Break-ups

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If it's ok that I ask, how old were you when you met the first one?

The overwhelming majority of my suffering is self-inflicted; I cling tenaciously to the things I like; desperately wanting them to last forever, or I desperately resist the things I dislike; afraid that they will last forever. Nothing lasts forever.
When I demand that the universe submit to my desires, I suffer, because it doesn't, and never will.
To the extent that I let go of my clinging and aversion and accept things just as they are, not as I wish them to be, my suffering is much less.

Relationships, like everything else, are dynamic, not static. As such, nothing lasts forever. Everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Everything arises because of the causes and conditions that preceded it; everything fades away when these causes and conditions no longer hold. Relationships, like lovers themselves, are living things; they require constant nurturing and cultivation to thrive and whither with abuse and neglect. In retrospect, I actively contributed to many of the causes and conditions which gave rise to the relationships in my life; I also actively contributed to several relationships withering and dying, too. Sadly, the only way to learn to be a good gardener is to kill a lot of plants (and I am not what anyone would call a 'quick study').
Nothing lasts forever. There are causes and conditions beyond my control. Humans are dynamic beings; constantly growing and changing in the process. Sometimes, we grow together when our needs and desires converge. Sometimes, our needs and desires diverge, and we grow apart. That is the nature of living things; no need for resentment or blame. All relationships end. They may leave you today of their own volition; they may leave you after 70 years of marriage when they simply stop breathing, but sooner or later, all relationships end. That's what makes them so terribly precious in this present moment.
When I can accept this impermanence, I suffer less, and value what I temporarily have much more.

The overwhelming majority of my suffering is self-inflicted; I cling tenaciously to the things I like; desperately wanting them to last forever, or I desperately resist the things I dislike; afraid that they will last forever. Nothing lasts forever.
When I demand that the universe submit to my desires, I suffer, because it doesn't, and never will.
To the extent that I let go of my clinging and aversion and accept things just as they are, not as I wish them to be, my suffering is much less.

Relationships, like everything else, are dynamic, not static. As such, nothing lasts forever. Everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Everything arises because of the causes and conditions that preceded it; everything fades away when these causes and conditions no longer hold. Relationships, like lovers themselves, are living things; they require constant nurturing and cultivation to thrive and whither with abuse and neglect. In retrospect, I actively contributed to many of the causes and conditions which gave rise to the relationships in my life; I also actively contributed to several relationships withering and dying, too. Sadly, the only way to learn to be a good gardener is to kill a lot of plants (and I am not what anyone would call a 'quick study').
Nothing lasts forever. There are causes and conditions beyond my control. Humans are dynamic beings; constantly growing and changing in the process. Sometimes, we grow together when our needs and desires converge. Sometimes, our needs and desires diverge, and we grow apart. That is the nature of living things; no need for resentment or blame. All relationships end. They may leave you today of their own volition; they may leave you after 70 years of marriage when they simply stop breathing, but sooner or later, all relationships end. That's what makes them so terribly precious in this present moment.
When I can accept this impermanence, I suffer less, and value what I temporarily have much more.

The overwhelming majority of my suffering is self-inflicted; I cling tenaciously to the things I like; desperately wanting them to last forever, or I desperately resist the things I dislike; afraid that they will last forever. Nothing lasts forever.
When I demand that the universe submit to my desires, I suffer, because it doesn't, and never will.
To the extent that I let go of my clinging and aversion and accept things just as they are, not as I wish them to be, my suffering is much less.

Relationships, like everything else, are dynamic, not static. As such, nothing lasts forever. Everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Everything arises because of the causes and conditions that preceded it; everything fades away when these causes and conditions no longer hold. Relationships, like lovers themselves, are living things; they require constant nurturing and cultivation to thrive and whither with abuse and neglect. In retrospect, I actively contributed to many of the causes and conditions which gave rise to the relationships in my life; I also actively contributed to several relationships withering and dying, too. Sadly, the only way to learn to be a good gardener is to kill a lot of plants (and I am not what anyone would call a 'quick study').
Nothing lasts forever. There are causes and conditions beyond my control. Humans are dynamic beings; constantly growing and changing in the process. Sometimes, we grow together when our needs and desires converge. Sometimes, our needs and desires diverge, and we grow apart. That is the nature of living things; no need for resentment or blame. All relationships end. They may leave you today of their own volition; they may leave you after 70 years of marriage when they simply stop breathing, but sooner or later, all relationships end. That's what makes them so terribly precious in this present moment.
When I can accept this impermanence, I suffer less, and value what I temporarily have much more.