Slys dating site advice help thread.

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Someone suggested in the Wall Street Journal that married couples should strongly consider a divorce if they have issues that are made worse by the current divide and conquer political leadership. The WSJ "group think" is that nothing will stop the current leadership from trying to pull people apart and create disagreement, so you can expect this to go on for years.

In many ways, the political views of my wife and myself mesh.

However, we do have conflicts pertaining to "philosophy of life."

Why do you think men are more accepting then women? Most men I see and know like hunting and shooting and hikes and camping but their wife’s or gf hate all that stuff. Similar men play games while their wife has no interest. But gamer girls require men be into it to date them.

Couldn’t she just hunt with her fiends. I don’t care others hunt.

Sly, you are really over-thinking this.

Kraftie is right - 21 is definitely not too young for you.

As long as a girl is 18 or older, then it's all good.

Also stop worrying about whether she'll like you or not.

She already likes you.

If you're not into hunting, she will understand.

To her, you are a cute guy that she finds interesting.

You like animals and she does too - so talk to her about horses.

Relax, smile and have fun.

And things will open up for you naturally.

Some lady in another thread said people should only date their age and older. No one objected to it. and then my other thread people were harming on me for liking a 19 old saying It’s wrong cause women aren’t mature enough til later in life I guess.

She didn’t message me back so she didn’t really like me. I highly suspect the few women who liked me did so by mistake. It’s quite easy tand swip right on accident and there’s no undo. I’ve been liked by women who’s profiles and requirements makes clear I’m not the type of guy allowed to talk to them.

I’m not super int hunting I’d prefer w girl who doesn’t fish or hunt but as long as she doesn’t make me go or tough me while smelly or covered in blood it’s ok. I get upset after killing insects so I don’t think I’d be ok killing a deer that I didn’t need to kill. I can buy meat in stores. I understand meat is needed and that means killing. But there’s lots of meat available most people don’t need to go kill animals. But that’s get the tradition and population control. I could not be with someone who does it solely for sport.
Killing shouldn’t be enjoyment.

Here’s the ad I just posted since the lady I’m talking to reposted hers which seems bad sign.

https://eugene.craigslist.org/m4w/d/loo ... 76413.html

It's not going to work. You're putting women on the defensive already.

But maybe you'll get lucky--who knows?

I certainly wouldn't answer an ad that's that defensive.

How about something like:
"Romantic outdoorsy sci-fi geek, seeking similar..."

Followed by:

I'm romantic, silly/playful, loyal and kind hearted. I like playing video games, watching tv while cuddling, as well as going for walks, hikes, or going camping in the woods. I've really enjoyed vacations on the coast since being a kid. The ocean is so relaxing. I'm also a bit of a sci-fi geek.

You might also include, not into hunting (as positively as possible, less is more!) Spent some time in college, currently employed.
Try to make it positive, concise, clear. Leave out negativity altogether if possible.

Other than that, I don't know what else to say, really. I've noticed from my own experiences that my social difficulties are just as real on the internet as they are in real life.

How am I putting women defensive? I’m just trying to find nonlife women. All the ads I see and all the replies I’ve gotten from past adds are women with their life together who don’t want anything to do with me as I apparently don’t have my life together.
As I said I see tons of min wage women and women on the bus how else do I find them?

I’ve done so in the past. I get replies but as soon as they find out I work retail and take the bus they block me, I figure why waste both our times. I need to separate out the loser women who don’t habe their life’s together like me. I need to find either an unemployed woman or one who also only works part time, both of which need to feel worthless so as to feel ok dating a loser like me instead of dating up. I dont know how else to find them, all the ads are from women with their life together I don’t even get why such successful women are even in Craigslist as it’s like the last ditch place to try to find love. If dating sites were more successful I wouldn’t be using Craigslist

Also I’m really not outdoorsy I prefer inside more. I just enjoy occasional hikes and camping trips. Outdoorsry people seem to spend every waking second outdoors doing some extreme physically activity

I think you should change your ad, Sly. I really do.

Most women wouldn't like what you said. It would get them upset.

Not many people "have their life together." But they don't stay stuck in one place.

What you said implies that both of you will "stay in one place," and not improve.

What's making you upset, anyway?

I think Elbowgrease has given good advice here.

He's a blue-collar guy. He's not a pretentious guy. He doesn't have all his crap together (like I don't have all my crap together).

But the ad you put in.....probably wouldn't get many responses---except by people who really want to stay in the "same place" and suffer "in the same place." They don't want to try to resolve their problems.

My ability to advise is probably pretty limited, really.
Mostly, you have to stay positive, and be patient. And probably try to avoid fairy tale expectations.

If you're writing an ad or making a profile, with the intention of meeting someone. It's kind of like a resume and interviews. Everybody knows that everybody has problems, of some kind. That's not where you want to start (unless for some reason you just have to, ethically). Nobody totally has their life together, period.
Try to write down some lists, maybe even try to come up with somewhere between 5-10 items for each one.
Stuff like, what you like to do, what you don't like to do, deal breakers, what you hope to find in a relationship, what you think you could bring to a relationship, positive things that you've got going for you (you have a job. That's positive. Doesn't matter what it is, really. I think I remember reading that you've been to school. Do you just ride the bus? Or do you ride the bus because you are concerned about the environment and find it to be more economically viable?)
Kind of like outlining a paper, get your materials together, organized, then start writing.
Write up what you think the perfect first date is. If you actually get to go on that date, don't be a perfectionist about it! Just enjoy it.
And if you start talking to someone and you like each other, be ok with it if it doesn't go beyond being friends. Don't try to make it something it's not. Maybe you meet the woman of your dreams. Maybe you meet your new best friend. Be ok with it not working out.
It sucks. I know, in my own way.
I'm an eccentric hermit that can be the most unbelievably depressing person to be around sometimes. I don't meet people. I went three years between my last two girlfriends, it's been about a year and a half since the last (which was a disaster of a relationship). But I'm starting to feel better about being alone. So it's kind of a weird, new phase for me to be someone other than the guy pining for the love of his life to come along.
It would probably be wise to seek the advice of women, as well.
And as far as where to find people in the real world, and how to approach them when you find them. I really have no idea. Maybe reading at a coffee shop, or something.

I think that's all I've got right now. I hope it doesn't look like some giant crazy babble rant.


And in the meantime, try not to dwell on it. It will only make it worse.

What? Do you think that 70 old planned to work at burger king for 50 years?
Lots of people are stuck where they are and work dead end jobs(it’s why there’s a saying for it)

I’ll always work min wage part time it’s all I can do. So no moving up for me. I’ll always live with my family unless they move out since I can’t ever live with a gf if I ever even got one. I’ve been in this situation for 10 years and it unlikely to change.

That I’m worthless, dumb, and unloveable . That I’m a loser who’s life is t ever going be together. There no 9-5 $25 an hour job in my future. Every that stuff doesn’t happen to permanently disabled men who can’t work over 25 hours a week.

Whys it so wrong to stay in one place? I like my city I don’t want to move or travel.

Having your life together is simple as :good job, car and own place. So it seems most people do have their life together. Apparently old super stupid cause I don’t have my life together:( so I lack intelligence as only a unintelligent person would be poor and disabled.

Sure another ad might get more responses but it won’t get any dates. Most Women flat out don’t a loser guy so as soon as they find out my job it ends the conversation. They tell me and then block me. I need to find loser women. So time to just be out front. Avoid superficial women all together rather then getting attached to them over weeks just to be blocked out of their life after they find out I work retail( they don’t even know I’m on disability and working part time, I’m sure they’d run away faster)

At this point I'm of the belief we're all blind and leading the blind.