Any advice for my current romantic life?
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
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Posts: 11,185
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Nearly 3 years ago though I took up martial/boxing for a while and got my face messed up/injuries which I do kinda regret doing looking back on it
Any advice for my current predicament?
Wait, so being perceived as creepy or as a stalker, isn't based on behaviour, it's based on your looks?
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goldfish21
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Age: 43
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I'd say both.
Certain behaviours & body language can convey a level of creepiness, for sure.
But so can someone's appearance. I'm sure we can all agree that we could look at dozens of pictures of people and pick out the ones we would label as "creepy" looking, even though it's just a picture & we haven't observed them in person to see what their behaviour is like.
Further, it's also just sort of "sensed," as a "vibe." I'm sure you've gotten a "creepy vibe," from someone as they entered a room or passed you in the street.
Whether my facial expressions, body language, appearance, or "vibe," I believe I've experienced all of the above in real life. If I haven't done what I do to keep the best balance I can and minimize my ASD symptoms, the first impression reactions I get from people in a social situation are a little.. standoffish, and I'll get the sense that they get the sense that I'm a little.. "off," and I feel like the vibe I'm putting out there isn't what I want it to be. I do what I do, I feel better, my behaviour's better and better received, I look better (largely because I care more about my appearance/realize it's social importance, but also, I believe, because my facial expressions are much more normal and natural, eye contact better etc.) & I'm well received as if the "vibe," I'm putting out there to others is a whole lot more charismatic than it is creepy.
So, it's lots of things, and I've experienced them from both sides and then had the opportunity to reflect on them in hindsight and learn from them after parties and events and things. Basically, though, what I've really learned is not to be lazy or complacent and think/feel/assume that I'm Ok as I am and ready to go be social. Whether I think I need to do it or not, I know I really ought to do all the things I do with diet/medicine/science etc to treat my symptoms in order to put my very best foot forward whenever I know I'm going to immerse myself into a social situation where I want to be well received and "click," with people in the best ways I know I can.
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No
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,185
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Nearly 3 years ago though I took up martial/boxing for a while and got my face messed up/injuries which I do kinda regret doing looking back on it
Any advice for my current predicament?
Perhaps instead of going to a bar you could try going to a barcade. There are several your area.
_________________
The days are long, but the years are short
Nearly 3 years ago though I took up martial/boxing for a while and got my face messed up/injuries which I do kinda regret doing looking back on it
Any advice for my current predicament?
Perhaps instead of going to a bar you could try going to a barcade. There are several your area.
How many single women would you really expect to find there?
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,185
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Nearly 3 years ago though I took up martial/boxing for a while and got my face messed up/injuries which I do kinda regret doing looking back on it
Any advice for my current predicament?
Perhaps instead of going to a bar you could try going to a barcade. There are several your area.
How many single women would you really expect to find there?
Remember that, other than fighting games such as Street Fighter, arcade games are designed to be playable by someone who's never played that particular game before. That's perfect for casual gamers. A lot of girls are casual gamers (not all, my second girlfriend was a pretty serious gamer).
Girls would go to a place like that not looking to master the game, as you would with Call of Duty online multiplayer, girls would go to a place like that as a primarily social venture. The games merely add some novelty to their socializing. That's why it's in a bar.
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Jamesy
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Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,589
Location: Near London United Kingdom
Last night a 'drunk' girl said to me "I am not giving you my handbag too you I don't trust You, your a weirdo" and then she gave it too my male friend.
This is the same girl who said too me back in early September "come on you must be a little bit gay". When she made the gay comment that was the first time I interacted with her and I guess I made a bad impression
