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Meeting people in coffee shops.

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Outrider
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05 Oct 2016, 11:09 pm

Yeah, well I've filled out and have always had RAF for a long time now, so it's probably why I rarely get harassed.

I shouldn't apply the same logic to women.

RBF is a thing for them but it's probably more likely for a woman to be actually angry if she looks angry than it is for an angry looking male to actually be angry.



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Oct 2016, 1:06 am

Jono wrote:
Aspie1 wrote:
People in this thread seem to be forgetting the difference between having an existing (first) date in a coffee shop and finding a new date in a coffee shop. The former is still going strong as ever, although some schools of thought say that a coffee shop date is too business-like, and advocate something more lively instead. The latter hasn't been true for at least 10 years. I don't remember ever hearing stories of people finding their significant other or their one-nighter in a coffee shop, other than in the outdated book I read; I became old enough to meet people independently in 2001.

Perhaps due to literal thinking and/or language pragmatics, the aspies on here are confusing two dissimilar meanings of "meet": (1) engage face-to-face with an already-known person after agreeing to do that on the phone, and (2) get to know a new person for the first time.


There does not exist any public place where you can meet "new dates" unless it's at a function specifically designed for that purpose like a singles night or a speed dating event or something. No matter where it is, you're going to look creepy if you just randomly ask strangers on dates. The only safe way to do it is to go to functions specifically designed to find people to date or use online websites specifically designed to do it, or to have friends introduce you to new people. However, you can't just randomly approach strangers.

If you meet for a first date at a coffee shop then that's fine but I don't see how you can meet new people there unless you have mutual friends to introduce you.


^ This.



auntblabby
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07 Oct 2016, 1:38 am

coffee shops are some of the most cold-blooded places I've visited, everybody not already part of a quasi-high-school clique has their nose buried in their electronic device or [less often these days] in a newspaper or book.



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Oct 2016, 1:48 am

It is the case everywhere, whether it is coffee shop, gym, public park.... Jono's post nailed it.

For me, cold approach is a myth promoted by PUAs to sell books.



Aspie1
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07 Oct 2016, 7:00 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It is the case everywhere, whether it is coffee shop, gym, public park.... Jono's post nailed it.

For me, cold approach is a myth promoted by PUAs to sell books.
It's not a myth... for 20% of men. The few. The proud. The alpha males.

Women can sense who's alpha and who's beta; it's an evolutionary instinct to protect them from beta genes. So for rest of us, it's best to stick to traditional dating venues, and forget about what PUA authors call "day game".