Great examples of subtle hints from females

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I'm 66 and I agree that view is somewhat extreme, but nevertheless an ideal that hasn't actually been abandoned so far as I know. I never dated anyone who held to that view personally, except for one who at the time was waiting for marriage to have PIV intercourse but was more than willing to engage in just about any other sort of sex act. I must add that I tend to hyperbole in my self-expression. Nevertheless, I believe that even today, women are expected to wait until they have met "the one" or something close to it before having sexual feelings. In fact I think this trend became stronger in the 1980s around the time I got married, compared to the 1970s when there was actually some mainstream encouragement for women to be sexually adventuresome.

As for whether this notion is somehow an "American thing" I would say only in the sense that there are some Americans who are very publicly religious and may be unusually outspoken in such beliefs compared to the average person in the UK. Actually from other things you've said, I would judge you more conservative on average compared to American women in your situation that I've known personally (and I've basically never hung out with Evangelical Christians or lived in an area where that sort of thing predominates).

I like to think I'm ridiculously romantic, rather than conservative. I believe in real connections not flings.

To me it's like the difference between having steak or a just snacking a donut. The donut don't really satisfy your hunger.

But, I am quite forward with men. I will make it known I'm interested. I don't mind them knowing I'm human and attracted to them, the fear is that they think I'm too ugly and they'll be repulsed by me in general.

So I'm subtle at first to test the waters. I'm not scared of being called a slut. I'm scared that there's something very obviously unattractive about me and I look like a fool for thinking anyone would want me.

I know some unattractive women and their efforts make us all cringe. I don't want to be cringey.

Many men are turned off to very "forward" women. I think it's mostly societal. It stems from how, in general, men and women related to each other in the past.

If a woman, all of a sudden, sat on my lap, I would be delighted----but a little scared at the same time. I would feel sort of "on the spot," and feel like I have to justify her interest.

I've had women who thought I was a rebellious poet type---only to realize that I'm not so rebellious (I'm a little bit "square"), while still being a poet. They thought I would be into smoking pot and all that; when it was evident that I wasn't, they got turned off. I was once thrown out of a woman's apartment because I was too strait-laced.

Well kraftie... I'm not that forward lol.

I know

I figure that you're more the cerebral type.

I can get the kind of hints if something subtle is said as long as it's coupled with eyebrow raises or something similarly obvious for emphasis. If it's more subtle than that, it's usually lost on me.

While sitting in a very loud restaurant once years ago, "We're having relations tonight.", was said closely in my ear. THAT I understood. I'll never forget that. I'll take direct any day.

I find that if someone said "we're having relations tonight," I wouldn't care for that too much.

I would want the woman to caress me, and whisper "sweet nothings" into my ear, rather than be so bold about it.

I wouldn't consider the woman a "slut" or anything like that----but it's just not my cup of tea.

I really couldn't stand Mrs. Robinson in "The Graduate." She was just really bossy about the whole thing. And she got really nasty later on in the picture.

I used to like older women, yes----but not ones like Mrs. Robinson. More like the lady in "Summer of '42."

^To be clear, Korts, it was in a committed solid relationship and my partner wasn't always that direct. I was more than willing and happy to participate. Plus my mind was filled with exciting anticipation.

I get you, Magna....sounds like a nice thing you had with that lady.

I need to start referring to it as “relations.” For some reason, I find that word hysterical. Maybe it’s just because it’s so old fashioned.

Is talking and expressing interest in what someone has to say a subtle hint? I don’t think I’ve ever done much more than that.

I’ve never gone out of my way to show interest. Whatever interest I had was just expressed naturally, I suppose.

I feel that's a normal part of human relations (not necessarily THAT kind of relations LOL)-----expressing interest in what the other person has to say.

I think that's probably the more common reason nowadays for women being indirect when it comes to sex too.

Using a pretext to ask someone to your room/apartment/home for sex isn't only a female thing though. Men do that too. On a different forum some autistic woman wrote about how a guy she was hanging out with ask her if she wanted to come over to his place for coffee afterwards. She said yes, thinking she'd get coffee and he had an angry outburst because she didn't want to have sex with him and called her stupid for not knowing 'coffee' meant 'sex'.
Not sure if the reason why is exactly the same but not directly mentioning sex but giving another reason why you take someone to your home/room and expecting the other to understand it's about sex is not something gender-specific.

I grew up in a culture where men and women weren’t friends, so I just had to talk to someone and it was taken as a hint. Sometimes I had to avoid talking to people so they didn’t start planning our wedding. (I’m referring to two VERY desperate guys).

Anyway, I’m super shy, so the guy usually has to make the first move. If I’m interested, though, I’ll naturally seem so.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 21 Jun 2019, 10:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

Whatever floats your boat.