Preventing social defeat

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Can you arrange to meet up without those buttinskys being there?

Men use the term cockblocker instead - probably seen as vulgar by women.

Yes, kind of... But it would be good to know how to tackle the buttinskys, too, rather than avoid them. Because sometimes they're unavoidable.

Cockblocker is so spot on!

You maybe can't. Best thing is to get to know each other better and then you'll have your own relationship which is stronger than anything try can do.

People will always but in, its just a fact. There are only way to deal with it that I can think of.

~ One is to call them out on it and ask them to stop, which will make you look like a real jerk because most of them are just trying to be funny, and probably don't realize that it affects you more than someone else. Plus it will make it very obvious to everyone how important the person is to you that they are butting in about and it may make it weird before you can get it off the ground. If they are the type skilled at making fun they will turn a move like this around almost certainly and make you look like the jerk.

~ You could ignore it and try not to take it to heart. This sucks too, especially if they are not only making you feel uncomfortable, but also making it harder for you to be with someone you want to be with.

~ Probably the best way is to think of some thing to say that will point out to them that they need to stop without really calling them out specifically. Some sort of dry slightly sarcastic thing that would put their behavior in the spotlight as being bullyish without acting like it bothers you all that much. People will back off if they realize you will stand up for yourself, very quickly. The trick is to find a way to do it where you don't humiliate yourself as well, or make them look like the victim when you explode at them out of the blue.

If you still are in any way attracted to this person it seems to me like this is the perfect time do go for it. The fact that you quit a job without saying good buy is not a thing you need to continue feeling bad about at all. Ask him if he wants to hang out and then you can be around him without those people to mess it up.

Thanks for the thoughts! Did you every try this yourself?

I like these people when they're not little monsters, so it would be hard for me to do that. But I'll sleep on it Thanks!