26 Mar 2018, 12:23 pm
"Lady Marmalade" was a big hit in 1975. It was done by a group called LaBelle. The French phrase was seen as being rather risque for its time. It meant, somewhat literally, "Would you like to lay on the couch with me?" I was 14 years old when the song came out. Now you know my age 
Think about the actual Rosetta Stone---rendered in three ancient languages. It's been proven indispensable in the deciphering of some older, obscure ancient languages (one of which is Egyptian Hieroglyphics).
It's computer software which is quite popular in the US. It claims to have sort of a foolproof method which could teach anybody, even the most klutzy linguist, any language.
Last edited by kraftiekortie on 26 Mar 2018, 1:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
26 Mar 2018, 1:10 pm
BayeuxTailor wrote:
haha I realised he was referring to his penis, but I was playing with words - 'dictionary/DICKtionary'. I've watched way too many episodes of 'Are You Being Served?' - an English sitcom from the 70s that plays on the double meaning of words. I forget that not everyone will understand my humour, and on that note: please tell if you don't understand me, as I am Australian, so I do tend to use a lot of silly phrases and slang that just wont make sense to other people outside Australia. There some very funny videos on YouTube about our slang actually. anyway, I digress..
I figured you did, I was just messing around with other potiential D-words. And I know 'stralya has it's own set of bizarre slang terms, but so far you've been perfectly comprehensible.
BayeuxTailor wrote:
I thought about contacting him on the social media platform he appears to feel most comfortable on, but i guess I'm just afraid of seeming like I'm stalking him. I'm studying to be an historian - we research and analyse, so I am applying those skills to this situation. My last message (last night) asked if he would like to meet up, but I am unsure how 'cement' my language was (btw he is English by birth, so my Australian colloquialism probably gets lost on him too), but I do try to be very clear, but what is clear to a woman, may be not seem so clear to a man, let alone an aspie man. I'd like to tackle that again maybe, but with really 'cement' language (not you Tarzan, me Jane, lets get coffee and make babies hehe), and try as you suggested, on social media private messaging. I just assumed text was ok because he gave me his business card with his number on the front (and I am way too chicken to call him). I kind of like the idea of inviting him for coffee at our old university (we graduated last year) as it seems like it would be a familiar place to him.
Aspies tend to prefer text as a form of communication. I suggested E-mail because the format lends itself better to longer text, rather than the abbreviated language of texting by mobile.
Hm. The "cement" thing might be an issue, but it's hard to say for certain.
Before applying the more direct approach, perhaps an alternative method: does he have any friends he hangs with? If so, approaching one of them and asking them if they know if he might be interested might be an idea. I'm working on the more likely assumption that he would be interested in you and unsure how to go about it, but in fairness it is possible that he's not interested, and unsure how to go about that.
BayeuxTailor wrote:
I would flash him, but it seemed that towards the end of the semester that the sight of me in the room was enough to make him run away (literally) or pace, or run away, come back, sit down, change chairs, walk past, sit down, walk past, sit down, pace, etc. I actually drew him a humorous picture of that day in an attempt to show interest and explain why I didn't speak to him, but that I did notice him (I had my body faced to him,and he had his body faced to me, though we were a medium distance away from each other). However, a good reason for flashing him would be that my cleavage is exquisite and he is a boobie man.
Well then...don't rule it out.
The avoidance thing is a sign that could go either way, so I can't speak to it with any certainty.
BayeuxTailor wrote:
Do you really think he could be over-analyzing my texts? Could it just be that he isn't interested (not that I expect you to be a mind reader). I guess I ask this because if he were a NT man I would absolutely assume that he wasn't interested after the first two texts. I actually recently disclosed my aspie-ness to him (I am not officially diagnosed, but it seems like a certainty when I reflect on my past and present behavior. It was such a relief actually. Funnily enough, I may not have discovered this important thing about myself if I hadn't met him, as it was through reading about it that I realized I was on the spectrum. Also, I'm still learning the correct terminology, so please feel free to correct me if I get things wrong.)
BayeuxTailor wrote:
so.. what should a basic 'hey lets meet up' email, look like in your opinion? I'm afraid my words may be confusing him/making him anxious and I want to be clear and make him feel at ease.
I'm me and he's him, but I know firsthand the sort of loops that one can get stuck in, especially when dealing with the complex and tantalizing creatures that are the female of the species.
as for the email, well...
"Hi BrownEyes.
I hope this e-mail finds you well. I am fine, but something has been on my mind lately: you. I wanted to put the cards on the table and say it outright: I would like to date you. You seem like a great guy, and I'd like the chance to get to know you better. Are you busy next Saturday? How about I take you out to *insert venue*? My treat! Does *time* o'clock work for you? Please respond so I know for certain.
yours
BayeuxTailor
PS. *attached image of you flashing him* DS.
Okay, that last part was optional, but still!
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,405
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
26 Mar 2018, 1:19 pm
26 Mar 2018, 1:36 pm
Wolfram87 wrote:
BayeuxTailor wrote:
haha I realised he was referring to his penis, but I was playing with words - 'dictionary/DICKtionary'. I've watched way too many episodes of 'Are You Being Served?' - an English sitcom from the 70s that plays on the double meaning of words. I forget that not everyone will understand my humour, and on that note: please tell if you don't understand me, as I am Australian, so I do tend to use a lot of silly phrases and slang that just wont make sense to other people outside Australia. There some very funny videos on YouTube about our slang actually. anyway, I digress..
I figured you did, I was just messing around with other potiential D-words. And I know 'stralya has it's own set of bizarre slang terms, but so far you've been perfectly comprehensible.
BayeuxTailor wrote:
I thought about contacting him on the social media platform he appears to feel most comfortable on, but i guess I'm just afraid of seeming like I'm stalking him. I'm studying to be an historian - we research and analyse, so I am applying those skills to this situation. My last message (last night) asked if he would like to meet up, but I am unsure how 'cement' my language was (btw he is English by birth, so my Australian colloquialism probably gets lost on him too), but I do try to be very clear, but what is clear to a woman, may be not seem so clear to a man, let alone an aspie man. I'd like to tackle that again maybe, but with really 'cement' language (not you Tarzan, me Jane, lets get coffee and make babies hehe), and try as you suggested, on social media private messaging. I just assumed text was ok because he gave me his business card with his number on the front (and I am way too chicken to call him). I kind of like the idea of inviting him for coffee at our old university (we graduated last year) as it seems like it would be a familiar place to him.
Aspies tend to prefer text as a form of communication. I suggested E-mail because the format lends itself better to longer text, rather than the abbreviated language of texting by mobile.
Hm. The "cement" thing might be an issue, but it's hard to say for certain.
Before applying the more direct approach, perhaps an alternative method: does he have any friends he hangs with? If so, approaching one of them and asking them if they know if he might be interested might be an idea. I'm working on the more likely assumption that he would be interested in you and unsure how to go about it, but in fairness it is possible that he's not interested, and unsure how to go about that.
BayeuxTailor wrote:
I would flash him, but it seemed that towards the end of the semester that the sight of me in the room was enough to make him run away (literally) or pace, or run away, come back, sit down, change chairs, walk past, sit down, walk past, sit down, pace, etc. I actually drew him a humorous picture of that day in an attempt to show interest and explain why I didn't speak to him, but that I did notice him (I had my body faced to him,and he had his body faced to me, though we were a medium distance away from each other). However, a good reason for flashing him would be that my cleavage is exquisite and he is a boobie man.
Well then...don't rule it out.
The avoidance thing is a sign that could go either way, so I can't speak to it with any certainty.
BayeuxTailor wrote:
Do you really think he could be over-analyzing my texts? Could it just be that he isn't interested (not that I expect you to be a mind reader). I guess I ask this because if he were a NT man I would absolutely assume that he wasn't interested after the first two texts. I actually recently disclosed my aspie-ness to him (I am not officially diagnosed, but it seems like a certainty when I reflect on my past and present behavior. It was such a relief actually. Funnily enough, I may not have discovered this important thing about myself if I hadn't met him, as it was through reading about it that I realized I was on the spectrum. Also, I'm still learning the correct terminology, so please feel free to correct me if I get things wrong.)
BayeuxTailor wrote:
so.. what should a basic 'hey lets meet up' email, look like in your opinion? I'm afraid my words may be confusing him/making him anxious and I want to be clear and make him feel at ease.
I'm me and he's him, but I know firsthand the sort of loops that one can get stuck in, especially when dealing with the complex and tantalizing creatures that are the female of the species.
as for the email, well...
"Hi BrownEyes.
I hope this e-mail finds you well. I am fine, but something has been on my mind lately: you. I wanted to put the cards on the table and say it outright: I would like to date you. You seem like a great guy, and I'd like the chance to get to know you better. Are you busy next Saturday? How about I take you out to *insert venue*? My treat! Does *time* o'clock work for you? Please respond so I know for certain.
yours
BayeuxTailor
PS. *attached image of you flashing him* DS.
Okay, that last part was optional, but still!
haha we Australians are a funny lot.
BrownEyes and I have both since graduated, so I no longer see him in person, and sadly, I never actually saw him speak to anyone else, so for all I know he did not make any friends in class/at uni.
It really is a tricky situation. I've actually written at the end of a text that if he wasn't interested he could just write the word "no", but he hasn't so I don't know he is interest or isn't reading my texts. It really could be either. I really struggle to read men I fancy. Women are open books to me, but men.. you lot are mysterious creatures. I know when I fancy someone I have an urge to run too. its fight or flight isn't it?
I'm an attractive woman (I'm not tooting my own horn, I'm just stating a fact) and I know I could hop on an online dating website, post a picture of myself and get a dozen offers of sex/date in the first ten minutes (true story. I've had my contact requests hit 100+ which isn't as fun as it sounds), but I rarely really feel strongly attracted to a man or feel comfortable in his presence. That is why BrownEyes is special and why I am trying to make absolutely certain of his feelings before I give up on him as a potential boyfriend. It is just so darn hard to read a book that is closed. If i just went by our in person interactions at the event we met at then I would say yes, maybe this man likes me, but the silence after confuses. He gave me his business card, so it seems strange that he would not want to connect with me, after all that in itself seems like an attempt, albeit small, to reach out. I don't expect anyone to give me all the answers as to how to deal with this man, but I believe if I get a few opinions I can weigh them against his actions and decided on what is the best course of action i.e: be patient with him and the situation, walk away (without any hard feelings - because he lovely, regardless of whether he wants to be with me).
Boo: and here I was thinking it was your schnitzel you were bragging about
26 Mar 2018, 1:52 pm
27 Mar 2018, 10:38 am
27 Mar 2018, 10:45 am
27 Mar 2018, 2:11 pm
27 Mar 2018, 6:29 pm
28 Mar 2018, 5:27 am
Thanks for the great advice Wolfram. I have a date this Friday! *happy dance*
I followed your advice to the letter.
It looks like there was some mix up - I think he gave out business cards with a number not current, as he was really surprised to hear from me. He seemed delighted too. He remembered me from the event, as well as which class we had together, my name, and that he enjoyed talking to me. Its funny, it almost sounds like a Jane Austin novel or 'An Affair to Remeber' (I think that's the movie I'm thinking of).
*happy* 
28 Mar 2018, 5:49 am
Congratulations, and good luck!
I'm hardly a love guru (to which my own love life stands as a testament), but if my experience with the male aspie mind has helped you, I'm glad to have been of service.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,405
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
28 Mar 2018, 5:59 am
28 Mar 2018, 6:46 am
Boo..the cupcake reference was just about baked goods. I dont thii Tom Selleck had two weenies. His shorts were pretty tight.. The extra one would have stood out.
You're a champ Wolfram!
The aspie guy whisperer!
28 Mar 2018, 9:34 am
BayeuxTailor wrote:
You're a champ Wolfram!
Too kind.
BayeuxTailor wrote:
The aspie guy whisperer!
Would that I was the aspie girl whisperer...
28 Mar 2018, 10:04 am
Maybe I'm an aspie girl whisperer? I'm happy to answer any questions/give advice. I can't speak for all women, but I am a woman, so that has to count for something
28 Mar 2018, 10:11 am
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| Worried I've lost my aspie friend and he's being manipulated |
29 May 2025, 8:54 pm |
| Feelings for a woman |
13 Jun 2025, 5:56 am |
| I met a beautiful woman today |
24 Jun 2025, 8:04 am |
| Anxious woman with potentially ND man |
19 Apr 2025, 5:27 pm |
