn't know my current wife I'd be tempted to convert to Islam for that one. :lol: Hey, God is God.



If you two Misters weren't so famous here for your lust toward women I would have thought you're lovers. :twisted:



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15 Sep 2016, 1:59 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I've heard from plenty of guys that they enjoy being the one who asks someone out...and suppose I cannot speak for every female but I've never thought it should be guys have to ask out girls and never the other way around. Though I know on okcupid whenever I sent the first message I got no response. Can't say I have ever really been 'chased' by anyone usually when guys I like have expressed interest I jump on it not play games and act like I'm not really interested and hope they chase after. I've never really understood that game.

Closest thing to being chased I've experienced wasn't enjoyable at all...gave a guy my number to meet him and get to know each other at a later time, it was at a bus stop so we didn't get much time to talk..certainly not enough time for me to commit to a relationship with him. Then he just started non-stop aggresively texting, demanding to know why I didn't text back as quick as he was texting me, repeating how he misses me and trying to get me to agree I was already his girlfriend. When I repeated I wanted to get to know him better first the texts only got worse and even more frequent...so I texted back I decided not to meet him and that I did not want anything more to do with him. I mean his behavior there demonstrated he'd be much worse IRL if he didn't get his way immeaditly.


I'm with you. I don't do games - games are for kids. What's that one saying? Crap or get off the pot? Same situation here - show interest or quit wasting my time. (Wait, does that make me the pot then?) :mrgreen: Crap.


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15 Sep 2016, 2:05 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

If you two Misters weren't so famous here for your lust toward women I would have thought you're lovers. :twisted:


If you weren't so famous for whining about not getting sex I'd have thought you were asexual. :twisted:



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15 Sep 2016, 2:13 pm

That was funny.

OK! Break it up! Everyone back to your corners for a breather.


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15 Sep 2016, 2:17 pm

Sadie Hawkins Day is cool!