Why would any women want me?

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a good attitude won’t solve his flaws but a few of said flaws are permanent, and theres nothing he can do about them (low iq? saliva leak?) so what else is one to do, there besides learn to live with it.

he could try harder, i think, to fix what’s wrong with him physically but attitude can’t be totally discounted - its one of the biggest factors that determines whether or not someone wants to be around someone else IMO.

Certainly don’t seem to be any women who think their flawed and would date flawed men. They all seem to think very highly of themselves.

Annoying isn’t flawed.
Plenty of normal people are annoying that’s their personality. They aren’t flawed. They aren’t defective.

you have noticed all your flaws.
that is something that counts against you to begin with.

it shows you are self appraising which is not the hallmark of an delightfully naive person.

there is such a thing as "the homunculus effect"
here is an homunculus representation



it shows the relative sensitivity of various parts of the body by the brain.

it is much more complex than a diagram however.

it causes one to focus intensely on what they feel is protuberant with respect to societal appraisal.

anyway, if you were blessed with automatic "could give a f**k'd-ness" attitude, then no one would really be derailed by any of it.

anyway, i hope you find your way out of your miserable situation.

You'd be surprised. I've known a few girls who thought rather lowly of themselves. Of course none of them had issues finding boyfriends, but they had really low self-esteems regardless.

Wait, so what does the statue have to do with not giving a f**k? I thought it was just meant to mean our hands and lips are more sensitive to touch than other parts of our bodies. Or is there some deeper meaning I'm not getting?

dating "up" isn't exclusively the realm of females, sly. it seems men and women alike would love to have a partner at least as equally attractive-or far more-than them, with the status to back it up (perhaps less so with men?)

i feel it's a matter of honesty and setting realistic expectations. it seems this gets more commonplace as you grow older. still, can you really blame them?



"annoying" is a detriment when it prevents you from getting what you need.

i cannot say whether or not it's a defect, but personally i'd rather stay away from more annoying people. because... they're annoying, and i'm sure i'm not alone in this. on top of that it's a very subjective descriptor. sometimes annoying can b endearing, cute, attractive, irritating.

if you were able to get everything you want in life with an "annoying" personality, and were satisfied with it, i would not say you have a flaw.

The difference is that well off men are willing to "date down." Women don't do that. If they make a lot of money they want to spend it on houses, trips, and fine dining.

Social media may have a lot to do with this. Guys blew it by not pulling their fair share in relationships once they got married. And women shared their tales of woe on the Internet.

I know a lot of them think they aren’t pretty when they are but i dont know many who’d say they worthless or subhuman. All the ones on dating sites and Facebook seem think they’re gods gift to men.

Yep. It's quite extraordinary how often pretty girls think they're ugly while ugly girls think they're pretty.

Dunning-Kreuger effect of dating, perhaps?

^ Exactly!!

All my flaws are permanent. Thats the probem. Learn to live with it is hard, not funny to live your whole life alone and know that you have no chance to get out of it, it makes me sad to think about it.

I tried as hard as i could for many years. My flaws are so many and so severe that it does not matter how good my attitude are, people will not ignore my flaws only because i go around and think that i am Brad Pitt....with your logic i can go around and belive that i am a cat and therefore i will be a cat....this is not possible...you have to be realistic.



I am aware of that.

But women who are 2-1-0 do not want to date guys like me.




It has nothing to do with my attitude. My flaws are real, what women would want to date a guy who has all those flaws i listed?




What?? No!



"Could have", what is the chances of that, 1 in million? Whats the point of even trying when its such a small chance of sucess?




I give money to the poor. Thats it.



This is 1 in million chance. Pure luck. And he probaly has money and a fantastic personality, i have neither.



I will not show a picture in the forum, but i can show in PM, so if someone wants to see me just send a PM.

Trust me, i am that ugly. Why else would i socially isolate myself for 12 years? Nobody does that without any good reason.

Yes my skin is terrible, i tried all kinds of stuff to make it better, but its not enough to make it decent.

Yes we have deodorant with baking soda in Sweden, it sure has an effect but not enough.

Apple cider vinegar for dandruff i have not tried, will try it, but i guess it will not work...

Yes i know what do to against acne, but its not really helping.

I need to fix my teeths with the dentist, but its way too expansive. And that kind of tooth-pase you mentioned does not fix it totally.

Apple Cider Vinegar (natural, unpasteurized, organic, unfiltered, with the "mother") is great for treating dandruff & other skin fungus/bacterial infections. The acetic acid helps kill the bad stuff, and probiotics in it bring a better balance to surface bacteria by also helping kill off bad bacteria.

I USED TO get terrible dandruff as a kid. I used head & shoulders shampoo for years. I can't remember how old I was, but I remember at one point at maybe 12-14 years of age getting REALLY aggressive with a hairbrush/comb and really scraping/brushing away the flakes from my scalp until my scalp was alllllmost raw. I'd continue using my head & shoulders (pyrithione zinc shampoo) regularly. I also used Tea Tree shampoos for some time as well, and would switch back and forth. And then would put straight tea tree oil (a few drops) in my hair (massaged to my scalp) after a good shower/brush scrub etc. Patience and persistence paid off. I haven't had bad dandruff for more than half my life now, a few flakes here and there but nothing out of the ordinary at all unlike the "snow," that used to fall from my head onto my clothes. It's entirely possible to kill off the fungus/bacteria that causes even the worst dandruff - it just takes daily persistence over weeks or many months to chip away at it until it's eventually been beat. Same goes for any dermatological fungal or bacterial infection, really.


As for acne/bad skin.. mine also used to be much worse than it is. It's not flawless, but it is SIGNIFICANTLY better than it used to be. It's said that the health of our skin mirrors the health of our intestines and that if you have constant skin breakouts that you should eat a much cleaner diet, a lot more fibre and things that will cleanse and heal your intestinal tract. I've done these things and my skin is much better off for it. When I slip up in my diet a bit, my skin starting to get breakouts is a good barometer of that and let's me know I need to get back on track with my cleaner eating habits.

is that code word for nematodes?

thanks for overlooking my misstated sentence "could give a f**k'd-ness". you correctly identified that i meant "couldn't"

anyway, the homunculus is indeed a representation of sensitivity to touch, but i had a discussion with my psychiatrist wherein i was enlightened about the other considerations pertaining to the homunculus.

there are efferent and afferent neurons, and they are connected to complete a circuit.

afferent neurons relay impulses from sensations to the brain, and efferent neurons relay impulses back to the site of the afferent origination.

so, the representation of the "statue" is a pictogram that shows the system in "normal" individuals.

when one receives more afferent signals from areas of the "statue" that are shown as diminutive, then one feels a sense of imbalance in that area.

for example, if one feels more afference from the leg parts, they may incorrectly believe they have fat legs.

2 major problems arise from a distortion of the homunculus state in our brains.

1 is my health anxiety. i have a fixation on my right front incisor tooth somehow becoming loose for no apparent reason.
i feel if it is loose maybe twice per hour.
it is always rock solid and i am relieved, but i feel the area so intensely i have to recheck it very often.

my doctor said it is because i have fixated on that area and the homonculus state is disproportionate in that particular area, and it has become disproportionate due to the energy infused into that connection path by my fixation.
it becomes difficult to ignore.

2. dysmorphia (which i do not have) is also apparently caused by a similar imbalance. an extremely thin emaciated anorexic may feel that they are still fat, and that belief is not dispelled even by what they see in the mirror.

so someone who infuses a lot of energy into thinking about the parts of their body they find displeasing, will compound it until it is impossible to ignore.

as far as the OP is concerned, he fobs off all consolation (which is understandable), but there is a kind of spiritual stench that surrounds people who are wallowing in their sense of inadequacy.

it shows that you are beaten. you lost the fight against your adversity.

i have never been physically remarkable, so i have never experienced societal reaction to serious physical disfigurements.

a seriously lopsided face or some other unattractive thing may indeed be a hard reality to conquer, i so i am not an ideal person to provide council for his plight.

i will say however, that i have seen some seriously ugly men with very beautiful girlfriends, and these men seem to be quite confident and unconcerned about their appearance.

i also have never been able to be intimate with any girl because it is just too much for my brain.
too close.
too personal.
too little oxygen in the air they exhale when my lips are close to hers.

but when i did have a sex drive, i just wanted to have sex with hot sluts who were not in it for the relationship.

i never needed intimacy or companionship, but the OP has a more romantic outlook and may suffer more if it is unfulfilled.