Hmmm

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Pervs....

I AM the Wolfman!

I admit that I probably made her used to a such routine before, i should be less available.

I wrote two messages in succession, maybe you haven't seen one btw. I tell you just in case.

I saw it, and i'll try so.

I had a genuine doubt that my posting could have been confusing, so I felt like pointing that out. Didn't want to be clingy, you have already your hands full on that side.
But let us know how it goes.

Well said. I was going to write many paragraphs but that summed it up.
Male v female brain.

And as an older woman from dating in the stone age before personal computers, social media, and cell phones, the high from texting along with the high women get from likes on social media is a literal addiction. Same dopamine release. You cannot talk an addict out of an addiction. You can only refuse to enable.

Women, whether they like it or not, also get an oxytocin bonding hormone release with sex. She did not lie about wanting things simple and short term, but her hormones are also talking. And as a woman, I can attest that they are loud. Brains rationalize the hormone messages.

If you wanted long term, I was going to write more. This short term stuff to me is playing with fire given our biology. Can be fun or turn into a devastaing wildfire.

But wouldn’t that also mean the man is trying to change the woman by telling her to do something against her very nature?

Of course, men do that, too.

But it's not as much as a "challenge." There tends to be less subtlety, less grace to it.

It's not that pleasant for the woman. She feels compelled, which takes away a lot of potential delight from the relationship.

Heterosexual problems.

No.

You're a stud, Boo. Deal with it. It's your fate.

Furthermore, why won't you answer my 65,000 text messages?

[/quote]


Because I suspect you want to bath in my blood.

funny but true

Why?

My reply to you apparently never appeared. Try 2 on a new device.
Looking at your posts vs hers
You are concerned about her welfare and being considerate
You are seeking help before assuming she is wrong

Her stuff starting with the text post:
I could not fully read it until I calmed down. it was so abrasive and not even directed at me
The tone is demanding and condescending
No evidence of boundaries
No evidence she is trying to understand you
Truth slap is a pretty harsh wording. I am no softie but that is a challenge that is indirect gut punch.(martial arts trained). Very manipulative and designed to instill your fighting instincts but done so she is guilt free of violence.
Wants to know where you are at all times for her piece of mind? If that was a male, I would tell the girl huge red flag for abuser.
Guys in general don’t like to talk. She wants to date a guy and not a girl, then needs to respect it. Does she have girl friends who love talking? If not, why are you her whole world?
You can never be her source of happiness. If she is not bringing that to the table, the rest of the human race will fail her.
Affection? What is metoo all about? Affection is negotiated and what is mutually comfortable.
No, she is a separate being and her nervous system does not intertwine with yours. Her emotions and responses are her choice. No one makes anyone mad.
Sensitive = I can get away with any fluctuating whim I want

I should qualify.
All the above is from reading her words in context with her described actions. So when other people say similar things like sensitive, it means what they say.


If she knows no other way to care, is she open to learning healthier ways? People can change if given tools and a chance.

So your question about changing her nature. Says a lot about you as the good guy here.
Human nature is to lie, steal, etc
Some people love driving 100mph
We restrain our nature to coexist in peace with others

In the first year or two of being married, my nature was to argue to the bitter end and I thrive on little sleep. I had even a passage in our religious book to support it and a mentoring couple siding with me!
Husband was trying to be a non complaining saint. Sullen and silent.
He finally let loose his feelings not so nicely.
I had a choice. Drop what is right v wrong and see the person in front of me. I chose love and stuffed my nature that wanted to argue at 2am.
Amazing, in the morning, most of the stuff I was upset about was stupid in the light of day.
I learned a truth. Became a better person. He sure was happier.

So no one should change anyone. You offer a choice with clear communication or deal with it the consequences of silence.
You already asked the texting to stop. Likely she is addicted to it. You can enable it or decide to live with it.She was quite clear who she is and what she expects. Is that what you want?
Best part,
If you cave in, I am sure all the guys can share what happens next. She loses respect.
She has expectations no one can fulfill. Then on in search of greener pastures.
So if she wants a guy, she can get help or live on in unrealistic expectations and end up alone.
Success rate of that normal behavior she describes is not so good. It is leading to a high divorce rate.

But if you want a relationship, she has to be able to hear you. If not, up to you how much you can tolerate. I can’t deal with that post more than a few min. at a time.

Love is action
Love is patient, kind, not self serving, not easily angered, no record of wrongs, always trusts, always perseveres
Worked in my 20 plus yr marriage with 6 yrs dating before.

Paraphrase from the Good Book. Wisdom in lots of old texts without having to argue religion.

Women have lost the power of Yin. Feminine yin brings out romance/yang energy.
Never saw it work by bopping a guy on the head to get romance out of them.
Small amount of respect, I found goes a long way.
I get to see a lot of relationships in my work. Good ones have nothing to do with finances, looks, health, disability, culture. But they all laugh together at the good and bad in life.

Long answer. Hope that came across ok.

Last edited by upfromashes on 24 May 2018, 7:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

^^^ I anoint you the Lady Walt Whitman!