Why must romance involve offerings?

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TAFKASH
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22 Jun 2005, 9:57 am

I would hope she'd buy me a shotgun so I could blow my own brains out.....


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jman
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22 Jun 2005, 11:10 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I don't know, it's stupid.

No-one can buy my love. On the other extreme, some people get it when they probably don't want it.

Treat em mean, keep em keen. I need a guy to keep me in check, I'm not into wearing the pants in a relationship.



It sounds to me like you're into those overly confident guys that treat women like s**t, yet they still fall for them :x



Absolute_Zero
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22 Jun 2005, 11:42 am

And...

I simply don't care. I treat women with respect, like friends. I can spoil them rotten but not with useless trinkets. If I give something, it has to have real use and value. Rocks and metal that are completely useless are a waste of time. I have been attracted to wild ones in that it gives me a challenge to overcome and keeps things interesting. I wouldn't do much good with a laid back type.
I need someone that keeps me on my feet and active.



vetivert
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22 Jun 2005, 4:56 pm

isn't giving (gifts or otherwise) about giving something the recipient wants, even if part of it is about what you want to give them?



ghotistix
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22 Jun 2005, 8:14 pm

magic wrote:
At one point earlier this year I was so lost that I created an Excel spreadsheet to calculate my girlfriend's intentions, by analyzing patterns in her behavior. :oops:

I hope you won't be offended if I tell you that's the funniest thing I've read all week :lol:



hale_bopp
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23 Jun 2005, 6:26 am

jman wrote:

It sounds to me like you're into those overly confident guys that treat women like sh**, yet they still fall for them :x


i'm not "into" them. They're cocks, and they're only good for one thing; sex. I'd never be in a relationship with someone that treated me like s**t.



jman
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23 Jun 2005, 9:22 am

they shouldn't even be used for sex; they deserve to be totally ignored. yes some of the aspies here have never gotten any sex in their lives, and yet these a**holes are getting sex without even blinking. What the f**k is wrong with this world? ! !! :x



pizzaboss
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23 Jun 2005, 10:12 am

This should be in the mature forum.



Feather
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23 Jun 2005, 10:12 am

There's nothing wrong with giving or receiving gifts - between 2 people who know and love each other and have an equal and supportive relationship, there's no obligation involved.

An example. I am really bad at picking gifts for people and often miss the point completely if people drop subtle hints in the run-up to their birthday, but over the weekend my boyfriend moaned at some length about the fact that he couldn't afford to buy a CD that he really wanted. So on Monday I stopped off at the record store on my way home from work and bought it for him because I could afford it and I knew he wanted it. I sometimes have trouble expressing the fact that I care about him, but buying him a gift that I knew he wanted was one way of me showing that I care. I don't expect anything in return, and I'm not trying to buy his love, just doing something small to make him happy.

It doesn't have to be a gift, if I were to cook dinner for him could that also be considered buying him, or leaving him with some obligation towards me?

I am aware that I lack the ability to notice if he is feeling down/stressed/tired etc unless he explicitly tells me, so on the rare occassions when I am sure that he would be pleased if I did something for him - be it a small gift, cook a nice meal etc, then I see it as part of being in a mutually supportive relationship to do so, nothing more sinister than that.



magic
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23 Jun 2005, 11:25 am

ghotistix wrote:
magic wrote:
At one point earlier this year I was so lost that I created an Excel spreadsheet to calculate my girlfriend's intentions, by analyzing patterns in her behavior. :oops:

I hope you won't be offended if I tell you that's the funniest thing I've read all week :lol:

No, not at all! I am happy that I made you laugh. For your information, the spreadsheet was a genuine and serious attempt to solve my confusion, although I was aware of a humorous quality of such an approach. Well, one has to somehow work around the lack of social intuition, you know... ;) I will add that my calculations turned out quite correct in the end! :D



Torak
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23 Jun 2005, 4:15 pm

The following hypothesis is exceedingly cynical and I'll freely admit my own limited understanding of women. It's not intended to be derogatory to women in any way, simply an attempt at a logical analysis based on my limited experience:

I'd guess that one of the reasons for guys giving things to women is the demand for attention that many women seem to have, it helps soothe their self-doubts and uncertanties and (in more shallow people) gives them something to wave about and say "look what I've got" thus giving them bragging rights in the local friendship circle.

Materialism, narcissism, attention seeking, take your pick ... but I fail to see why I should toil at my desk for hours to get the money for a 'gift' and get a pat on the back, "sit! beg! who's a good boy then!", as all I ever got when I was younger was a patronising sneer equivalent to "Thank you very little. Go away quickly.", or so I interpreted it (some of my assumptions and notions were way out... too long to explain)

*cynical mode off*

Get the firing squad ready ladies. :?



Sarcastic_Name
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23 Jun 2005, 10:40 pm

I give gifts to show that I like someone. I gave my crush chocolate on Valentine's Day...ASPIE STYLE!! !....I put them in front of her and said "Here."...ver weird situation, she might of understood it was meant to be a sign of affection...I think she was confused by my timidness...da*n gift giving, I'm bad at it.


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hale_bopp
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24 Jun 2005, 12:49 am

jman wrote:
they shouldn't even be used for sex; they deserve to be totally ignored. yes some of the aspies here have never gotten any sex in their lives, and yet these a**holes are getting sex without even blinking. What the f*** is wrong with this world? ! !! :x


Women like alpha dominance. Same thing applies in other animals.. The alpha male gets all the females.

At least with humans some people don't, we have a more developed brain than just animal instinct.

I'm not going to say what I I find sexually stimulating as it would probably offend people.



Sean
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24 Jun 2005, 1:04 am

magic wrote:
At one point earlier this year I was so lost that I created an Excel spreadsheet to calculate my girlfriend's intentions, by analyzing patterns in her behavior...I will add that my calculations turned out quite correct in the end! :D

Can you give us an example of how this spreadsheet worked without divulging personal inforation you do not wish to share?



vetivert
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24 Jun 2005, 10:18 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I'm not going to say what I I find sexually stimulating as it would probably offend people.


sigh. some people spoil ALL the fun, hale bopp... ;)



Sean
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24 Jun 2005, 10:59 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I'm not going to say what I I find sexually stimulating as it would probably offend people.

:? Why adverize that fact if you are not going to share it??? I'm not trying to make you spill your guts, I just dont see the point of adding that scentence.