What to do as a guy if feeling like I am too feminine?

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Steady now... I'm not sure I am quite ready to join some kind of "cult-of-Boo" besides my neck is stiff now from hanging my head in shame....

Don’t try to look more macho than you actually are; doing that would make you look ridiculous.

Yes: your diet plays a huge role. Try doing the "one meal a day" diet for a while. Tough to get started and fairly tough to maintain, but HGH and testosterone are boosted by around 1000% and over 50%, respectively (results may vary - this is the average.) There's so many benefits of this diet it's absurd.

In what way do you feel like you may be too feminine? And what behaviors/mannerisms do you see as feminine?

Source?

I had a low T for a while (around 425) - what improved it is Zinc and Vitamin D supplements.

What’s the magic behind this diet? any reliable studies confirming it?

Wear a football helmet....

It's a psychological thing but little things that add up IMO. Everything from how I walk, stand, talk. If I see myself in video it always seems to me I look feminine. I think I looked androgynous as a child.

Other things like I should be stronger/more athletic based on what I do. I've done weights for some years but bench press still close to where I started which is still below average. About this I don't know if people BS a lot but I tried reading around and it seemed typical beginner level for men would be bench 150 lbs 5-10 times comfortably, 200+ lbs 5-10 times comfortably being doable within a year. These were threads/articles pertaining to those who start in late teens or in their 20s. So I suspect low T as there should have been a lot more strength development.


I'm very curious too. Although I would hesitate if this "one meal a day" diet would fatten me up. I think I don't have the teen metabolism that can very easily recover.

I felt like you do for a really reaaallyy long time. Since I was a kid I think, but it started to bother me on daily basis when I hit puberty at around 11. I felt so ashamed for not being like the other guys.

I hated so much my voice, the way I moved and talked and walked and gesticulated, how skinny and weak I was (I still feel like s**t for this xD I really should go to the gym and eat healthy), how I wasn't into the things the other guys were like sports, working out, cars, objectifying women and treating them like pieces of meat...

My classmates often made fun of me for all of that and made jokes about me being gay (not that I was bullied, it didn't get that far, still felt pretty bad for it), and I was really deep (like Narnia-deep) in the closet back then so the thought of others thinking I was gay terrified me (turns out nobody actually thought I was and everyone was shocked when I came out lmao).

I also had some deep internalized homophobia, not about homosexuality itself (my parents are really progressive so I was taught since I was little that there's nothing wrong with it) but with femininity in gay guys.

Back then I thought men were genetically designed to be masculine and women to be feminine (yay, rigid gender roles!!), so I hated flamboyant gay men because I thought they only made things worse for the rest of the LGTB+ community insisting on being feminine when they should be masculine, creating a harmful stereotype (I cringe so much at how I thought back then xD), and so I hated myself for being that stereotype too (I actually wasn't at all as feminine as the stereotype of flamboyant gay men) and thought that there was something wrong with me.

When I was like 14/15 I started to feel more comfortable not being as masculine as most guys were (I think that it was because people stopped made fun of me suggesting that I was gay and I realized most of them thought I was straight) and then a week more or less before my 17th birthday I think I realized that actually I'm not a man, but a non-binary person, and since then I've totally embraced the not-so-masculine aspects of me (if anything, I feel too masculine lol, now I feel bad every time I get read as a straight guy).

Still, you don't have to embrace the femenine aspects of you if you don't want to, but I'd suggest you to reflect on how do you feel about your gender expression beyond other people judging you for not being as macho as society expects you to be. Would you still want to be more masculine even if nobody judged you or treated you different for being like you are right now?

If the answer is yes, the go ahead, try to be the person you envision yourself as in your head!! But if it's no... idk, maybe you should think about if it's worthy to change who you are just to please society. I know it's difficult not being as masculine as people want you to be, believe me, I do, but it's not impossible. Also, if you are into girls, don't worry about never finding a girl who is into you for being this way, plenty of girls are into not very masculine guys, at least I've got hit on by girls several times lol, more times than I've been hit by guys sadly...

It really depends on what is feminine about you. Is it vulnerability and a lack of looking after yourself? Is it a lack of testosterone causing you not to want to be better and more successful?

Girls like testosterone. Sorry, but manly men will often appear more appealing to the standard woman.

But if it’s something like wearing a pink shirt then I don’t think you have much to worry about.

Some vulnerability and some lack of testosterone., I know enough to categorize the both of these as not being Extreme. Just kind of a chill laid back person. I was able to gain 30lbs of muscle though somewhat more difficult than is typical so that at least definitely puts my T levels at the minimum above normal female levels. Mainly what I am getting at is it is not high percentile, I suspect it is at about the average level or perhaps a little below the average level(not a lot or else my progress would not be possible without steroids) due to it being somewhat slower than is estimated though that can also be due to problems with my exercise regimen or with my nutrition, neither approached a theoretically perfect level.

I want to be better and more successful but don't hugely care about a lot of the status things. I don't really want sports car, I don't aspire to be CEO/POTUS, a salary at average or above is sufficient, middle class is enough. I am not really big on luxuries, I want to take a nice vacation sometimes but don't care much beyond that. I would never care at all for status things like membership in the golfing country club for only upper class people. I want to be well off enough to be able to buy things I need and reasonably able to buy things I want. Relative freedom from debt/smartly managed debt. At most on the debt scale I would want to purchase my own home and vehicle but will not aim for 1 million+ homes or a Lambo or anything like that. Nice conditions in a nice relatively safe area is great, and fuel efficient, reliable & functional vehicle is all I ask for.

If I have kids I want them to not do without, I want to only do so when it is financially responsible to do so. My highest aspiration would be job in Silicon Valley that may pay $100k-170k per year, beyond that earning tier I do not care at all. I would do my job but not obsessively chase promotion to go to 200k+. If it happens that they offer promotion I'd say yes.

A lot of the "peacocking" things just aren't relevant to my identity or my ego. I don't stake anything on these things beyond an understanding that I am supposed to avidly chase the "gold watch, designer clothes, Lambo, mansion" like I am some kind of rapper.

What would the threshold point look like where below it a guy should best rule out ever dating? Would I be sufficiently boring and ordinary so as to be below this threshold?

SSJ4_PrestonGarvey, I didn't all the thread - but did you ever do a blood test to check your T? This is the first thing you need to do.

There are way to raise your T levels: nutritions, work out....etc

And don't listen to doctors blindly, consult a nutrition expert instead. viewtopic.php?t=362878

hale_bopp's "Sorry but women don't like the way you are born" responses are very unhelpful and discouraging btw.

Really cool thanks! I will look into getting this done.

I suspect my T level likely are 40th to 50th percentile. Perhaps it is possibly a little above or a little below that range but my feeling is it's less likely. Will be interesting to get this tested.


It is confusing in that it is vague. That much was already evident.

What I am really wondering is do I likely fall below the minimum horizon on being potentially considerable to any non zero degree. Basically if we were to express single men in terms of attraction potential on a bell curve would I be in the segment "Never datable under any circumstances"? I am altogether unsure what size this segment would be for women's point of view but my view is that for men the never datable threshold would be at the most including the bottom 5% though more likely in my view being bottom 1% or 2%.

This would mean being the least datable single woman out of a group of 20 but more likely actually being the worst out of 50 or 100. This is a very slim number as it expresses what I'd estimate the probability of a woman being undateable under any circumstances.

Do you drink a lot of alcohol?

No not very much. Once or twice a month.

I've been drinking alcohol since I was 12. I kind of had to. My parents were controlling every movement of my life, and recruited extended family to police me as well. School was giving 4 hours of homework a night, and my parents were having screaming and crying fits whenever I got a C. (When I got a D on a homework, I started planning a suicide.) Kids at school bullied me. And my stupid therapist didn't help me one bit: she only grilled me about my "feelings", and refused to refer me to someone who can prescribe antidepressants. She didn't do it honestly; she dodged my request in a stupid, yet blatantly obvious way. So I found my own antidepressant: alcohol, stolen from my parents' liquor cabinet or from the wine box in the fridge.

I don't know if alcohol lowered my testosterone and made me look feminine. Probably not by much. If anything, I read that stress has a much stronger effect on a man's testosterone than alcohol does. And if there's one thing aspie men have a lot of in their lives, it's stress.

One other paradox I observed. A man's testosterone level is supposed to drop as he ages. And women really like high-testosterone men. Then why are women responding better to me today than they did 10 years ago? Even younger women. That doesn't mean they lust after me, but they treat me as a respected equal, rather than "that creep I wish would go away". And when they hug me, it's the enthusiastic "you rock!" hug with a squeeze, rather than the "ew, I have to touch that thing" hug.

As a gay guy who's very masculine and assumed to be straight, there are things you can do to present more masculine in appearance with clothing choices, mannerisms etc. But there are also things you can do in life and about who you are that will make you more of a "real man," in thoughts, actions, behaviours, presentation etc.

This book is pretty simple, but it does have a lot of valuable info in it.. especially if the information in it is news to you. Give it a read, you might just learn something about how to "man up," and then find yourself being treated like a more masculine member of society. Despite the cover art it is Not dark and does not preach violence etc. I bought it as an amazon reco when I bought the philosophy book "Might is Right," by Ragnar Redbeard. (Fascinating, but this book is more on point with the things you want to learn & know in order to do & be.)

https://www.amazon.com/Way-Men-Jack-Don ... 0985452307