12 Mar 2018, 2:51 am
There's always something to gain. That's coming from a guy who thought he'd spend his entire life around machines. There's more.
People we love still see these struggles in us even though none of us may know what's to be done.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
12 Mar 2018, 4:23 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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Age: 43
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12 Mar 2018, 4:26 am
12 Mar 2018, 4:31 am
Spiderpig wrote:
Like what? 
There's an infinite number of options of things you could have typed right there, for example, but you chose "Like what?". You didn't say anything else you could have said.
So a person makes a choice to say "I will never find a girlfriend" rather than "I'm struggling to find a girlfriend". He *can* say either, but chooses the absolute phrasing.
12 Mar 2018, 4:37 am
nick007 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I feel it's just people expressing their frustration.
They WANT love and companionship----that's why they come to L & D.
It is not actually "hopeless" for them. And I believe they know that, too, in their hearts.
I definitely posted things like yellowtamarin is talking about aLOT. I did it because it was a way of blowing off steam & I wanted others to grasp how badly I felt about it. I was wanting support & advice that I could actually use instead of the clue-shay(have NO clue how to spell it) generic phrases that lots of people say.They WANT love and companionship----that's why they come to L & D.
It is not actually "hopeless" for them. And I believe they know that, too, in their hearts.
cliché
Did you not worry that by using such "absolutes" in your phrasing, rather than inviting useful advice it would make people not bother to try? Because if you say "there is no hope for me" then it seems kinda silly for someone to respond with more 'hopeless' advice.
12 Mar 2018, 4:43 am
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
I'm curious as to why people who post in here with phrases like
I'll never find someone
It's hopeless for me
I'm done with dating
Trying to find a decent person is pointless
Nobody will ever want me
etc
even bother reading this forum at all, let alone contribute to it?
I'm not suggesting you stop contributing...I'm genuinely interested to know why you come to an advice forum to essentially tell us that our advice is useless? Is it simply venting, or is it overly-dramatic phrasing in order to prompt us to work harder to prove you wrong? Or what?
What is it you want from us, when you say things like this? And if you don't want anything, why do you come here to say it?
Thanks in advance for the insight
(Note: There's a distinction between "it's hopeless" and "it feels hopeless". I'm only referring to the first type of statement.)
I'll never find someone
It's hopeless for me
I'm done with dating
Trying to find a decent person is pointless
Nobody will ever want me
etc
even bother reading this forum at all, let alone contribute to it?
I'm not suggesting you stop contributing...I'm genuinely interested to know why you come to an advice forum to essentially tell us that our advice is useless? Is it simply venting, or is it overly-dramatic phrasing in order to prompt us to work harder to prove you wrong? Or what?
What is it you want from us, when you say things like this? And if you don't want anything, why do you come here to say it?
Thanks in advance for the insight
(Note: There's a distinction between "it's hopeless" and "it feels hopeless". I'm only referring to the first type of statement.)
Probably they want to be proven wrong or find support, or just vent. Feeling like you have no chance or that it's hopeless doesn't remove the desire or longing for a relationship. I guess they feel they have nothing to lose by contributing, even if they doubt they have much to gain.
Hmm well that's why I was clear to distinguish between phrasing like "it is hopeless" and "it feels hopeless". What you say makes sense with the second phrasing, but when talking to us literal-minded aspies, the first type of wording shows no sign of there being room for being proven wrong (or a willingness to be).
Yes, I'm probably just being pedantic with language. Words can be very powerful though and I do wonder if the use of such strong, inflexible language might have a negative influence on the mind of the user, however mild it may be.
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,188
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
12 Mar 2018, 5:02 am
yellowtamarin wrote:
nick007 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I feel it's just people expressing their frustration.
They WANT love and companionship----that's why they come to L & D.
It is not actually "hopeless" for them. And I believe they know that, too, in their hearts.
I definitely posted things like yellowtamarin is talking about aLOT. I did it because it was a way of blowing off steam & I wanted others to grasp how badly I felt about it. I was wanting support & advice that I could actually use instead of the clue-shay(have NO clue how to spell it) generic phrases that lots of people say.They WANT love and companionship----that's why they come to L & D.
It is not actually "hopeless" for them. And I believe they know that, too, in their hearts.
cliché
Did you not worry that by using such "absolutes" in your phrasing, rather than inviting useful advice it would make people not bother to try? Because if you say "there is no hope for me" then it seems kinda silly for someone to respond with more 'hopeless' advice.
12 Mar 2018, 7:43 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,454
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
12 Mar 2018, 7:57 am
12 Mar 2018, 10:02 am
13 Mar 2018, 9:20 am
13 Mar 2018, 11:06 am
13 Mar 2018, 11:56 am
14 Mar 2018, 1:08 am
14 Mar 2018, 2:50 am
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,188
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
14 Mar 2018, 3:01 am
