Why are women so triggered by the friendzone?

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XFilesGeek
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11 Sep 2017, 3:47 pm

There are men who definitively throw a fit over being in the "friendzone."


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SilverBoltsisWmax
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11 Sep 2017, 4:06 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
There are men who definitively throw a fit over being in the "friendzone."


Well to be fair the friendzone is a joke that's why.



sly279
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11 Sep 2017, 6:13 pm

They guy being friend zoned probably doesn't want to be friends with a woman who loves but will never love him back. I certainly don't. It's emotional painful on a daily basis. I'd rather be told they don't find me attractive and move on



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11 Sep 2017, 6:18 pm

^ that's exactly what they're saying by putting you in the friendzone.
Only you're supposed to recognise that there's no chance for you and move on yourself.
That way there are supposedly no hard feelings.


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kraftiekortie
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11 Sep 2017, 6:28 pm

It's not a very nice feeling to know that you are in someone's "friendzone." Trust me, I have been "friendzoned" many times!

And so have basically most guys and gals.

But I have to live with it, and move on.



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11 Sep 2017, 6:37 pm

I am not sure how common this really is...I mean maybe, but I certainly would not do any of that because a guy says they were friendzoned by a girl they were interested in romantically...unless they act sexist/misogynistic about it. I mean of course the friendzone exists and not much that can be done about that as if someone does not have romantic feelings for a person then at most that person can be a friend but nothing more.

Is this something that happened to you, or something you have observed, and are we talking online, IRL or both? I mean I would say women who attack a guy just because he's disappointed about being friendzoned maybe have some kind of chip on their shoulder...maybe some of them have had really bad experiences with guys they frienzoned who turned around and abused them for it. Either way kind of a bold assumption that just because a guy expresses some disappointment he must be a sexist misogynist.


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kraftiekortie
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11 Sep 2017, 6:38 pm

Women can be "friendzoned," too.



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11 Sep 2017, 6:46 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Women can be "friendzoned," too.


True.


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11 Sep 2017, 6:55 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's not a very nice feeling to know that you are in someone's "friendzone." Trust me, I have been "friendzoned" many times!

And so have basically most guys and gals.

But I have to live with it, and move on.


Sure, I have also experienced individual people I wanted to sex up having no interest in it, too. Neither you nor I set about making a map of the phenomenon. We didn't embed a bunch of tired old sexist ideas into the map and generalize it to apply to all women, as though one could accurately predict and become what all women want. We didn't make millions selling courses to an army of ethically sketchy devotees, either.

That's why I don't promote the use of the term. It seems valid on the surface, but comes laden with bad assumptions.

ETA, I did sort of try to make a map, but then I heard the Genesis song Counting Out Time and realized that people require more than a map.


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kraftiekortie
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11 Sep 2017, 7:06 pm

I agree about the assumptions.



jrjones9933
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11 Sep 2017, 7:08 pm

Raleigh wrote:
^ that's exactly what they're saying by putting you in the friendzone.
Only you're supposed to recognise that there's no chance for you and move on yourself.
That way there are supposedly no hard feelings.


What fun would that be? ;-)


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Raleigh
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11 Sep 2017, 7:10 pm

Don't really understand the fedora reference in the OP.


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sly279
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11 Sep 2017, 7:12 pm

Raleigh wrote:
^ that's exactly what they're saying by putting you in the friendzone.
Only you're supposed to recognise that there's no chance for you and move on yourself.
That way there are supposedly no hard feelings.

No that's what they means when they say let's just be friends

Friend zone is where the woman you like keeps asking to hangout with you and do stuff with you but just as friends



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11 Sep 2017, 7:27 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
It's not a very nice feeling to know that you are in someone's "friendzone." Trust me, I have been "friendzoned" many times!

And so have basically most guys and gals.

But I have to live with it, and move on.


Sure, I have also experienced individual people I wanted to sex up having no interest in it, too. Neither you nor I set about making a map of the phenomenon. We didn't embed a bunch of tired old sexist ideas into the map and generalize it to apply to all women, as though one could accurately predict and become what all women want. We didn't make millions selling courses to an army of ethically sketchy devotees, either.

That's why I don't promote the use of the term. It seems valid on the surface, but comes laden with bad assumptions.

ETA, I did sort of try to make a map, but then I heard the Genesis song Counting Out Time and realized that people require more than a map.


Good to know how high above you feel, over the poor guys who buy those programs.

Also good to know, that basing your perspective off of 50 years worth of research and observation, is completely stupid, while basing it off of a genesis song is not. They did make some good tunes after all...



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11 Sep 2017, 7:52 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
There are men who definitively throw a fit over being in the "friendzone."


But see, in the mindset of some posters here when men are hysterical and irrational it's perfectly justified, but when people who lack a Y chromosome do it, it's clearly due to their inability to be reasonable and absolutely unjustified. Just don't call them sexist or misogynistic or they'll have a meltdown. :wink:


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11 Sep 2017, 8:12 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
It's not a very nice feeling to know that you are in someone's "friendzone." Trust me, I have been "friendzoned" many times!

And so have basically most guys and gals.

But I have to live with it, and move on.


Sure, I have also experienced individual people I wanted to sex up having no interest in it, too. Neither you nor I set about making a map of the phenomenon. We didn't embed a bunch of tired old sexist ideas into the map and generalize it to apply to all women, as though one could accurately predict and become what all women want. We didn't make millions selling courses to an army of ethically sketchy devotees, either.

That's why I don't promote the use of the term. It seems valid on the surface, but comes laden with bad assumptions.

ETA, I did sort of try to make a map, but then I heard the Genesis song Counting Out Time and realized that people require more than a map.

funeralxempire wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
There are men who definitively throw a fit over being in the "friendzone."


But see, in the mindset of some posters here when men are hysterical and irrational it's perfectly justified, but when people who lack a Y chromosome do it, it's clearly due to their inability to be reasonable and absolutely unjustified. Just don't call them sexist or misogynistic or they'll have a meltdown. :wink:


These are exactly what I'm talking about. I plainly said in my original post that "guy" didn't say or even hint at anything sexist or wanting only sex or feeling entitled to anything. Just that he had been friendzoned. And then you two perfectly prove my point by IGNORING ALL OF THAT and talking about how sexist selfish and unreasonable "guy" is. This is why it's impossible to have an intelligent conversation about this. The unintelligent people have already set the status quo. They just have to make sure nobody ever challenges it.