Boyfriend won't make an effort

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Guys, thank you so much for your responses. You really made me think. I don't know if I want to stay with him for the long run, however he did open up to me yesterday. He actually cried because he telt so ashamed of him self. Now that I know what went on in his mind I feel a lot better.

Stay vigilant. Manipulative or abusive people often cry or play victim to force you to sympathize for them which makes them trick you into thinking you're wrong.

l wil definitely stay vigilant, thanks.

Men usually don't cry easily; so I don't think he's faking it.

Sounds a bit like my ex-boyfriend... this kind of relationship can be so draining and frustrating. I also considered he might have been depressed, talked to him about it, but he refused any treatment or counselling.

He wanted to move into my place very fast, but I refused and encouraged him to try and start independent life on his own first (he lived with his mates in a single room and was using them for everything - from paying bills to driving him around everywhere) and then we could think about moving somewhere else together. I offered to help him with everything - finding a house, job, giving him some of my house things, kitchen equipment... Nah. He didn't even lift a finger, became even more pushy with moving-in idea so I broke up with him when I couldn't handle that anymore.

Hopefully your boyfriend is just genuinely depressed not an entitled, passive, lazy dick...

There are passive-aggressive "vulnerable" narcissists who use different strategies to extract all they want from people and they use pity and crying when their comfy position is challenged in any way. They can fake illness and misrepresent their difficulties and it's soooo easy to fall for that. That softens their partner and they can start "working on them" quicker... and they're back to their comfortable life.

I think one should be very careful about labeling people as narccisists, especially people who are depressed.

Anyways, this relationship is dead.

You're right Sly, most people are lazy and dysfunctional with their home when single, and most people become much less lazy when in love.

The OPs boyfriend honestly isn't that much more lazy than the average single male in his early to late 20s.

Its amazing how lazy and disgusting single.men ad women can get and I find it disgusting people actually encourage it, with young women making jokes about how being single = dont have to shave legs or armpits, can leave uncleaned dildo and used tampons lying around their apartment, don't have to use deodorant anymore.

F*cking disgusting.

Single men are no better, telling me about how they can leave socks or shirts with their c*m lying around and stuff.

Especially so many of the of the in my family.

Their houses are dirty and disgusting even when they're in a relationship. Dust everywhere, no rubbish bins, not even any handwash or bar of soap in the bathroom, horrible amount of dirty clothes lying around on the floor, etc. Yet they all get reldtiondhips easily while i live in the cleanest house in the whole family thanks to me and my parents.