"hard to get"
WHere's the manual for this stupidity...
Here's the manual, especially given what you said here about being known for not thinking it matters that much... She just didn't want to be alone. Period. End of story. It had nothing to do with sex. She was down and didn't want to be alone to think. She wanted company and you were there and don't think sex is all that important so you are safe.
As for hard to get (outside of this instance), here's the deal... People want what they can't have. You could be like me in that you don't show any interest unless you are REALLY interested. My face and actions are passive and mostly that's because I have no feelings one way or the other about the person. At least with NT men, that is like waving a red cape in front of them. If they are trying to flirt and you aren't getting it, they think you are interested so they try even harder. It's a competition thing. They want to win and winning means getting you because you are not showing interest in them. They want to win so they keep competing harder until you give in. Once they have you, game over and it's on to the next one. So that's how it works.
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People say I'm crazy
doing what I'm doing,
Well they give me all kinds of warnings
to save me from ruin
Fiz
Veteran

Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,821
Location: Manchester, United Kingdom
It's probably to do with pride and vanity. It pleases people's vanity that others make a big effort to get them and hence they play hard to get. people will go for those that play hard to get because it's like a hunter cathcing a particularly hard to catch prey - it speaks well of their skills, etc.
In my case, I think that if they're vain enough to play hard to get, I'm not interested. I would never play hard to get myself; I don't play games.
_________________
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)
El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)
I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).
I could never understand the idea of playing "hard-to-get". If someone indicates interest and you feel the same way, anything other than reciprocating that interest is being dishonest. Someone tries that with me, I walk away.
_________________
"Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps." -- Emo Philips
You're assuming that this is done consciously.
I'm sure some people do, but mine is a side
effect of my inappropriate responses.
I am the same. i want honesty; if that's not available, then I'm not interested.
_________________
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)
El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)
I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).
You're assuming that this is done consciously.
In many cases, it is. For some reason, some women think of it as a game.
But you think love is a game
But I'm sorry, I don't play that way
-- "Tainted Love" (version done by Shades Apart)
_________________
"Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps." -- Emo Philips
Never heard anything but the
soft cell version. Funny, I thought
the lyrics were different:
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light
For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night
(chorus)
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Oh...tainted love
Tainted love
Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want IT any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
And you'LL think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way
(chorus...)
Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go
Tainted love, tainted love (x2)
Touch me baby, tainted love (x2)
Tainted love (x3)
Definitely like THESE better.
I see the version you've got,
but the original speaks much
better, in terms of lyrics.
sometimes i am not sure if i'm interested in someone until i have spent some time with them, i can see why that might make it look a bit like i'm playing at hard to get. mind you. once i've made up my mind, i'm as subtle as a brick!
I'm glad ya pointed that out. I probably was too general in my reply. What you said there is completely understandable, no doubt. I was more referring to those who intentionally play hard to get regardless of the time two people have known each other and circumstances, that it's a continuous game of hard to get.
_________________
"...I don't care if it is genocide, as long as it gets rid of you idiots..."
I've been told I am a relatively good-looking guy. And not by myself while looking in the mirror!
So I've had my share of interest from the ladies, but was always considered to be playing hard to get. I came across in a way that was not intentional, but I was just uncomfortable with the social thing. This happened a lot when I was younger and still a little today. It was always easier for me to fall for a friend, since these other encounters would rarely materialize to anything besides frustration. However, from personal experience, I can say that the technique works on a lot of ladies, especially younger ones who want to play the game!
_________________
I won?t tell anyone else how to be
You can be yourself, but just let me be me
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