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Amity
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03 Nov 2019, 2:58 pm

A bit like BlazingStar, it wasn't until I became resolved to be on my own and happy to be that way that I noticed my beau.

After a year or so I became more accepting of the situation and of the hurt, I grew used to it. I think that was a turning point as it didn't have as much power over my emotions by then.

Move at your own pace, however slow that is, there is no rush. I find taking things slowly to be the best approach for me.

It's good that you know now that you are on the spectrum. I found that it helped me to understand my own needs and in this context to know what I needed in a romantic partner.



Eternal_Enigma
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03 Nov 2019, 4:54 pm

I agree. I am not trying to rush anything. I am not looking for any kind of relationship right now but I do know what I need from another person. I think I have always tried to settle on people in the past. But not anymore. Thanks for the support.



martianprincess
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11 Nov 2019, 11:57 pm

My husband asked me for a divorce a few days ago. But then he's been waffling since then between wanting counseling and that.

I've been through a separation before as well. With kids involved.

So, yeah, I definitely get it.

PM me if you want.


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Teach51
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12 Nov 2019, 12:17 am

martianprincess wrote:
My husband asked me for a divorce a few days ago. But then he's been waffling since then between wanting counseling and that.

I've been through a separation before as well. With kids involved.

So, yeah, I definitely get it.

PM me if you want.



I was hoping that you would be able to go to counselling. Good luck and best wishes to find the best solution for you all.


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martianprincess
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14 Nov 2019, 5:48 am

Teach51 wrote:
martianprincess wrote:
My husband asked me for a divorce a few days ago. But then he's been waffling since then between wanting counseling and that.

I've been through a separation before as well. With kids involved.

So, yeah, I definitely get it.

PM me if you want.



I was hoping that you would be able to go to counselling. Good luck and best wishes to find the best solution for you all.


:heart: You are so kind and we all appreciate you.


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I don't have a horse in your war games
I don't even really like horses
I like wild orchids and neighbors with wide orbits


Archmage Arcane
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15 Nov 2019, 11:10 am

Going to second 'find yourself before you go looking for anyone else'.

@martianprincess - counseling. Maybe the counselor can apply a clue-by-four to his head. If not, maybe in a year or two you'll be where I am (starting over with someone new). Either way, you will survive. I'm out of good terracotta beeswax candles or I'd light one.



HighLlama
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17 Nov 2019, 5:52 pm

Eternal_Enigma wrote:
CubsBullsBears wrote:
Eternal_Enigma wrote:
CubsBullsBears wrote:
I'm really sorry this is happening, especially with the reason why it is. There are people here on WP, on the spectrum, who are in a relationship, so that's one thing you can let console you. :(


The thing is I get it. I can imagine being in a relationship with an aspie especially if you don't have it can be a struggle. But, what I don't understand is that she just seemingly woke up one day and just said OK i'm done. It's just the way she is handling things. And the selfishness and entitlement she has.
But you did say that she wasn't happy for 2 years. Perhaps she toyed you by dragging it on that long.


Possibly, But, she claimed she didn't know!? How do you not know? :roll: I don't know I just keep trying to tell myself that one day someone will appreciate me.


Sounds like she's the one who needs more emotional awareness. But, it's easier for her to blame you. Sorry you're going through this. Not all NTs are so inconsiderate, but I find many seek conformation bias in uniformity, despite thinking they are so empathetic, emotionally aware, and open-minded. I hope you're doing well and not feeling too alone. Good people--NT or ND--are hard to find. I imagine you have a lot of sympathizers here.