Women, Men, Tell us What You Need The Other Sex To Know!.

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When it gets to the point of blaming the man, then it gets problematic.

By the same token, men should seek to understand what women go through better.

This is to everyone not just women

Sometimes I need silence as my head is melting but I will try to push through it so I don't appear rude.

Become a mind reader and know when I need silence and that I'm just putting up with you out of politeness.

Once you like to be indirect then you should keep this for other women instead of being it towards me.

This is mostly about men misunderstanding feminism but it goes for anyone and is only generally about the difference between the sexes.

There are physical reasons why someone who is taller and more muscular will intimidate someone who is shorter and less muscular. That short, less muscular people get scared and take extra precautions shouldn't be seen as a personal insult or a sign someone 'doesn't want equality', rather an acknowledgement of the lack of physical - equality for lack of a better word.

This has consequences for women as well, for eg me and my mum don't go out of the house at night unless my stepdad is with us because we might get beaten up or raped.

It isn't just about the sexes - as you get older or being aspie or if you're disabled or short, you will experience it too. Try not to take it personally, even if you are a 7" muscle man.

Tell me something directly instead of beating around the bush (possibly not a good idea with all women in all situations - never tell me I look fat! Grrr!)

Respect my need for personal space and alone time. Sometimes I need to reboot.

Tell me what’s bothering you so I don’t have to guess why you are in a bad mood.

Approach the relationship like an equal partnership so we can both openly discuss our needs and wants and no one feels like they aren’t being heard or attended to

Love means often having to say you’re sorry!

I'm 5 foot 4 3/4. I know what you mean.

But one must not SHOW that one is intimidated. You have to present a "false front" when you're going out at night in dicey areas. You have to give the impression that you have a destination, rather than being "lost."

I've had to learn how to be common-sensical living in a place like NYC.

Despite my PTSD, I'd rather go out in the dark than in the day. I go with my dog and I feel less exposed or self-conscious than I do in daylight. Of course I don't go wandering around shady areas, but I find the night time much more peaceful, quiet and calming.

Just because a man does not have a monthly reproductive cycle does NOT mean that he doesn't deserve to be grumpy. You know you're going to experience these things and prepare for them, but often a man's pain is unexpected.

Maybe he...

... got cut off in traffic

... got yelled at by his boss

... had to fire a subordinate

... lost or broke an important and expensive tool

... got injured on the job bad enough to slow him down, but not bad enough to warrant a hospital visit

... discovered his best 'wingman' has a terminal disease

... remembered that today is the day that his best friend or favorite relative died

... lost a filling

... ate a bad burrito

... stood by helplessly as he watched a co-worker get taken out on a stretcher

... listened silently while you greeted him at the door with a dumpload of your problems and bad feelings and never once asked him "How was your day?"

Exactly.

[rant=momentary]

My ex-wife would belittle my illnesses and injuries with graphic descriptions of her migraines, menstrual cramps and labor pains. Never mind that I was throwing up and had a 103°F fever. Forget that I had dislocated my shoulder. Don't even think about the fact that I was partially paralyzed from a fall down a flight of stairs.

No, it was all nothing compared to her own past experiences, and how dare I even attempt to complain?

[/rant]

key word = ex wife.

Which is why the rant was only momentary.

The point I was trying to make -- what men need for women to know -- is that just because a woman experiences her own very severe and very real reproductive pains, that does not mean a man has no reason to complain about a case of food poisoning, a torn rotator cuff, or a crushed disc.

Men feel pain, too; and this pain is very real, so PLEASE don't dismiss it merely because it has nothing to do with childbirth!

Those events are not gender-bound. The last one is stereotyped to be a female behavior but I find both genders capable of being emotionally self-absorbed. Typically, men just snap and growl instead of talking too much in comparable situations.

I do respect when my husband is in a bad mood, for any reason, even the weather can be unpleasant. It's normal. We experience it roughly equally. I'm sure his pain after his leg surgery was incomparably greater than my childbirth pains. I never fainted out of pain. He did.

This is a sweeping generalization. It is also a gender-based dismissal of male suffering.

No arguing here please. Free expression, no direct responses That's the essence of this thread.

I don't see how pointing out a possible difference in reaction to distress can be equated to dismissal of anyone's feelings.