Am I morally obligated to tell a partner about any AS?

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Wow!... I really don't know what to say here, so I am going to just speak from my heart, and shoot straight. First off, depending on where you are in the spectrum, it may or may not be easy to hide your Autism well enough to keep it secret from someone, but why would you do this to someone you love, if they supposedly love you? My second point is, eventually, the person is going to find out, and I think they are going to be hurt, that you didn't tell them from the beginning about something that important. Now, for my personal take on things, stemming from my personal situation. Not every woman is the same... Not everyone is going to see Autism as a horribly bad thing, that should be kept in the dark. I knew my boyfriend had Autism, before I went out with him. It is a part of him, and I believe that it is what makes him the person he is, and part of what gives him his personality. He is a kind, sweet, jentle person, who has a heart of gold, who would help anyone who needs it. He has a love for animals, music, God, and his family, though his love is shown in different ways than they realize. I fell in love with him Autism and all. I just finally learned that I need to communicate with him differently, and he tells me things in so many different ways. He also fell in love with me regardless of my disability, or maybe because it makes me who I am as well. Either way, we learn how to communicate with each other in so many different ways, and we are patient with one another taking into account our strengths and weaknesses, and helping each other when we need it. That's what you do when you love each other. If you don't tell someone what is going on with you, how do you expect them to understand you? How can they?

I think it is important to tell your partner! Because as stated, once you bring lies and secrets into a relationship things can turn sour quickly. If she loves you the 'For better or for worse' and she loves you then it shouldn't be an issue as she has already accepted you for who you are. If anything it will give her a heads up on any possible quirky behavior you might show that you are not aware of yourself at the time.. and really if she doesn't accept that and listen to the realities of those on the spectrum, then id say you dodged a bullet! Although it is purely up to you on whether you wish to disclose or not but it isn't going to be an easy explanation if she finds out from an alternative source and you will be having to do a lot of explaining when it comes to 'Trust' and 'honesty'... I understand your concerns however if she loves you it shouldn't matter!

I think it personally depends on how serious the relationship gets, such as marriage and whatnot.

However, I've heard stories of a few Aspies that told their partners that they had it right after the partner had confessed their attraction towards them, and in the end, it worked out alright.

It's going to come out sooner or later if she cannot accept you then f**k her get someone who can

If a person likes you they're not suddenly going to get repulsed when you mention the aspergers, I myself haven't mentioned it first thing when dating...waited till things were actually going in the direction of a serious relationship and my boyfriend didn't care. I mean its not like I appear like a typical nt person, so it would have been kind of silly to try and keep it secret especially being on SSI I would have had to come up with a false job and pretend I was going to work for it to even be partially convincing....much easier and more the right thing to do, to just tell the person, if they already want a relationship with you they're more likely to be understanding or at least supportive/not bothered by it than suddenly decide they want nothing to do with you.

and this.

It is definitely in your best interests to tell her. As your relationship develops she is going to be in your face 24x7. She will expect you to attend social events with no advanced notice, and then she will go off with her friends and leave you in the middle of it all. She will start laughing at your obsessions and start telling you you need to do something else.

It will be much easier to lay it all out at the start. If she isn't up for it, then really you want to turn around and run - she is not the one for you. Find someone who will understand. Your sanity depends on it.

No, if she likes you its for who you are. although if you ever get engaged then yes tell her, after all if she is going to want children by you she would want to know.

Honesty is the best policy.

Unless of course you find someone who doesn't expect their S.O to attend social events with no notice beforehand, doesn't ditch them at some awkward event to go off with friends and doesn't make fun of obsessions and tell them they need to do something else.

I always think honesty is the best policy.

So basically someone who isn't neurotypical?

Please give some of us some credit. I would never do any of that crap to my husband and I'd never take him to some social event he didn't want to. Hell, it's typically me who doesn't want to go to social events.

I'd say give it a month or two. If she doesn't notice anything on her own you should talk to her about it. If she cares that much that she breaks up with you, then she's definitely not someone you want to get further involved with.

If you don't tell her and things do magically work out, be prepared for a potential and angry break/up when she wises up later.

Maybe you're not morally obligated to tell your partner about your AS, but she's also not morally obligated to stick with you when the secrets start revealing themselves.

Dude, I get it that you got burned but you're projecting too much. My NT wife does none of these things and neither of us even knew I was autistic when we met. There are a lot of NTs out there who aren't vapid, mindless, inconsiderate and uncaring, and plenty of aspies who are *shrug*.

But I do agree with you on the last part, it's vital to get such expectations sorted out before the relationship gets serious otherwise you'll both be miserable.

I don't think every neurotypical would behave that way, since when does NT mean anything other than lack of a neurological disorder?
Now it's a specific rude/unpleasant personality type. My boyfriend is NT and he doesn't act like that...and well neither one of us really have social events to go to in the first place but don't think either one of us would be abandoning the other to go hang out with friends.

Yeah, you are probably right - not every NT is like that. I've just come out of a marriage with one who was, so am just feeling a little bitter etc...