Stupid men doing public proposal.

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magz
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22 Jan 2018, 4:27 am

fluffysaurus wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

In public? With all those people watching?

I don't even want to get married in front of other people but my family will get upset if I get married without telling them.

Elope, and bring them back a piece of cake each.

My friend's grandfather did that

The family was furious but in the end they accepted it.

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VegetableMan
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22 Jan 2018, 3:06 pm

Well, I certainly would have no interest in proposing publicly. But to each his own. It doesn't bother my ass any.

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sly279
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24 Jan 2018, 5:38 pm

Watching a show today and apparently there’s a professional proposal planner. Who job is to plan these types of proposals for the guy.

erijon3
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24 Jan 2018, 6:15 pm

It's f*****g grandeur though, I can see why people would do that, though I also see your point. Perhaps it depends on the relationship and the people involved jesus, not everyone are like you buddy

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Disconaut
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25 Jan 2018, 6:15 am

I personally would want a public proposal. The women you see crying and putting their hands to their mouth aren't "embarassed", they're surprised and overjoyed.

It is almost never the case that a man makes a huge wedding proposal for a girl who turns him down, you usually don't propose at all until getting engaged has been discussed.

fluffysaurus
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25 Jan 2018, 9:29 am

Disconaut wrote:

I personally would want a public proposal. The women you see crying and putting their hands to their mouth aren't "embarassed", they're surprised and overjoyed.

I am never surprised and overjoyed. That would be like laughing while someone is hacking me to death with an axe.

Quote:

It is almost never the case that a man makes a huge wedding proposal for a girl who turns him down, you usually don't propose at all until getting engaged has been discussed.

Then why are they surprised?

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Fireblossom
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25 Jan 2018, 10:48 am

fluffysaurus wrote:

Disconaut wrote:

I personally would want a public proposal. The women you see crying and putting their hands to their mouth aren't "embarassed", they're surprised and overjoyed.

I am never surprised and overjoyed. That would be like laughing while someone is hacking me to death with an axe.

Quote:

It is almost never the case that a man makes a huge wedding proposal for a girl who turns him down, you usually don't propose at all until getting engaged has been discussed.

Then why are they surprised?

But that's you. Many others experience things differently.

They can be surprised by the timing or the way they are proposed to. It could also be that in some cases they aren't surprised and just get all emotional.

Embla
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25 Jan 2018, 11:56 am

Haha! This is a lot like the sexual harassment-"problem": If a good-looking guy catcalls you it's a compliment, if an ugly guy does it it's sexual harassment.
If you want the guy to propose he's being super romantic, and if you don't want him to, it's stupid and embarrassing. Can't we all just agree that unless the dude is absolutely certain it will be a successful proposal, it's a terrible idea and he shouldn't do it?

fluffysaurus
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25 Jan 2018, 1:02 pm

Embla wrote:

If a good-looking guy catcalls you it's a compliment, if an ugly guy does it it's sexual harassment.

I received a catcall when I was 15. I was slightly embarrassed (nobody about) and quite flattered. It turned out to be a parrot in the doorway of a pet shop. He was a very handsome parrot.

Quote:

Can't we all just agree that unless the dude is absolutely certain it will be a successful proposal, it's a terrible idea and he shouldn't do it?

Fair enough.

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kraftiekortie
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25 Jan 2018, 1:07 pm

I don't think most people really like being "put on the spot" like that.

The answer will probably change both peoples' lives forever.

Disconaut
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25 Jan 2018, 3:45 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:

Disconaut wrote:

I personally would want a public proposal. The women you see crying and putting their hands to their mouth aren't "embarassed", they're surprised and overjoyed.

I am never surprised and overjoyed. That would be like laughing while someone is hacking me to death with an axe.

Quote:

It is almost never the case that a man makes a huge wedding proposal for a girl who turns him down, you usually don't propose at all until getting engaged has been discussed.

Then why are they surprised?

Because generally couples discuss whether to get engaged or not, but the actual proposal is a surprise and generally something both parties want to remember.

I've never been engaged, so the first example that comes to mind is Jim and Pam from "The Office". In the show, they discuss that they will get engaged in the near future. Jim then teases Pam with some romantic (and some non-romantic) red herrings over several episodes. In the end, he ends up proposing to her in the rain at a gas station, the opposite of how he led her to believe he would propose, and this juxtaposition (plus the individual chemistry of our fictional examples) is what makes it a (happy) tearjerker.

Its the surprise of the timing, the setting, and the meaning of the engagement that makes it shocking and romantic. A third party can't always tell what exactly makes it special to the couple, ASD or NT. People on the outside can't see those intangible things within other people's romantic relationships.

MissChess
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25 Jan 2018, 4:00 pm

I'm long past the age where I believe there has to be "one true way" that's best for everyone.

If a man's foolish enough to think he can pressure a lady into saying yes by doing this, and she's not the sort who appreciates or enjoys this kind of gesture, I suspect the relationship's doomed anyway.

I think it's tacky and awful, but I think the same of having restaurant waitstaff sing "Happy Birthday", so plainly I'm more on the reserved side. Still, if they enjoy it, it's no skin off my nose.

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26 Jan 2018, 12:03 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I came across a video on facebook, it was a western thing but it’s happening everywhere now and it’s frankly appalling; I think you all watched such failed proposal videos:

-It is in a public place.
- The guy comes with an enormous bouquet of red flowers....ec.
- The guy is about to bow on one bended knee a... bla bla
- The crowd goes Yeahhh woohoo
- She puts her hand on mouth and becomes so embarrassed, she tries to make the guy stands up quickly, she’s clearly not wanting to marry him.
- But like the blind mule he is, he opens the ring box anyway and asks her to marry him.
- She gets so upset and runs away, the guy is in total public humilation.

Now.... why the f- men do such stupid things like this and risk their own dignity to be humilated like this in public? It’s so f- stupid. At least he should have asked their lady in private if she wants to marry him before doing this stupid failed show off?
How about a private proposal? I dunno, maybe after a long hot sex night?

Aspie men, please don’t do public proposals, this is a stupid trend that we men must kill for good.

Who agrees?

Yes, it's stupid. Proposals should be private unless the person proposing knows the person they are asking will say yes.

magz
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26 Jan 2018, 4:52 am

In our case, the proposal was semi-public, next to my family.
We both knew before that we want to marry each other.
But this kind of proposal marked an official date when we started preparations for our wedding. I think the clear message to the families was important there.

This is also what I think of weddings – they are meant to be clear message to the society. I believe that's what ceremonies are meant for in general.

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fluffysaurus
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26 Jan 2018, 1:31 pm

sly279 wrote:

Watching a show today and apparently there’s a professional proposal planner. Who job is to plan these types of proposals for the guy.

Is this a step up or down from professional wedding planners for dogs?

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Kristaok
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28 Jan 2018, 3:57 pm

WHats stupid is when they get turned down by the chick that was dating them prior... it's silly that women complain that men never wanna settle down but the moment they do BAM they dump the guy publically humiliating him.

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