Shyness held me back and still does

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I don't find that helpful at all. I know a few ND women that like their partners to be obsessive about them. So, that's not just something in the brains of us ND guys.

After all, I think there is reason to believe that ND obsessions primarily are meant for relationships.

Well, I had my hormones kicking in during those days. Hormones + natural shyness = Internal Hell. I used to hope that if I was just nice I could avoid the courtship ritual but I learned the hard way. I don't think it's completely my fault, though. My parents kept bombarding me with messages like "Don't do this, don't do that!", no one in my developmental years knew anything about autism or Aspergers (My parents knew but didn't say a word to me about it), and Bible Belt societal expectations put on males were very unforgiving.

I actually went to a ballroom in my city three times but besides the instructor's assistant and someone I knew from high school who was coupled up, all the women were old enough to be my grandmother so I grew exasperated and left.

I did enroll in two college art classes but both times the women weren't even interested in making friends. That is a recurring theme in my life. I am put in social places but I am always given "f**k off" signals.

The women who generally lack boyfriends in the culture I live in tend to be zombiefied redneck women and book smart but morbidly obese women. The "tiny minorities" in my area would be East and Southeast Asians, South Asians (Indian mostly), and Middle Eastern/Eurasian peoples but the odds are still stacked against me. The women in those groups tend to marry within their ethnic groups since they are tightly knit but if I see an Asian woman married to a white guy, he's usually a doctor or a computer geek, traits I do not have.

Do you even want me to have a girlfriend?

I expect most people here are pretty neutral on that, to be honest.

That could be useful for performing cunnilingus though.

There is a difference between giving someone a lot of attention and exalting them like a goddess. When people put women on pedestals...figuratively speaking, and exalt them as deities, they are being stripped of their right to be imperfect and held to standards mere mortals can't meet. The relationship is toxic before it begins because the worshiped has already set it up to fail as when the person they have exalted does not meet the standards they hold them to, the worshiper becomes resentful and disappointed and tends to feel they did not receive that which they felt they were entitled to.

^ Yes.

The Ambivalent Sexism Inventory How can adoration qualify as sexism test


My score=

Hostile Sexism Score: 1.09
Benevolent Sexism Score: 1.82

I don’t see it that way. I look at any given woman AS SHE IS at any given time as being the standard. Awesome people are just awesome, regardless of variance from one moment to the next.

I got over 3 on both, but I think this is a completely biased test that measures nothing useful. For one, you probably need to support feminism and their ideas to get a low score, and not everybody agrees with the good-hearted nature of those ideals.

They also talk about combinations of traits, but the test doesn't seem to deal with those, rather is about absolute scores. So, if you adore women but don't want to control them, you still get high scores even if you then no longer meet their prejudices.

I don't think that is how it works. You can adore a woman and still oversea her faults. Those two are not related. Besides, the purpose of a crush is to temporarily hide the bad sides of a person before you get to know them, which is a pretty similar natural trait. And note that NDs have stronger crushes too.

^ What is that garbage?