Be Realistic

Post Reply New Topic

There are many people with many “red crosses” who do well with getting partners.

Obviously, any person should seek to improve one’s self.

But....I wouldn’t preclude myself from obtaining a relationship by virtue of the fact that I’m “nerdy” or I’m overweight. There are other aspects of people that people like. It’s good to always be clean, though.

I don't think there's anything you've said that's incorrect. It's definitely not misogynistic because it works with both genders. But Aspies don't like change so a lot of people here probably don't want to change themselves or the way they look for and pursue a potential partner. I know somebody who, when he was a teenager, would start fancying a girl, ask them out via text (never in person), pursue them to the point where they felt uncomfortable and they backed off, was pursuing multiple girls at once and they often knew each other so they knew he wasn't even that into them, and even when his friends tried to show him what he was doing wrong he just wouldn't listen. After getting rejected, he would decide the girl was a slut. Then did it all again with the next girl. I'm pretty sure he's an Aspie.

No you're not, this just your own personal out-of-ass diagnosis.

Well judging by your first comment, you really don't have a clue what I'm actually saying here. I only mentioned supermodels to make the point that if you've got enough going for you that you can get with one whenever you want, 5/10s probably aren't going to appeal to you much. Not everyone can get with supermodels, nor should they aspire to, but if it's easy for you to get with the kind of people you're attracted to, why would you settle for less?

Are you insinuating that my 'rant' is misogynistic? What, it's sexist to talk about people's looks now, is it? I don't have a clue where else you'd get misogyny from in this thread.

I've never seen anyone here say that they would date literally 'any female human', and that's not the impression I get from their posts either. Not having options is going to make you less picky, just as having more options allows you to be more picky, but even so I very much doubt even the most forever-alone of forever-aloners here is operating with such loose standards that they'd date literally any female who gave them the time of day.

I don't doubt that most who haven't been able to date are able to recognise where they stand as it relates to the dating world. What I don't understand is why they would keep trying to market a product that's not selling itself, instead of tweaking the product until it finds its market.

As you might be aware, my situation isn't too far removed from that of the guys we're talking about. The difference is I acknowledge that putting myself out there in any capacity isn't likely to get me the results I want at this stage. I see the red crosses next to my name, and I acknowledge that I've got to turn a few of them into green ticks before I have any right to expect the results I want. I'm just trying to get others in a similar position to understand that what they have to offer might simply not be enough at this stage. A caring personality generally doesn't compensate for significant shortcomings in appearance, employment and living situation.

I'm not saying people need to be perfect, or get rid of all of their 'red crosses', but you can only really ask for the equivalent of what you can offer. If you can't offer much, you can't get much.