Dating sites - do they actually work?

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GiantHockeyFan
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21 Jan 2017, 11:48 pm

Datalis wrote:
Basically if you're not a hardcore progressive liberal


In my experience every single person I met from OKCupid was a hardcore left winger. You know the type: the kind who don't watch TV, either don't or rarely eat meat, obsessed with organic/gluten free/free range food, usually didn't own a car because they murder the planet, holier than thou attitude, etc.. I say this as someone who could be classified as left of centre.



Datalis
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21 Jan 2017, 11:52 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Datalis wrote:
Basically if you're not a hardcore progressive liberal


In my experience every single person I met from OKCupid was a hardcore left winger. You know the type: the kind who don't watch TV, either don't or rarely eat meat, obsessed with organic/gluten free/free range food, usually didn't own a car because they murder the planet, holier than thou attitude, etc.. I say this as someone who could be classified as left of centre.

Yup!



Dox47
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22 Jan 2017, 2:37 am

Yeah, they do, but they take some practice to get the hang of. Speaking as a guy, I'd say the single most important thing you need is a good picture, but the second most important thing is to systematically cleanse anything you write (or photos of you) of anything that might be considered a "deal breaker". That means no politics, no divisive hobbies, no vices, nothing remotely controversial (yes, that means saying nothing about AS). I say that not to counsel people to be dishonest or to hide who they are, but because when you're using a dating site as a man, women are massively outnumbered and can get very choosy when flipping through profiles, so it's very important not to have anything immediately "disqualifying" to a sizable chunk of people right out front.

In my experience, if you can get through that first date and have any kind of chemistry, things that would have gotten you passed over in the flipping through profiles stage suddenly become OK, as people are a lot more willing to overlook things once they've gotten to know you a little better. I've dated many girls who would never have gone near me due to politics alone, and it's never really been a problem, because unless you're dating some kind of actual revolutionary, for the vast majority of people, politics are much less important to their day to day than they tend to think.

Basically, I'm saying that chemistry will usually trump ideology and other assumptions that people may have about their "ideal" match, so you just need to create a little space for that chemistry to happen.


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Datalis
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22 Jan 2017, 3:32 am

Dox47 wrote:
Yeah, they do, but they take some practice to get the hang of. Speaking as a guy, I'd say the single most important thing you need is a good picture, but the second most important thing is to systematically cleanse anything you write (or photos of you) of anything that might be considered a "deal breaker". That means no politics, no divisive hobbies, no vices, nothing remotely controversial (yes, that means saying nothing about AS). I say that not to counsel people to be dishonest or to hide who they are, but because when you're using a dating site as a man, women are massively outnumbered and can get very choosy when flipping through profiles, so it's very important not to have anything immediately "disqualifying" to a sizable chunk of people right out front.

In my experience, if you can get through that first date and have any kind of chemistry, things that would have gotten you passed over in the flipping through profiles stage suddenly become OK, as people are a lot more willing to overlook things once they've gotten to know you a little better. I've dated many girls who would never have gone near me due to politics alone, and it's never really been a problem, because unless you're dating some kind of actual revolutionary, for the vast majority of people, politics are much less important to their day to day than they tend to think.

Basically, I'm saying that chemistry will usually trump ideology and other assumptions that people may have about their "ideal" match, so you just need to create a little space for that chemistry to happen.

You've never been to Maryland. Most women's pages are filled with progressive politics and why they hate Trump.



nurseangela
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22 Jan 2017, 3:39 am

Datalis wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
Yeah, they do, but they take some practice to get the hang of. Speaking as a guy, I'd say the single most important thing you need is a good picture, but the second most important thing is to systematically cleanse anything you write (or photos of you) of anything that might be considered a "deal breaker". That means no politics, no divisive hobbies, no vices, nothing remotely controversial (yes, that means saying nothing about AS). I say that not to counsel people to be dishonest or to hide who they are, but because when you're using a dating site as a man, women are massively outnumbered and can get very choosy when flipping through profiles, so it's very important not to have anything immediately "disqualifying" to a sizable chunk of people right out front.

In my experience, if you can get through that first date and have any kind of chemistry, things that would have gotten you passed over in the flipping through profiles stage suddenly become OK, as people are a lot more willing to overlook things once they've gotten to know you a little better. I've dated many girls who would never have gone near me due to politics alone, and it's never really been a problem, because unless you're dating some kind of actual revolutionary, for the vast majority of people, politics are much less important to their day to day than they tend to think.

Basically, I'm saying that chemistry will usually trump ideology and other assumptions that people may have about their "ideal" match, so you just need to create a little space for that chemistry to happen.

You've never been to Maryland. Most women's pages are filled with progressive politics and why they hate Trump.


You don't date those. At least they make it easy for you to weed them out.


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nurseangela
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22 Jan 2017, 3:41 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Datalis wrote:
Basically if you're not a hardcore progressive liberal


In my experience every single person I met from OKCupid was a hardcore left winger. You know the type: the kind who don't watch TV, either don't or rarely eat meat, obsessed with organic/gluten free/free range food, usually didn't own a car because they murder the planet, holier than thou attitude, etc.. I say this as someone who could be classified as left of centre.


They sound like a fun date. Not.


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Datalis
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22 Jan 2017, 3:48 am

nurseangela wrote:
Datalis wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
Yeah, they do, but they take some practice to get the hang of. Speaking as a guy, I'd say the single most important thing you need is a good picture, but the second most important thing is to systematically cleanse anything you write (or photos of you) of anything that might be considered a "deal breaker". That means no politics, no divisive hobbies, no vices, nothing remotely controversial (yes, that means saying nothing about AS). I say that not to counsel people to be dishonest or to hide who they are, but because when you're using a dating site as a man, women are massively outnumbered and can get very choosy when flipping through profiles, so it's very important not to have anything immediately "disqualifying" to a sizable chunk of people right out front.

In my experience, if you can get through that first date and have any kind of chemistry, things that would have gotten you passed over in the flipping through profiles stage suddenly become OK, as people are a lot more willing to overlook things once they've gotten to know you a little better. I've dated many girls who would never have gone near me due to politics alone, and it's never really been a problem, because unless you're dating some kind of actual revolutionary, for the vast majority of people, politics are much less important to their day to day than they tend to think.

Basically, I'm saying that chemistry will usually trump ideology and other assumptions that people may have about their "ideal" match, so you just need to create a little space for that chemistry to happen.

You've never been to Maryland. Most women's pages are filled with progressive politics and why they hate Trump.


You don't date those. At least they make it easy for you to weed them out.

Yeah, but it's about 97% of them! Maryland sucks so bad. I was going to message a woman and she stated she's into shooting for target practice. She seemed really interesing. She is all into comics and other cool stuff. Well, she wrote on her profile that she doesn't care what party you belong to; just as long as you hate Trump. Yeah, because it's not like Trump was the pro-gun candidate or anything! Granted she isn't in Maryland, she's in Pennsylvania; but still. Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania and now even Virginia suck.



Dox47
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22 Jan 2017, 5:37 am

Datalis wrote:
You've never been to Maryland. Most women's pages are filled with progressive politics and why they hate Trump.


I live in Seattle.


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nurseangela
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22 Jan 2017, 6:06 am

Dox47 wrote:
Datalis wrote:
You've never been to Maryland. Most women's pages are filled with progressive politics and why they hate Trump.


I live in Seattle.


However, Mr. D., could you be as suave in a red state? I think not since you are not a Trump supporter. :mrgreen:


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Alliekit
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22 Jan 2017, 10:15 am

Datalis wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
Yeah, they do, but they take some practice to get the hang of. Speaking as a guy, I'd say the single most important thing you need is a good picture, but the second most important thing is to systematically cleanse anything you write (or photos of you) of anything that might be considered a "deal breaker". That means no politics, no divisive hobbies, no vices, nothing remotely controversial (yes, that means saying nothing about AS). I say that not to counsel people to be dishonest or to hide who they are, but because when you're using a dating site as a man, women are massively outnumbered and can get very choosy when flipping through profiles, so it's very important not to have anything immediately "disqualifying" to a sizable chunk of people right out front.

In my experience, if you can get through that first date and have any kind of chemistry, things that would have gotten you passed over in the flipping through profiles stage suddenly become OK, as people are a lot more willing to overlook things once they've gotten to know you a little better. I've dated many girls who would never have gone near me due to politics alone, and it's never really been a problem, because unless you're dating some kind of actual revolutionary, for the vast majority of people, politics are much less important to their day to day than they tend to think.

Basically, I'm saying that chemistry will usually trump ideology and other assumptions that people may have about their "ideal" match, so you just need to create a little space for that chemistry to happen.

You've never been to Maryland. Most women's pages are filled with progressive politics and why they hate Trump.


Seems stupid to bring up politics on a dating site. If there are 2 things that shouldn't be discussed on a first date it's politics and previous relationships



LonelyRabbit
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22 Jan 2017, 6:27 pm

I feel sorry for you men, women can be vicious and soooo fake!

Every time I'm honest on dating sites, I never seem to find matches...

Here would be my dating profile:

Hi, I'm **** and I'm quite different from a lot of girls. I don't like to party and get wasted every weekend, I'd much rather stay at home and play vidya games and watch sh***y movies.

I'm a childfree woman so if you want children, good luck finding a uterus somewhere else. (this is a serious deal breaker for me)

Don't worry, I'm not a feminist, I just don't want children. I won't scream "RAPE" if you hold the door open for me;)

Want to get married? don't worry about a diamond ring! or a wedding for that matter. I'm totally fine with just signing papers and having a kick ass honeymoon (money better well spent)!

All I ask for in a guy is that he's honest, loyal, has a sense of humor, has a spine, and doesn't have anger issues.

I also love giving gifts, whether they're store bought or hand made by me^^



nurseangela
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22 Jan 2017, 6:33 pm

LonelyRabbit wrote:
I feel sorry for you men, women can be vicious and soooo fake!

Every time I'm honest on dating sites, I never seem to find matches...

Here would be my dating profile:

Hi, I'm **** and I'm quite different from a lot of girls. I don't like to party and get wasted every weekend, I'd much rather stay at home and play vidya games and watch sh***y movies.

I'm a childfree woman so if you want children, good luck finding a uterus somewhere else. (this is a serious deal breaker for me)

Don't worry, I'm not a feminist, I just don't want children. I won't scream "RAPE" if you hold the door open for me;)

Want to get married? don't worry about a diamond ring! or a wedding for that matter. I'm totally fine with just signing papers and having a kick ass honeymoon (money better well spent)!

All I ask for in a guy is that he's honest, loyal, has a sense of humor, has a spine, and doesn't have anger issues.

I also love giving gifts, whether they're store bought or hand made by me^^


What's wrong with that bio? If you get no bites, it just means that the men on those sites are just as fake and wanting fake women who say the right things and LOOK the right way. Screw the down-to-earth ones. In reality, men are no different.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


Datalis
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22 Jan 2017, 6:45 pm

LonelyRabbit wrote:
I feel sorry for you men, women can be vicious and soooo fake!

Every time I'm honest on dating sites, I never seem to find matches...

Here would be my dating profile:

Hi, I'm **** and I'm quite different from a lot of girls. I don't like to party and get wasted every weekend, I'd much rather stay at home and play vidya games and watch sh***y movies.

I'm a childfree woman so if you want children, good luck finding a uterus somewhere else. (this is a serious deal breaker for me)

Don't worry, I'm not a feminist, I just don't want children. I won't scream "RAPE" if you hold the door open for me;)

Want to get married? don't worry about a diamond ring! or a wedding for that matter. I'm totally fine with just signing papers and having a kick ass honeymoon (money better well spent)!

All I ask for in a guy is that he's honest, loyal, has a sense of humor, has a spine, and doesn't have anger issues.

I also love giving gifts, whether they're store bought or hand made by me^^

Why must all the decent women live far? lol



LonelyRabbit
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22 Jan 2017, 6:47 pm

Datalis wrote:
LonelyRabbit wrote:
I feel sorry for you men, women can be vicious and soooo fake!

Every time I'm honest on dating sites, I never seem to find matches...

Here would be my dating profile:

Hi, I'm **** and I'm quite different from a lot of girls. I don't like to party and get wasted every weekend, I'd much rather stay at home and play vidya games and watch sh***y movies.

I'm a childfree woman so if you want children, good luck finding a uterus somewhere else. (this is a serious deal breaker for me)

Don't worry, I'm not a feminist, I just don't want children. I won't scream "RAPE" if you hold the door open for me;)

Want to get married? don't worry about a diamond ring! or a wedding for that matter. I'm totally fine with just signing papers and having a kick ass honeymoon (money better well spent)!

All I ask for in a guy is that he's honest, loyal, has a sense of humor, has a spine, and doesn't have anger issues.

I also love giving gifts, whether they're store bought or hand made by me^^

Why must all the decent women live far? lol


I can say the same thing :lol:



LonelyRabbit
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22 Jan 2017, 6:50 pm

nurseangela wrote:
LonelyRabbit wrote:
I feel sorry for you men, women can be vicious and soooo fake!

Every time I'm honest on dating sites, I never seem to find matches...

Here would be my dating profile:

Hi, I'm **** and I'm quite different from a lot of girls. I don't like to party and get wasted every weekend, I'd much rather stay at home and play vidya games and watch sh***y movies.

I'm a childfree woman so if you want children, good luck finding a uterus somewhere else. (this is a serious deal breaker for me)

Don't worry, I'm not a feminist, I just don't want children. I won't scream "RAPE" if you hold the door open for me;)

Want to get married? don't worry about a diamond ring! or a wedding for that matter. I'm totally fine with just signing papers and having a kick ass honeymoon (money better well spent)!

All I ask for in a guy is that he's honest, loyal, has a sense of humor, has a spine, and doesn't have anger issues.

I also love giving gifts, whether they're store bought or hand made by me^^


What's wrong with that bio? If you get no bites, it just means that the men on those sites are just as fake and wanting fake women who say the right things and LOOK the right way. Screw the down-to-earth ones. In reality, men are no different.


Yeah, the ones who say "i'm so down to earth and accepting blah blah blah" they really aren't:/



nurseangela
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22 Jan 2017, 7:23 pm

LonelyRabbit wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
LonelyRabbit wrote:
I feel sorry for you men, women can be vicious and soooo fake!

Every time I'm honest on dating sites, I never seem to find matches...

Here would be my dating profile:

Hi, I'm **** and I'm quite different from a lot of girls. I don't like to party and get wasted every weekend, I'd much rather stay at home and play vidya games and watch sh***y movies.

I'm a childfree woman so if you want children, good luck finding a uterus somewhere else. (this is a serious deal breaker for me)

Don't worry, I'm not a feminist, I just don't want children. I won't scream "RAPE" if you hold the door open for me;)

Want to get married? don't worry about a diamond ring! or a wedding for that matter. I'm totally fine with just signing papers and having a kick ass honeymoon (money better well spent)!

All I ask for in a guy is that he's honest, loyal, has a sense of humor, has a spine, and doesn't have anger issues.

I also love giving gifts, whether they're store bought or hand made by me^^


What's wrong with that bio? If you get no bites, it just means that the men on those sites are just as fake and wanting fake women who say the right things and LOOK the right way. Screw the down-to-earth ones. In reality, men are no different.


Yeah, the ones who say "i'm so down to earth and accepting blah blah blah" they really aren't:/


Nope. I've been on them before and I got off and never returned. It's a shallow meat market, imo. I think it's a place for people to go who want a quickie relationship long enough to get a romp in the hay.


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.