Learning how to date or be in a relationship

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I would tend to agree with what Beady is saying.

I've had 57 years of experience with dealing with people. I can tell an insincere person a mile away.

The thing I would counsel, in dating, is caution. Meet at neutral spots. Don't go to each other's houses for at least a few dates.

If a guy wants to take a woman's hand, and she wants the hand taken, go for it. But if a woman says she'd rather not take a man's hand yet, the man shouldnt get all upset about it. If he starts with the "pick-up-artist" stuff, run for the hills!

I feel it hit me hard, very hard mentally at the end of 2017, but I like to feel that its only men who need to learn how to get a date or get into a relationship, not the other way around, because c'mon, what type of skills do women need to learn when women don't have to take any action on their part or don't have to make things happen with men on their part, don't have to do the approaching or asking out or take the lead in anything? it looks like everything simply "just happens" for women.

I learned by just stumbling through things & figuring things out along the way. Thankfully all 3 of my girlfriends were willing to put up with aLOT of mistakes from me but they didn't have much experience either.

For me, my first (and only) relationship was like being with a friend, but one that you touch more and have sex with. It is good to be clear with boundaries and requirements early.

In my opinion, dating should be casual - if there is dressing up and roles to play, that does not show reality. I usually go in casual clothes and talk normal to her, try to find out if this is someone i want to spend at least some part of my life with.

Sometimes i've gone on dates just to get some experience dating, but never to someones home, or where there are no other people. Even men can get into trouble with an ex showing up or being set up and robbed. Always meet on neutral ground.

I am old school. In todays world the rules of dating have been dramatically rewritten. It is common in today's world for friends (males and females) to go on group dates. They just go out together and have fun together. This is a no-pressure kind of dating. I don't really understand this approach but I guess it works, maybe.

In the olden days, one might consider dating as a two part process. The first part is meeting someone. This can happen anywhere, at school, at work, in clubs, anywhere. You see someone and get close and initiate a conversation. If the feelings are reciprocated you simple ask them out on a date. This is rather simple unless you are very shy which describes me.

Now the second part is actual dating. This is where things get interesting. There are simple dates such as going out to the movies or going to a restaurant. There are entertainment dates like going to the bowling alley or playing games in the arcade. This can cover a wide range of activities. You can explore the world together. Then there are romantic dates. These take more planning. Generally the planning included picking a romantic location for these dates. Perhaps with a small sense of danger involved. When I was in college I knew how to get up to the roof of the physics building. I would take a date up to the roof at night and we would just sit there and watch the stars and talk for hours. We would talk our hearts out. There was always a sense of danger. The school administration might find out and that added to an edgy sense of danger in doing this. The best locations for this is somewhere outside, where you can see the stars or city lights, a quiet place, sometimes a place where you can hide in plain sight. One of the more interesting places for a date is a drive-in movie theater. Some people would go there to watch movies while many teenagers would go there to make out. If a couple makes out (kissing) in a car, they generate a lot of steam that fogs up the windows. So anyone passing by the car cannot really see inside. It is hiding in plain sight. An edgy sense of danger.

Courtship is typically simple and doesn't need to be learned. People that use trail and error in their courtship are not behaving naturally and typically are neurodiverse. I don't think neurodiverse people should try to learn neurotypical courtship with trail and error. Instead, they should develop a ND radar so they can identify possible partners (Which are not NTs). I practiced ND courtship already in high school, and it worked well because I was completely unaware of how it was supposed to be done.