I am dating a person with Aspergers

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Well let this be a lesson to you and your boyfriend that his bad behavior hurts more than just him and he needs to learn how to handle uncomfortable situations better without snapping. Asperger's or not, he is accountable for his words and actions. What if I had "just snapped" on my boss, and started insulting him? I would lose my job, and if I lost my job, I would lose my house and medical insurance, and if I lost my house and medical insurance, I would lose most of my possessions, and security, and access to medical care, and if I lost my access to medical care, I may very well die.

If I were your boyfriend, I would apologize profusely to your mother. I would tell her how disrespectful I was, and that I realize I should have handled the situation better and I hope she will forgive me and let me make it up to her.

Aspergers is not an excuse,though we are largely in the right?,man up,when your in the wrong.

In this case,you are.

There is never an excuse to disrespect others,despite what your feeling or experiencing.

Put yourself in other peoples shoes,how would you 'feel'?

*Shrugs*

Best thing i think you both could do that also will help each other is through education about the spectrum. there are many great youtube videos that explain the sensory issues and explaining the neural networking of an aspie being that upto 10x that of an NT, ie a lot is going on behind closed doors . Also means 10x the anger outbursts (potentially), going from a stoic look to Thor like status in a snap. Many of us aspies dont react the same way to most. So we may seem placid on the outside but internally we are trying to keep the storm suppressed. The beauty is many can also love 10x as much due to the increase in chemical/biological makeup. Many, many other points. But to educate the mother especially and try to approach her in a calm and none threatening manner. Just ask for as much time as you can give energy to and if you have difficulty explaining, then videos can be a good way to educate. We have to remember there is still an unwarranted stigma and false theories behind such a diversity and if you are not willing to educate then expect the same results over and over again... Best of luck to you both

You all seem to believe that we have not told her mother that I'm an aspie. You all seem to believe that I did not apologize. Neither of these are true. I did both and she still forbids contact between us. I'm aware I was in the wrong and I take responsibility for what I did, but her mother refuses to reciprocate this gesture of good will. She absolutely will not understand Aspergers. Sadly, that's seeming like the bottom line for her.

Is this the mother who kept prodding you physically while directing insults at you? As far as I'm concerned, that's abuse and I think she deserved to be called a c*nt. It was extremely inappropriate of her and she should be ashamed of herself.

honestly, this is the best advice you can get. the only thing there really is left to do is learn from the consequences of your actions and move on with your life, while hoping for the best.

Oh... no sorry, It was made clear that she knew but i am not sure she knows. In other words, she may have a false idea of the spectrum. Hope i didnt offend!? Was just trying to help with a few ideas that may allow her to understand. If she knows touching, prodding etc effects people greatly on the spectrum, then yes, maybe she is someone to try and keep a distance from.

Her boyfriend posted the story in the 4th post in this thread in the Social Skills section & I think it's really relevant for advice. viewtopic.php?t=340107