Anyone relate to this kind of desire?

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I have actually shared this story with a therapist, and ironically she said that was the thing that really convinced her I do need an adult partner (as in, that my ideal partner is an adult--though childlike in some ways--not that my ideal partner is a kid but that I need to change to look for adults). Not that she ever thought I'd be most compatible with a kid, but that this got rid of whatever doubt she had.

While we're at it though, given your comment about what it would look like if you pursued an 18-year-old "boy", I wonder if you are denying whatever ephebophile tendencies YOU have. I have no problem if you have them--I don't care if someone is attracted to adults, kids, males, females, dogs, cats, or lampposts as long as he/she treats his/her objects of attraction with respect and acceptance. From what I hear from female ephebophiles and pedophiles, they find themselves much less targets of hate than their male counterparts, so there's really no reason for you to NOT accept yourself if that's how you feel.

Cmon man, no need to be argue about this.

I don't believe you're some kind of pervert; if anybody says you are, I will defend you.

But it's also not nice to insult other people.

No, I am not sexually attracted to teenagers: my point in using myself (an adult close to your age) as an example is that it would be inappropriate to seek someone so much younger than oneself, regardless of gender. You seem to have missed that point. Teenaged boys look like children to me (even 18-year-olds) so I don't find them sexually attractive, and I could never date someone that much younger than me because I wouldn't be able to relate to their lack of life experience compared to me. I like full grown adult men, like with body and facial hair.

ETA: I'm glad to hear that you've shared this with a therapist and that she reaffirmed that an adult woman is what you should be aiming for and is the kind of relationship that would be healthy for you and not predatory.

I'm not trying to insult anyone. I used to think I was a pedophile/ephebophile/whatever myself. My therapists have done a quite good job of convincing me that I'm not one (out of four of them, not one thought I was, and the fifth and only one who sort of thought I might be one was completely unlicensed and had other problems),

Getting back to your original comment, yes I'd like someone who's sort of close to my age, if possible. I'm basically open to someone of any age as long as she is legal, but I'd probably best understand someone's life situation who has attended some college, is able to drive, and has lived for at least a short time in her own apartment. However, I realize that I might need to be flexible on one or all of those in order to find someone who is socially where I'm at (and who has the childlike looks I'm attracted to).

Last edited by B19 on 05 Jan 2017, 4:01 am, edited 1 time in total.: paedophilia comment removed

I see. So then you're not closeted in that regard.

I have trouble seeing why anyone would want males with body and facial hair--or would want to BE a male with more than minimal body or facial hair. I feel the best about my own body the more boyish I look--my ideal partner not only looks like a child/young teen (even though I do want her to be old enough to consent, and not TOO intellectually behind), but prefers guys who look that way too.

If I had my say, physically growing up would be considered a genetic defect and people of both sexes would be engineered to look 13-ish for their entire adult lives.

As a scientist this should not be hard for you to understand--those characteristics (body hair on an adult man) show that he is physically an adult, is healthy enough to grow hair, and is old enough to reproduce. These things are going to appeal to many straight adult women for obvious biological reasons. Also for cultural reasons, signs of adulthood are going to be sexually attractive to other adults. This makes perfect sense, and should not be difficult to understand even if it is not what you personally are sexually attracted to. Children can't make babies, so even biologically (let alone ethically) it makes no sense to be sexually attracted to them.

It makes sense intellectually--it's just not something I can relate to. And by that I mean not only that I am not attracted to men, but that as I said it isn't even something I want to be. I do have some of the male equivalent--I do find breasts and body curves attractive, but on the other hand most of the supposedly "hot" women have breasts that are TOO large and "balloony", and their facial features are way too "bold" or "edgy" for lack of a better word. That's why I specify in the story that the girl has soft features and a button nose.

I don't know what the purpose of my attraction is in the grand scheme of things--liking less developed faces, playful non-reproductive eroticism, and innocence in general. Maybe people like me are meant to "reproduce" through ideas? It does seem that very few people place things like imagination, wonder, and rich inner life as high as I do on the list of must-haves--most people put one or more of maturity, stability, popularity, toughness, ability to "hold your own" somehow (whether in sports, financially, in debates, in social settings, etc.) considerably higher than I do.

You have to consider a few things biostructure:
-This is a work of fiction, based on fantasy and desire. The connotations of which when paired with girls 16-18 as described in your fiction when the author or fan is a male 31 years of age can be unsettling for other people.
-Others might relate to you but this is still a work of fiction.
-Have you considered what girls this age think about your personal desire or have you only looked at it from your point of view?
-More to wilburforce's point, are you going to feel the same in 10 or 20 years time do you reckon? If so, no matter how you dress it, it would class you as some sort of 'phile because it then becomes a sexual preference and not a work of fiction.

One of the things that makes me uncomfortable is that the girl is purely created as a tool for the man to use for a relationship. She does everything perfect and exactly how he wants and women just aren't like that.

Women are crazy and fustrsting and half the time we don't even know why we are. She needs a story of her own and flaws of her own to make her a realistic character.

And it's this same reason why women characters in films and television are so poorly written. The stories are written by primarily men, and men have this mental block and still tend to see us as alien creatures or something, and we only exist to facilitate the happiness of the male protagonist.

I prefer to not read this.

Anyway, a young woman of 18 yo or slightly older is legally and usually biologically an adult (in terms of face, body...etc); it still strange and very questionable for a 30+ man to date someone of that age but it's not a pedophilia act itself.

However a real pedophile might go for a 18 old who still looks childish, to disguise his tendencies; it would still not legally an act pedophilia but the real intention is there.

Ok, I shall be less curious next time.

I don't think it's pedophilia if a woman/girl is sexually mature.

Unfortunately, women can be sexually mature at very young ages sometimes.

We have legal ages for a reason. We must follow them.

An Aspie in his 30's, who has had little or no sexual experience and who still lives at home.....I don't believe this man would be exploiting a college-aged girl.

I believe their maturity level, and their life experience, are quite similar.

I was a person who desired OLDER women when I was young.

I still can find an older woman to be attractive.

I like "cougar-aged" women too, but in a quite different sort of way that isn't interchangeable. It's more of a mother-son sort of thing in that case, where the woman nurtures the development of my mind and is proud of me rather than invigorating and inspiring me.