AngelRho
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Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
05 Nov 2018, 9:38 pm
If not, you’re due for a first kiss. Make it “official.”
Does the first kiss really make it official?
It really just depends. It sets expectations higher.
I won’t pretend to have always been a “nice guy.” I’d make out with some other guy’s gf just because I could. Kissing really does cross the line. If you intend to make the relationship physical, that’s the gateway. I always made my intentions clear: if I was only interested in something physical and not necessarily a relationship that had a future, I was explicit about it.
However, if romance is your intention, the first kiss signals trust and breach of boundaries. It doesn’t mean you’re going to have sex. It just means you’re more than just friends.
If you aren’t seeing anyone else, I don’t care what you say. For all practical purposes, you’re bf/gf already. If you are seeing other people, my opinion is you shouldn’t be physical. Once you break down those boundaries and “give” yourself to another person (in whatever sense), after a few short months, like maybe after 3 months, you should seriously talk marriage. If it’s not going anywhere after 6 months to a year, cut him loose.
But as far as making it official goes, what most people do is have “the talk.” The “what are we?” talk. Or...better yet... Someone has to say “I love you.”
Something like this has to happen:
that1weirdgrrrl: thank you so much for dinner. This has been really nice!
AngelRho: My pleasure! I enjoy spending time with you. While we’re here, there’s something I need to talk to you about.
that1weirdgrrrl: Yes!! ! There’s something I need to tell you, too. But you go first.
AngelRho: ok. So, I think you’re amazing. I realized this a long time ago and just never got the courage to tell you...
that1weirdgrrrl: Wait...
AngelRho: ...that I love you.
[awkward silence]
that1weirdgrrrl: Aw, Rho! You are so sweet...and...um, you see...
AngelRho: what did you want to tell me?
that1weirdgrrrl: Well, Rho, you are so nice and I really like you and all. But there’s this guy and...well, I kissed him.
AngelRho: oh...ok, um...
that1weirdgrrrl: Yeah, and I don’t think we should hang out, like...you know
AngelRho: yeah...oh sure, I get it! That’s great, y’know? Good for you! I guess we can, just, uh...
that1weirdgrrrl: We can still be friends.
AngelRho: yeah, we can be friends. That’s good, too.
Except hopefully you’d have better luck than I would. Make sense?
Speaking of, hey, that1weirdgrrrl, don’t leave us hanging! What happened??? You’re killing me!
05 Nov 2018, 10:06 pm
If not, you’re due for a first kiss. Make it “official.”
Does the first kiss really make it official?
It really just depends. It sets expectations higher.
I won’t pretend to have always been a “nice guy.” I’d make out with some other guy’s gf just because I could. Kissing really does cross the line. If you intend to make the relationship physical, that’s the gateway. I always made my intentions clear: if I was only interested in something physical and not necessarily a relationship that had a future, I was explicit about it.
However, if romance is your intention, the first kiss signals trust and breach of boundaries. It doesn’t mean you’re going to have sex. It just means you’re more than just friends.
If you aren’t seeing anyone else, I don’t care what you say. For all practical purposes, you’re bf/gf already. If you are seeing other people, my opinion is you shouldn’t be physical. Once you break down those boundaries and “give” yourself to another person (in whatever sense), after a few short months, like maybe after 3 months, you should seriously talk marriage. If it’s not going anywhere after 6 months to a year, cut him loose.
But as far as making it official goes, what most people do is have “the talk.” The “what are we?” talk. Or...better yet... Someone has to say “I love you.”
Something like this has to happen:
that1weirdgrrrl: thank you so much for dinner. This has been really nice!
AngelRho: My pleasure! I enjoy spending time with you. While we’re here, there’s something I need to talk to you about.
that1weirdgrrrl: Yes!! ! There’s something I need to tell you, too. But you go first.
AngelRho: ok. So, I think you’re amazing. I realized this a long time ago and just never got the courage to tell you...
that1weirdgrrrl: Wait...
AngelRho: ...that I love you.
[awkward silence]
that1weirdgrrrl: Aw, Rho! You are so sweet...and...um, you see...
AngelRho: what did you want to tell me?
that1weirdgrrrl: Well, Rho, you are so nice and I really like you and all. But there’s this guy and...well, I kissed him.
AngelRho: oh...ok, um...
that1weirdgrrrl: Yeah, and I don’t think we should hang out, like...you know
AngelRho: yeah...oh sure, I get it! That’s great, y’know? Good for you! I guess we can, just, uh...
that1weirdgrrrl: We can still be friends.
AngelRho: yeah, we can be friends. That’s good, too.
Except hopefully you’d have better luck than I would. Make sense?
Speaking of, hey, that1weirdgrrrl, don’t leave us hanging! What happened??? You’re killing me!
Marknis private message me
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
06 Nov 2018, 3:24 am
06 Nov 2018, 11:56 am
06 Nov 2018, 12:24 pm
AngelRho
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Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
06 Nov 2018, 4:20 pm
that1weirdgrrrl
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Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,090
Location: Between my dreams and your fantasies
06 Nov 2018, 5:41 pm
congrats kitty!!
rho is the matchmaker, hahaha.
oooookay, so to answer the question, yes, we did kiss 
but this was like after 6 dates, so i think it might mean more than a first date kiss, lol.
(plus i figure if you've managed to spend that much time together that there's probably some mutual like going on?)
AnonymousAnonymous
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Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 76,346
Location: Portland, Oregon
06 Nov 2018, 5:46 pm
Congratulations! Here's hoping for more dates and a longer relationship! 
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,185
Location: Adelaide, Australia
07 Nov 2018, 12:18 am
07 Nov 2018, 2:06 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
08 Nov 2018, 3:09 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
08 Nov 2018, 3:10 am
08 Nov 2018, 3:33 pm
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
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Location: Adelaide, Australia
08 Nov 2018, 3:51 pm
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
08 Nov 2018, 4:01 pm
09 Nov 2018, 2:54 am
