Men's Looks Matter More Than Women Admit, Study Shows

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Let's put your 'Mother nature' theory into test.

Would you replace your husband with someone else who's far better provide (let's say this latter wants you so bad)?

Not all woman are gold-diggers. That's a fact.

I believe biology says that women usually like men who are secure, rather than complaining all the time.

Some women, though, like to "heal" men--these women might like vulnerable men.

That's biologically-based, too. It's the maternal instinct.

gold diggers are a result of a legal social construct, usually in states with f****d up divorce laws. there is nothing inherent beyond the individual beyond that.

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Don't start posting sexist crap.

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QFT

i was referring to mate selection.

And you selected your mate as husband because he was the best provider you could have back then?

A gold digger is someone who marries only for money because their priority in life is the material. A woman concerned with finding a financially stable mate who can support a family is not necessarily a gold digger. It's a matter of practicality that a woman who wishes to live a traditionally female role as mother and care giver to her children and husband needs a husband who can fill the traditionally male role of provider for his family, much as it is a matter of practicality for a man who wished to have children to find a woman young enough to reproduce. In most situations, even women who want financially stable men, and men who want young women also place a lot of value in the character of the other person.

At times, gold digging is hidden behind this pretext though, there's a fine line there..... for instance if for her the money is a lot more important than everything else in the man and would leave him in a tick at the very first financial hurdle, then YES, I consider this woman a subtle type of gold digger too. In real life, not all good diggers are the obvious hollywood type, the subtle ones are way more common.

/anyway enough about GD, let's go back to topic.

I wonder if this is one of those social construct issues. Women are expected to be nice and it's nicer to say I'm looking for x, y and z rather than looks. There's a lot of dancing around socially to what women say. It's confusing for women, so I can imagine it bewildered men lol.

Im going to assume that men talking amongst themselves are ok with saying they want a good looking woman.

That is correct, Hurtloam. Very much correct.

It's hard for me to imagine someone saying that looks don't matter at all in mate selection. I wouldn't say looks are at the top of my list, but if I'm not attracted to something physical in a person and if a person is not "my type" I just won't date them as I wouldn't like to have sex with them and obviously most people would expect sex as a part of romantic relationship... I just wouldn't go to bed with a person who I'm not aesthetically attracted to... that would just be unpleasant.
In an asexual relationship I think I could develop romantic feelings towards someone who's not my type, but I'd rather have someone who is
I don't care if that sounds superficial... I've heard men saying similar things about women so many times in my life, like "yeah she's nice, but UGH I can't imagine her in bed with me" or way way worse...
Obviously there were times when I wasn't someone's type and it didn't bother me much. I guess when we're all wrinkly, incontinent oldies who'd rather play bingo than get naked with someone it won't matter anymore

Truthfully, I wish sex wasn't seen as being an obligatory part of any relationship.

I would enjoy it, yes. But If I truly love someone, and the person loves me, I just might think that sex is not totally necessary. If I'm in a situation where my lover doesn't desire sex, I could always masturbate.

If a guy had all the traits a woman was looking for, but she would not date him because he was poor, then she is placing money above everything else.

I don't have a problem with this, it's just the reality in 98% of cases, to deny it is silly imo. I am not angry or bitter about it, even when I used the word gold digger(which I only used because previous posters did).
But this is why I don't want a relationship, because it is frankly just a business transaction, and I don't find anything about that transaction compelling, even if I had all the money in the world.

There's more of us guys than girls on dating sites, which means more of us to pick from.
Which means we have more competition, more criteria to meet..and so forth.


I don't think the same can be said about real life encounters, though.
In that case it depends where you're going, who you're meeting up with and why.

So is wanting a younger woman. When I encountered men my age on dating sites and saw they would not date women our age, and asked why, they would inevitably talk about wanting children. But most men don't want more than 3 children and a woman my age can reasonably give a man 3 children without medical intervention. When I point this out, they cite an increased risk of birth defects such as Down's Syndrome, while it increases with maternal age is low to begin with. At my age, it's still less than 3%. In fact, the odds of other birth defects decrease with maternal age, but the odds of schizophrenia and autism (of all types) increase with paternal age such that sperm banks cap the age of male donors at around the same age as egg banks cap the age of female donors. If a woman just wants money and a man just wants youth, they should just say so, in my opinion.



Again the same goes for men who want youth and beauty. In the U.S. men leave wives who become disfigured or ill with a serious, prolonged illness at 6 times the rate that women leave husbands who become disfigured or ill, and women who have been scared or disfigured from breast cancer find that this causes most men to reject them.

It would be nice if these gold diggers and youth/beauty diggers couldn't hide their motives, but unfortunately such is not the nature of the world. But it's nothing to get upset about. I was reading 1001 Arabian Nights recently. The stories date back centuries and are filled with all the relationship and social injustices that we lament about on here today, and I imagine these facets of humanity will continue long after all of us here are gone as well.