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auntblabby
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03 Oct 2016, 5:21 am

boredom is my best friend <3 don't speak ill of him, he's a good guy, he's always been good to me.

The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Oct 2016, 5:27 am

It could be from the Assburger, I imagine it stinks badly.

auntblabby
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03 Oct 2016, 5:28 am

my assburger is from the garden and smells garden-fresh most of the time.

The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Oct 2016, 5:39 am

hurtloam wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

Move on. Find someone who actually like you.

Isn't it possible that the things he says annoy 99.99% of women?

So the solution for such guys wouldn't be just moving on, they need to fix something, no?

Well, yes. But I thought it might be too harsh to start off with that.

Well, I might be little harsh too....

Honestly, the thread doesn't help because it's too vague, we don't know if your irritation was justifiable and the guy guy was really universally plain annoying..... we don't know, we need more details, specific examples.

We don't know if this was minuscule flaw or big flaw from him, we don't know the size of the flaw - we don't even know if it's a flaw or simply the way he talks.

What also possible: if this is a repetitive pattern for you, and you get irritated every time over minuscule flaws/things every time, then perhaps this might be a flaw in your character on how you perceive people in general (ie. perfectionism, we all have flaws) and not in the guys who are talking to you.

Generally speaking, if one is not physically attracted to the other person, he/she would be way less forgiving over little/trivial things just to rule them out.

hurtloam
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03 Oct 2016, 5:50 am

Jacoby wrote:

No offense but it seems really petty to reject someone because you dislike someone's 'turns of phrase', would you like to be held to the same standard? Maybe you can explain this better and tell us what this person said specifically since I am having trouble understanding. If minor annoyances make you undateable then we might all end up alone here!

Actually that's a good point, I'm being too vague. I've been trying to think of an example of someone on TV that is too annoying for me to want to spend time with:

This guy was like Michael Scott from The Office.

Aziz Ansari is also some one else I can't tolerate.

hurtloam
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03 Oct 2016, 6:05 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

Move on. Find someone who actually like you.

Isn't it possible that the things he says annoy 99.99% of women?

So the solution for such guys wouldn't be just moving on, they need to fix something, no?

Well, yes. But I thought it might be too harsh to start off with that.

My point is "niceness" isn't the problem.

I'm not that fussy. I've liked all types of men. It's just this Michael Scott type that annoys me. The person who says idiotic things with tremendous gravity.

The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Oct 2016, 6:12 am

Fair enough.

Thread in brief: Guys, don't be like Michael Scott.

Sabreclaw
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03 Oct 2016, 6:44 am

Give us an example of a "he would throw a little clichéd quote into what he said to make a point".

hurtloam
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03 Oct 2016, 6:52 am

Sabreclaw wrote:

Give us an example of a "he would throw a little clichéd quote into what he said to make a point".

This was 2 months ago, I can't remember exactly.

It wasn't so much what the cliché was it was the gravity he gave to it, as though he was letting us in on something insightful that we'd never heard before, yet we had all heard it 100 times.

He just seemed arrogant. He probably didn't mean to be, but his gravitas about mundane things was annoying. Like he thought he had great things to teach us. I'm sure he genuinely thought he was helping.

I have a female acquaintances like that and she just irritates the life out of me.

The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Oct 2016, 6:58 am

Michael is replying:

Boxman108
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03 Oct 2016, 7:45 am

"Find someone who actually likes you"? You have any idea how insulting that is? As if guys just go around picking out women who hate them just to annoy them. You'd think the only people I pursue have shown at least some interest in me but I guess not. If you were in my shoes, ignored or just plain invisible except to those who want to manipulate and use you, I'm sure it would be a lot more difficult for you to guess who is honestly interested and who isn't.

It is never my habits that drive people away. Often they don't know me outside of work or offline. It is only ever an issue when I try to open up to them about anything. This is after helping them with all their problems. The most I ever get from them is "you need help" if not "that sucks oh well" or "you're clingy". Extremely hypocritical. And girls wonder why the guys they get with never show emotion.

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Soulsparrer
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03 Oct 2016, 8:19 am

hurtloam wrote:

I can't help shaking my head when this idea of being too nice to get a girl comes up. It's not that women see a guy and think oh hes too nice I'm going to reject him.

It's the actual unappealing things that he says or does that put her off.

I met someone recently and my friend's mum nudged me and said, I was talking to him and he's nice, suggesting he might be suitable for me.

But his mannerisms really annoyed me. His turns of phrase really annoyed me. He would throw a little clichéd quote into what he said to make a point. I found him subtly negative and self righteousness.

Those things irritated me.

It doesn't matter how nice you are. If the girl you're interested in is irritated by how you express yourself then that's the problem. It's a pure fluke that you're nice too.

Move on. Find someone who actually like you.

Just to clarify the point:

Being "too nice" doesn't mean just having basic morals and manners, when it's used in a negative sense it basically refers to being overly clingy, needy or insecure; when a guy is insecure with himself and he becomes desperate for a girl's approval, or overly-avoids conflict because he's too afraid to deal with it, is when it's a turn-off.

Also some guys try to "act nice" or do nice things but with selfish reasons (e.x. trying to make a girl sleep with them), and when they overdo it it seems creepy or fake. And girls with standards aren't going to date a guy who's a complete lowlife or abuser; and if anyone is jealous of these the type of girls who do, then they have issues.

But the "I can't get laid because I'm too nice!" line is just a cop-out - if a guy can't get a date it's because he has other personal issues.

(For the record, "nice" wasn't even originally a compliment; the etymology actually refers to "pedantic" or "foolish").

hurtloam
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03 Oct 2016, 8:32 am

Bingo!

Here is an example of dropping a cliché like it's not common knowledge:

Quote:

(For the record, "nice" wasn't even originally a compliment; the etymology actually refers to "pedantic" or "foolish").

kraftiekortie
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03 Oct 2016, 8:35 am

"Nice", in the days of Chaucer, meant "foolish."

How are you, Hurtloam?

Boxman108
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03 Oct 2016, 8:56 am

Yep, totally invisible lol

The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Oct 2016, 9:39 am

hurtloam wrote:

Bingo!

Here is an example of dropping a cliché like it's not common knowledge:

Quote:

(For the record, "nice" wasn't even originally a compliment; the etymology actually refers to "pedantic" or "foolish").

Maybe it's a common knowledge for the native English-speakers, for me this a new info.

So thank you Soulsparrer for making me learn something new.

So does that mean Soulsparrer has just irritated you and lost his chance of dating you, just like that?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 03 Oct 2016, 12:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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