I could never make a move....sexually that is

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There is a natural treatment for shyness and fear of rejection. It works like this:
(1) Develop a mad crush on someone
(2) Be afraid to do anything about it
(3) Watch them get involved with somebody else, and feel really awful
(4) Kick yourself for letting your fear keep you in endless procrastination
(5) Go back to (1) and repeat

Yes, being rejected is extremely unpleasant, and will make your already low level of confidence even lower. But it's over with fairly quickly. The alternative is a trail of regrets which goes on forever.

You will probably clumsily botch things at first, but eventually you will do better. And the times when you don't get rejected will do wonders for your confidence.

I had the same problem with my first two girflriends. The second one eventually made a move herself, but from there after, she left it up to me...this was the main reason the relationship ended...two months later.

My third relationship lasted well over a year. I used the inability to make a move in the previous two as motivation not to let it happen again. We were out with friends at a movie...towards the end I determined that I would not walk out of the theatre without making an attempt. I think I may have given her a slight scare, as it may have been a little rapid, or unexpected. Nonetheless, it broke the ice...

If you've been seeing someone for a considerable amount of time, and they haven't indicated otherwise, it's probably going to be welcome in whatever form it takes. But I guess courage is the issue...just remember that it's not the end of the world and eventually any awkwardness will be overshadowed and humored by good things.

I know exactly what you mean, Bixbeiderbecke. Both times in the past that I had sex, I was not the one to instigate it. (Meaning, both times, it was her idea.) So now if I was to get into another relationship, I still would have no clue as to how to properly broach the subject, and would wait for her to make the first move...

I had the recent unpleasant experience of sitting through an entire film with a girl I had asked out feeling desparate to make a move but being virtually paralysed by the thought that I was unable to read her expressions and tell when/how to go about it. Afterwards she hit me with the 'just friends' dialogue and I knew I had blown it.

And that's how I manage to get some.

I feel your pain exactly! I've had a lot of impossible crushes in college and I've never been able to get past just being casual friends. Ironically, I was at a party the other night and a girl I've liked for years said "I love you" to me for giving her a shot of my rum (in a friendly, not a romantic tone). It was rather weird feeling especially since she is graduating and I may never see her again.

The thing that works for me (not very well, admittedly), is just experimenting with girl's boundaries. If you approach with a start of a hug does she go for it? Does she instigate any physical contact? (For instance, I was at a pool party at a professor's house floating face down and one of the girls there pushed me under more. I resurfaced figured out it was her, picked her up, and gave her a friendly dunk in return. Everybody Happy!). Another indicator I look for is whether or not a girl is willing to give you her undivided attention. If so, you may have a chance with something, friendship at the least.

I assume AS makes it harder to tell, right?

I read this science fiction story years ago about a future society where everyone at a certain age gets scanned by a computer, and then the computer matches everyone to their best possible match, based on personality, interests, sexual compatibility, and of course sexual orientation.

Ever since then I've wished that's how it worked in real life! Who wouldn't want their perfect (or most perfect) possible match picked out for them?

This can be a real problem for Aspies. I'll give you an example from my life. The best relationship I ever had was with a highly intelligent, very attractive professional woman, highly successful. We had gone out, I simply couldn't believe my good fortune that she (who could have any guy she wanted) would be interested in ME. So, I wanted to be very careful not to spoil things by trying to make a move too soon and have her think all I was interested in was sex.

This almost backfired. We ended up sleeping together on the fifth date (the average, according to all the polls, is the third). She told me much later that by this point she had about decided that I didn't find her attractive since I hadn't made a move and wasn't reading all the signals she was sending. Her comment was "I MIGHT have done it on the first date, definitely would have on the second, actively wanted to on the third, was climbing the walls on the fourth. I had decided that I would make the move on the fifth date and if you didn't respond I was going to break it off, it was getting frustrating." Once she understood AS she was much more understanding - I found her insanely attractive but couldn't read the "signals". Fortunately, she was confident enough to come out in a very sexy negligee when we got back to her place after dinner on the fifth date, and I DID pick up on that.

But to this day, this remains a big problem for me.