I want to date
goldfish21
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I wanted to say that it's the same inconsistency as his pic. I think what many people really want to say with such sentences is "shut up and suck it up, you're so annoying with all your troubles and complaints". I am sorry if anyone is offended but that's just how I perceive it.
By the way here's another relevant quote:
goldfish21
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I wanted to say that it's the same inconsistency as his pic. I think what many people really want to say with such sentences is "shut up and suck it up, you're so annoying with all your troubles and complaints". I am sorry if anyone is offended but that's just how I perceive it.
If that's how you interpreted the buddhist quote then you're mistaken. It means that to want is to be unhappy, strive for not wanting anything and you cannot be anything but happy. Pretty simple concept, incredibly difficult to execute.
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I wanted to say that it's the same inconsistency as his pic. I think what many people really want to say with such sentences is "shut up and suck it up, you're so annoying with all your troubles and complaints". I am sorry if anyone is offended but that's just how I perceive it.
If that's how you interpreted the buddhist quote then you're mistaken. It means that to want is to be unhappy, strive for not wanting anything and you cannot be anything but happy. Pretty simple concept, incredibly difficult to execute.
What Buddhist quote? And what about all these people who are happy in their relationships? It's foolish to think that they all didn't want relationships, but they're still there with their happiness. I feel that for some reason you are taking your opinion that relationships aren't happy as an absolute. Why don't you make a thread asking people about their happy relationships?
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
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I wanted to say that it's the same inconsistency as his pic. I think what many people really want to say with such sentences is "shut up and suck it up, you're so annoying with all your troubles and complaints". I am sorry if anyone is offended but that's just how I perceive it.
If that's how you interpreted the buddhist quote then you're mistaken. It means that to want is to be unhappy, strive for not wanting anything and you cannot be anything but happy. Pretty simple concept, incredibly difficult to execute.
What Buddhist quote? And what about all these people who are happy in their relationships? It's foolish to think that they all didn't want relationships, but they're still there with their happiness. I feel that for some reason you are taking your opinion that relationships aren't happy as an absolute. Why don't you make a thread asking people about their happy relationships?
..the quote about Buddha in the image I posted a few posts ago.
I know that some happy relationships exist. I also know that people don't post about their happy relationships or moments & are far more likely to post about their negative experiences or complaints. Same same for product reviews on the internet, really. Few people who are satisfied with something are going to take the time to post about their positive experience, but nearly everyone with a complaint is going to post a negative review. So, there's certainly negativity bias when it comes to posts and stories about relationships, too. That's a thing, it exists, I acknowledge it.
But there's no denying that there are far more bad relationships for people on the spectrum than good - such is the nature of being socially defective by ASD's very definition, really. It's to be expected.
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it seems that that was taken from the fakebuddhaquotes.com:
https://fakebuddhaquotes.com/a-man-said ... happiness/
goldfish21
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I suppose they know it was fake because they asked Buddha about it, right? lol who cares whether it's something he said or didn't say, really, the point remains the same.
FWIW, my favourite internet quote is very likely falsely attributed to Einstein according to those who've tried to find it's origins & in reality was made up by some guy on the internet years ago.. but it's still a wicked good quote regardless of who did or didn't say it:
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i think it's more due to the fact it's not found in the canon of Buddhist literature
not that he ever wrote anything so who knows what was he saying, if he even existed
goldfish21
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Yeah, true.. but it's one of those things where the value of the quote isn't diminished just because it's likely falsely attributed to some specific human having once said it. The message is still the same, and it's a good one. Not wanting things = happiness. Wanting for things = misery.
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I know that some happy relationships exist. I also know that people don't post about their happy relationships or moments & are far more likely to post about their negative experiences or complaints. Same same for product reviews on the internet, really. Few people who are satisfied with something are going to take the time to post about their positive experience, but nearly everyone with a complaint is going to post a negative review. So, there's certainly negativity bias when it comes to posts and stories about relationships, too. That's a thing, it exists, I acknowledge it.
But there's no denying that there are far more bad relationships for people on the spectrum than good - such is the nature of being socially defective by ASD's very definition, really. It's to be expected.
I don't think that's a true quote. I also don't think that it's only the majority of people with ASD who have bad relationships, but the majority of people in general. However I don't think this is a good reason to stop striving to get a good relationship, the important thing is learning to have a spine and call out BS when it happens. A lot of bad relationships happen because people behave in a egoistical way or are afraid to be alone or are so in love with their SO that they put up with egoistical s**t they shouldn't. I don't really agree with the whole "Hey, if I am not happy because I want something I will just stop wanting it and I'll be happy!"
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
I know that some happy relationships exist. I also know that people don't post about their happy relationships or moments & are far more likely to post about their negative experiences or complaints. Same same for product reviews on the internet, really. Few people who are satisfied with something are going to take the time to post about their positive experience, but nearly everyone with a complaint is going to post a negative review. So, there's certainly negativity bias when it comes to posts and stories about relationships, too. That's a thing, it exists, I acknowledge it.
But there's no denying that there are far more bad relationships for people on the spectrum than good - such is the nature of being socially defective by ASD's very definition, really. It's to be expected.
I don't think that's a true quote. I also don't think that it's only the majority of people with ASD who have bad relationships, but the majority of people in general. However I don't think this is a good reason to stop striving to get a good relationship, the important thing is learning to have a spine and call out BS when it happens. A lot of bad relationships happen because people behave in a egoistical way or are afraid to be alone or are so in love with their SO that they put up with egoistical s**t they shouldn't. I don't really agree with the whole "Hey, if I am not happy because I want something I will just stop wanting it and I'll be happy!"
Calling out others BS is a good way not to fall into an abusive relationship, but knowing the BS you're likely to unintentionally burden someone else with is a good way not to accidentally be that abuser.
What if someone wants something totally unattainable? Like what if someone wants to own a McLaren to drive or a house in Vancouver to live in? Neither is realistically attainable for a normal working class NT person, never mind someone on the spectrum. Ridding oneself of the desire for those things surely would make someone much happier. Removing "want," from things, whether material things or relationships, is guaranteed to make someone feel contented and a-okay with life. Wanting them is a sure fire way to pollute your own mind to the point of anxiety, depression, or exhaustion - no sense in that.
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For that it's important that the two people are able to talk about things without making drama. When I talk about calling out BS I don't mean necessarily to argue, talking and calmly explaining to someone that their behaviour is not correct should be the first step. If they are willing to examine their own behaviour and question themselves they are likely not bad relationship material.
But as you said yourself many times people here are not asking for something unattainable, often they're just too lazy to work for it.
goldfish21
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This assumes that people are capable of discerning what is & isn't attainable, though, and often times not being able to do so may be part of the problem.
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