Wants to come over on first date?

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Loner269
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09 Jan 2018, 2:25 pm

You are the opposite of me.. I would just have sex with her and be done with it.

The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Jan 2018, 2:27 pm

OP, I had sex with my current gf on the 2nd date.
And there was sex talk before the 1st date; we are fine lovers now.

FunkyPunky, you (and someone else) complained before that women always lose interest on first date. That they don’t feel “Chemistry” - I will tell you a secret: “Chemistry” is their gentle wordin of sexual arousal.

Do you know why they lose interest? do you want to hear it? I will tell you: because a woman won’t feel aroused while you two are sitting and having a coffee (even if you are smart and talking smart things) unless you are hot looking like Ben Affelk or Ryan Gosling. Otherwise.... down there, in her pants, nothing will move.

In my expetience, the most guaranteed way to assure “Chemistry” is early good sex.

ALL my first dates that started in a traditional and “civil” way have failed, despite them being very responsive in conversations.

And ALL the dates which happened after a sexual encounter (some eveb started with simply sexual talk online or on the phone) ended up as relationships/flings. Do you know why? Because you already become her fantasy subject even before dating her for real - the “Chemistry” toward you has already been released.

First Dates after sex/sexual talk are very different than the First Dates without any sexual thing before it; the latter case girls would seek for the slightest thing in you to judge you and dismiss you; if you are not hot as a celeb shr won’t fantasize about you, not even for a fraction of moment.
While in former case, and if the sexual experience was amazing; she already sees you as a sexual being, you’re already a real fantasy for her; and she would be way more likely to overlook your faults.

Here; I have finally exposed my secret! I have finally exposed my discovry of the female nature. Muhahah.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 09 Jan 2018, 2:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Closet Genious
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09 Jan 2018, 2:36 pm

That's actually true boo, sexual chemistry is incredibly important, if not foundational to any sort of relationship.

As a guy with trust issues though, there's not alot of comfort in doing sheet gymnastics within an hour of meeting...

Piobaire
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09 Jan 2018, 2:43 pm

Quote:

Should I be worried?

No; you should relax, treat each other with compassion, courtesy, and respect...and enjoy yourselves.

hale_bopp
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09 Jan 2018, 2:56 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

This is definitely true. If you can freely talk about sex, the awkwardness is gone.

The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Jan 2018, 3:28 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

This is definitely true. If you can freely talk about sex, the awkwardness is gone.

So you see, men?

Come, gather around my camp fire, and let me give you a universal advice: all the typical dating advice you receive from the ladies here, collect them in one bag, and throw it out of the window to make it food for the feral dogs.

One first date experience that happened with the girl who's about my age (not the current gf) who became my fling before my current gf.

I flirted her online, and the online/voice communication then went from extreme sexual innuendo to....real sexual talk, after that wild night we set up a 'date', the date was in a Karaoke pub with her friends.

I went there, and took a place next to her, the singing was loud, she whispered in my ear "You're so cute and naughty, are you like with all girls?" - and I was like "Nah, only with the very hot girls", while looking in her eyes and lips - she smiled and she squeezed my tight under the table and whispered back "If you keep staring at me like that I will eat you".
After her friends left she dragged me to the WC (luckily it was unisex there) and made out inside.

We f****d for months later until I discovered...well...that she was married with someone living abroad and barely in contact. But that's a different story, and such experiences didn't just happened only with married women.

Now tell me, do you think the traditional gentleman coffee first date would end up like this? Never, it would bore her, like the 1000000 guys who bored her before you - no matter how smart and interesting and nice you were - her p**** will remain dry and therefore it ends up with a failure.

DancingQueen
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09 Jan 2018, 3:39 pm

FunkyPunky wrote:

I had a date set up to go see a movie tomorrow. She just texted me to ask if I had the new Spiderman movie. I told her I did and she asked if instead of going to the theater I could just pick her up and bring her to my place so we could watch it there. We have never met in person before. Yesterday she made a passive remark about wanting to cuddle. She says she wants a real relationship not a hookup though. Should I be worried?

Maybe she just wants to be cuddled! Maybe she's lonely. Maybe she's broke. Maybe she's feeling unsociable at the moment and doesn't want to be out in public. Maybe she wants to talk about things that are personal to her that she can't in public. Maybe she just really wants to see the new Spiderman movie! It seems ridiculous to me to call it off because she might sleep with you and then leave you. It's not very typical for girls to do that anyway.

If she tries it on with you and you don't want her to, just say sorry you don't feel comfortable doing that because you barely know her (or whatever the reason is). Don't say to her "because girls who sleep with men on the first date aren't looking for a relationship". She knows whether she's looking for a relationship better than you do, don't claim to know better.

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nurseangela
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09 Jan 2018, 7:54 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Do you know why they lose interest? do you want to hear it? I will tell you: because a woman won’t feel aroused while you two are sitting and having a coffee (even if you are smart and talking smart things) unless you are hot looking like Ben Affelk or Ryan Gosling. Otherwise.... down there, in her pants, nothing will move.

The reason Ryan Gosling is hot? He's not afraid to show his feminine side. The guy knits. Put a couple of knitting needles in his hands and he'd be irresistible! :mrgreen:

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kraftiekortie
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09 Jan 2018, 8:34 pm

You don't have to have sex if you don't want to.

Just watch the movie together.

If she gets aggressive about sex, and you don't want it, just tell her that you don't know her well enough yet.

If she gets upset, it's tough nuggies on her.

If she leaves, she wasn't worth it, anyway.

hale_bopp
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09 Jan 2018, 11:00 pm

^ That is the best advice. She’s not entitled to sex for being female. Not wanting it works both ways, and stand up for your rights.

The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Jan 2018, 2:06 am

nurseangela wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

The reason Ryan Gosling is hot? He's not afraid to show his feminine side. The guy knits. Put a couple of knitting needles in his hands and he'd be irresistible! :mrgreen:

...and because he is very handsome, duh.

modernmax
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10 Jan 2018, 4:23 am

Let's look at it this way. You want a relationship. All she wants is sex. If the choice is between that or nothing, I'd rather just take the sex and move on, it's far better than nothing.

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GiantHockeyFan
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10 Jan 2018, 7:53 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

ALL my first dates that started in a traditional and “civil” way have failed, despite them being very responsive in conversations.

And ALL the dates which happened after a sexual encounter (some eveb started with simply sexual talk online or on the phone) ended up as relationships/flings. Do you know why? Because you already become her fantasy subject even before dating her for real - the “Chemistry” toward you has already been released.

There is a fair bit of truth to what you say but I found the "sexual" first dates usually burned out as fast as they started, usually by date #3. Maybe I was a terrible lover but I doubt that: even my crazy ex when she started hating me after I dumped her still wanted me to .... you know... because I was so good at it.

On the other hand, with my last ex as soon as I got sexual on date #8 she started getting distant quickly and broke it off a couple of weeks later: I suspect she might be asexual as she literally spends all her free time with her best friend and they even bought a house together. As well, my now wife actually rejected me the first time I tried on date #6. I think it was date #10 or more before it went in that direction. Needless to say it was still a successful outcome despite the "failure".

In short, there are some universal truths (like most women love dominant men and are not attracted to passive guys) but everyone is different and one size does not fit all.

The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Jan 2018, 8:12 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

You're very tall and giant - so girls will assume you have a big dick and manly - so you can afford some more dates without anything sexual, they already see you in sexual way.

While in my case, I am very short and small statured so girls will assume I have a small dick and unmanly (and yes, this thought is very common among them) - when this is proven wrong on early stage then such false assumptions are shattered for good, and they would see me in a totally different light, they would see me a man and sexual being, they would no longer picture me as a little brother with little winnie.

kraftiekortie
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10 Jan 2018, 10:48 am

I'm short-statured myself. I never had anybody tell me they thought I had a small penis.

I only had problems with my averaged-sized one once. This was with a woman who constantly HAD to have sex at least once a day. She was so wide that one could up put a whole fist "up there." My penis pales in comparison to my fist.

Buc
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10 Jan 2018, 10:56 am

Watch "The Accused" instead of Spider-Man. I'm sure that'll kill her urge for sex.

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