Girl I don't like keeps harassing me.

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Seraphiel
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23 Apr 2018, 2:05 am

I think his family would take him seriously, especially being on the spectrum and not being able to speak up. And he did try and get her to stop in his own way, trying to talk to her or confront her is a BAD idea. She is the kind of person that takes advantage of others, just because she can. It wont solve anything. What it boils down to is, this will keep happening to other people, by her, even if it's not you. I promise.

PurplePlumz
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23 Apr 2018, 2:29 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Report it. Also why are you talking with this person online if you don’t like them? Message her and tell her to leave you alone or you’ll report her. It’s pretty serious, if you can’t defend yourself, you need an advocate. Get one, whether it be family or the school.

I think I forgot to mention that this happened only quite recently, and she was just another peer beforehand (at least to me). She started acting in the way that I just described online and in real-life only recently (like a couple of weeks ago). I blocked her anyway.

And agreed, Seraphiel.

Spiderpig
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23 Apr 2018, 2:32 am

Do what they've said about resorting to your family, the school and the police if necessary, and good luck. Unfortunately, I don't believe the odds are with you. She seems to know very well whom to target and how, setting you up to be derided or even to look like the bad guy.

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PurplePlumz
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29 Apr 2018, 6:06 pm

Thanks guys! I've talked more with people I know about this. My goal really is just to get her away from me.

She seems to have some weird obsession with imagining me naked, and says she wishes that I would tie her up. She seems to like a lot of things about me, but one thing I've noticed is that she seems to have a thing for S&M while also liking to imagine me as some sort of protective and strong figure. I don't really understand, though, because there are much stronger and more confident and charismatic guys in my school, yet she only seems to take interest in me. She doesn't seem to take interest in any of my friends. Her friends have told me that it's definitely a case of her being interested. Could any of you imagine how this would have gone down if the genders were reversed?

Wolfram87
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30 Apr 2018, 5:40 am

PurplePlumz wrote:

Could any of you imagine how this would have gone down if the genders were reversed?

Creepy, but mostly harmless since the fantasies are of being dommed. Violent and predatory if it had been a desire to dom.

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exy34
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30 Apr 2018, 11:23 am

hobojungle wrote:

PurplePlumz wrote:

There's this girl in my school who has a huge crush on me, but I don't like her very much. She's very loud and excitable, and talks way too much and quickly. She touches me inappropriately (grabs me by crotch) and likes to makes sexual remarks (both online and face-to-face), and I find it very off-putting. If I could, I would tell her that I'm not interested and for her to stay away, but I can't voice it out because I'm mute (I think she's taking advantage of that fact). I will often push her away from me when she comes close as well as indicate to her through sign language that I don't like it, but that doesn't really stop her from trying and trying again. What should I do? People don't take the situation very seriously because they don't believe in sexual harassment towards males. Only my friends stick up for me. I haven't told my family about this.

Print out this post for her to read. If she persists, keep a written log of her behavior, including dates & times to prove a pattern of harassment. Tell people until someone believes you. Good luck.

This sounds like nice solution, I agree with you.

hobojungle
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30 Apr 2018, 12:00 pm

PurplePlumz wrote:

Could any of you imagine how this would have gone down if the genders were reversed?

Not only can I imagine, but it happened to me. I didn’t tell anyone. Nothing happened. I hope your situation is different.

PurplePlumz
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30 Apr 2018, 4:09 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Honestly, I think most people would not take you seriously, even family, because of the fact you are a male.

The best way is to face her and to be firm with her. And you should not message her, ghost her.

Don't tell her you're gay because this would kill your chances if you like a girl in school.

I've faced her before and tried to be firm. I've indicated to her before that I want her to stop and to go away, multiple times actually. I was forced to push her quite hard away from me a few times. In fact, when she starts touching me or making inappropriate remarks, I always try to confront her in the best way that I can (it's easy for her to exploit my muteness, so I have to indicate it very firmly otherwise).
Didn't really change.

I am aromantic btw, so I'm not romantically interested in anyone in my school.

Last edited by PurplePlumz on 30 Apr 2018, 4:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

PurplePlumz
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30 Apr 2018, 4:12 pm

hobojungle wrote:

PurplePlumz wrote:

Could any of you imagine how this would have gone down if the genders were reversed?

Not only can I imagine, but it happened to me. I didn’t tell anyone. Nothing happened. I hope your situation is different.

I'm truly sorry that this has happened to you, and I honestly didn't try to come across the way I did when I posted it.

hobojungle
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30 Apr 2018, 4:16 pm

PurplePlumz wrote:

hobojungle wrote:

PurplePlumz wrote:

Could any of you imagine how this would have gone down if the genders were reversed?

Not only can I imagine, but it happened to me. I didn’t tell anyone. Nothing happened. I hope your situation is different.

I'm truly sorry that this has happened to you, and I honestly didn't try to come across the way I did when I posted it.

Thank you, I accept your apology.

PurplePlumz
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30 Apr 2018, 4:18 pm

Wolfram87 wrote:

PurplePlumz wrote:

Could any of you imagine how this would have gone down if the genders were reversed?

Creepy, but mostly harmless since the fantasies are of being dommed. Violent and predatory if it had been a desire to dom.

I also mentioned S&M, so she actually imagines the same to me as well...

Last edited by PurplePlumz on 30 Apr 2018, 4:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

PurplePlumz
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30 Apr 2018, 4:20 pm

hobojungle wrote:

PurplePlumz wrote:

hobojungle wrote:

PurplePlumz wrote:

Could any of you imagine how this would have gone down if the genders were reversed?

Not only can I imagine, but it happened to me. I didn’t tell anyone. Nothing happened. I hope your situation is different.

I'm truly sorry that this has happened to you, and I honestly didn't try to come across the way I did when I posted it.

Thank you, I accept your apology.

I was just meaning to say that I was frustrated beforehand that few people take me seriously in real life for it. Somebody even once outright said that it was BS because I'm male, as if they needed for the gender roles to be reversed for it to count. Again, really sorry for coming across as disrespectful.

Just to confirm, family was informed and the school is finally aware of the issue.

Chronos
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30 Apr 2018, 4:53 pm

PurplePlumz wrote:

hobojungle wrote:

PurplePlumz wrote:

hobojungle wrote:

PurplePlumz wrote:

Could any of you imagine how this would have gone down if the genders were reversed?

Not only can I imagine, but it happened to me. I didn’t tell anyone. Nothing happened. I hope your situation is different.

I'm truly sorry that this has happened to you, and I honestly didn't try to come across the way I did when I posted it.

Thank you, I accept your apology.

What does the school intend to do about the issue?

You are correct that people take males less seriously when they are victims of sexual harassment and assault. The fact of the matter is, it took decades, if not centuries for women to even begin to be taken seriously on this issue and it's still a battle. Since the issue of males as victims of sexual harassment and assault is a fairly new concept to the public, it's a much steeper hill to climb, but you made it a little easier for other men by coming forward. I would demand the school and authorities take the same action they would if you were female and she were male. Females need to understand and respect boundaries as much as males do.

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