LONG READ: Need help with Aspie girl

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She already removed me though... so the only blocking i can do is in real life.

Ok then do that.

Do not beg for her attention in any way.

OP

Deep breaths. Strive for patience. She clearly sounds like the best thing you can do for her just now is to give her space, as already mentioned by another poster.

Whilst what she is doing /may do, going forward, isn't in your control, your own reactions/behaviours are...and might determine if there is a friendship to be had from all of this.

Stay calm. Be patient. Be pleasant. Do not (would be my suggestion) resort to petty behaviours n being spiteful etc. If she continues to ignore you, then let her. Just give her time to go thru whatever she is going thru.

I'm not saying that she will be back but whatever unsettled her may subside and she may start to talk again, at which point you may get to learn what triggered her. There's also the possibility that she may not talk to you again. There's really no way to tell at this stage.

Being powerless is never nice but unfortunately, that's where you're at. Just remember that how you deal will register with her, even if she's ignoring you, and "might" (stressing the might) determine whether there's any chance of salvaging anything from all of this.

Hope it works out OK for both of you.

I am entirely sure if the genders were reversed, some of you posters here would have a different tone in your replies.

You are replying as if he was the jerk one and she was the nice, innocent one, who him was bothering her.

Read again the thread, she was insulting him, being a total a**hole to him - calling him a boy in mans body and other names.

"Give her space?" seriously? As if he is the faulty now.
The right anwer is "leave this a**hole for good!" - not "oh give her space", "oh give her time".

Jeez.

Your post seems aimed at me.. So... Allow me... I rarely agree with your posts but give you the respect of making the posts you see fit because you are entitled to your opinion... It would be nice if you could afford others the same courtesy, no?

However, let's break this down...

Inciteful comment made to inflame that doesn't merit a response.



Did you actually read my post?



I read the thread before making my response.

"

No. You are reading into my post "blame" where I have attached none. Yes, give her space. Yes, I'm being serious.
She has AS. SOMETHING triggered her. This is why she is behaving as she is. Bad behaviour is bad behaviour and my personal opinion is that OP should seriously consider whether being friends with her is wise but OP is still willing to look past it (her behaviour) and wants to remain as friends, at the very least.

My post was made with that desire in mind.

You don't get to determine the "right answer" because you are not OP. And certainly I'm confused as to why you think it's acceptable to ridicule contributions made by others?

Being triggered as a jerk is not a AS thing, boofle.
It is not justified.

And it is obvious what triggered her: him appologizing too much to her and being vunerable around her - that what "triggered her".

I am familiar with this type; it is of that type of women who is incapable to see men as emotionally equal creatures - she is of that type who only sees "Doms" as real men, anything else is inferior in her eyes.

I bet she got annoyed by him playing yoga too.

Boo,

That she hasn't behaved well is clear to see. My initial instinct was much like yours so it's not that I don't understand where you are coming from.

Going by the OP she sounds like she would be really "difficult"...but I hesitate to advise according to my gut because we only have one side of the story and I try to be fair if I can (not always successfully) and OP still wants to know her.

Whatever the case, whatever the TRIGGERS (you may be right, or not re her triggers), OP is the one that will see her in his RL.

My advice still stands. Give her time. If she gets over whatever it is that bothered her OP will find out for sure from her what went wrong, and if she doesn't get over it, at least OP won't look bad because he acted in retaliatory manner.

Sometimes, that's no bad thing. imo.

Both your advice come down to the same working currently i just need to stop seeking contact even at the gym just flat out ignore her and i hope that like you say boofie she comes around.. however i know one guy friend of here who doesnt s**t talk who knows her as good as me should i ask him to figure out why shes mad at me or would that be a particuliar bad thing to do.

It is a bad idea. Don't give her anything that she can use against you.

Well im not saying anything to her untill she calms down if she calms down so i doubt she can use anything against me.

You can visually imagine she has a "target's manhood meter" - everything you do either increases or decreases her meter;
and usually once it decreases it hardly increases back.

The first blow was when you joined the yoga class - that's why she questioned you; you had a good answer that may have compensated this, but that made her more in watching mode nevertheless. If you think that only guys think that yoga is effiminate - then you're wrong.
Don't ever join yoga if you wanna impress a girl.

You're being apologetic everytime with her also decreased a lot of points.

Also your reaction to her suggestive pics (she was horny at that time) was also a negative blow to her meter; she probably wanted you to react more like a typical male "ie. wow you're so hot! I wanna meet you NOW".

The meter went so down that she longer sees you as a man, but as a boy (her own words) - and therefore she has no respect to you anymore.

I'm with boo on the pics thing.

Otherwise, my take on it is people tend to flee negativity. One thing I see you did wrong was tell her guys talk smack about her. That was not a need to know or want to know item.

Apologizing is OK if someone really thinks you've made a mistake and is deeply offended. The rule is apologize PROFUSELY, and do so at a greater level than is actually warranted. That will save you a lot of pain with people. Apologizing for stuff ALL the time diminishes the value of the apology, which, yes, does get really annoying. So save it for the big stuff.

Aside from that, I think you've done everything else right. What you did wrong was fairly minor in the grand scheme of things, so don't take it so hard. She doesn't want to be around you anymore, so do her one last favor by likewise cutting her out of your life as well. If you still want to do yoga, go for it. Just don't look at her or talk to her. Move on and meet more women.

I suggest making a habit of meeting up with several women strictly as friends. Really get to know some people and don't rush things. You're doing a lot of good things, I just think you need to do it more. It takes time to meet someone nice who's a good match for you.

I would say the best advice in this case is : "Let Time take its course."

You both are young. You both are going to grow up and experience new things.

Perhaps, in a few months or a couple of years, you'll be more suited to each other.

As of now, like the other posters stated, I wouldn't initiate contact.

UPDATE: so i encountered her per usual at the gym today like i said i would this time she didn't actively avoid me and she even went to sit next to me during her workout twice... also at some points she kinda attempted to seek eye contact, however i refused too make any back in any of these ways

I don't know if i should let her hang a little bit longer or actually re engage with her, letting her hang too long in guilt might make her mad again as it would with ''normal'' people or will it be different for people like her with aspergers?

Talk to her about the weather.