Friendship vs. romance?

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I can't tell you what if your primary goal is a relationship. Never been there.

Well, in some sense, when socializing with lots of IT students, I did have it in my mind that chances of finding a man compatibile with me would be highest among IT students... and in the meantime, I was having fun drinking beer and talking nerdy, sharing hobbies and meeting lots of valuable guys in non-romantic sense.

You know, I think the "you don't really meet any members of the opposite sex" is the biggest problem here. Why is it like that? You need to know some number people of opposite sex to be able to find someone compatibile with you.

I just don't really have any avenue through which to meet like-minded women, or women in general, and I don't know where to go to meet women and make female friends.

To be fair, I don't meet that many new male friends or acquaintances either, but I'm fairly satisfied with the ones I have, so that's not really a problem.

What is your mind like? Maybe we could brainstorm something.
I met my husband in a choir. A lot of couples formed there. My parents met on a trekking camp. Some my friends coupled up in church groups - of course you have to be religious for it. My sister met her boyfriend on some traditional dance fair.
The above are all interests that make you meet people. Everyone came here for the sake of itself, primarily.

Yes they do. Nevertheless, my hypothesis is that their concepts of what both friendship and romantic relationships are, in the first place, inherits baggage from an earlier era of sex-segregated friendships (and heterosexual-only romantic relationships), resulting in a concept of both friendship and romantic relationships being such radically different things that one cannot (or should not) turn into the other.

Indeed I wonder if, to some people, the idea of a friendship turning into a romantic relationship might even feel a bit like incest. I don't know whether anyone actually feels that way, and in any case it's not logical. But some people have said things that led me to suspect that they feel that way.


Possibly.


No, the transgender community has existed for decades. See Timeline: A Look Back at the History of Transgender Visibility.


For some women, maybe, but probably not all or even most. I have no idea how many.

I smell a dead horse.

Have mercy on it.

I would go out on a limb.....and say that most couples don't meet in situations where people are grouped together with the explicit purpose of meeting someone of the opposite (or same) sex.

Magz pointed this out very well when she told us how her parents, herself, and her friends met their "significant others."

Poor thing...

Honestly, Boo, I believe you also meet your partners via shared interests.
Just your special interest is sex.

I am a very feeling, hypersensitive person and I have always selected partners by physical attraction. My AS-BFF reports she has a limited set of feelings and is hyposensitive. All her partners have first been friends (briefly).

Me: My husband and I are going stronger than ever after 25 years so it worked fine for me. I wonder if I "turn off" my attraction towards friends or it's just not there? Many of my male friends were frustrated I would not pursue a romantic relationship with them. My current relationship is caring but turbulent at times.

BFF: I view her current boyfriend as a life companion. Her current relationship is stable at all times; I can't tell if it's caring (her BF won't be in the same room as me), it must be in its way.

You are sexually objectifying me.

The forums are a lot more fun to read when you're around

I'm sure you're objectively sexual.

I am Object-oriented sexual.

I am functional sexual

(explanation forthcoming if requested)

Well all my relationships and/or sexual liaisons that might not necessarily qualify as "relationships") began in the context of some sort of mating ritual. I never really had a "circle of friends" and I suspect a lot of males on the spectrum can say the same. I certainly never had close female friends that I can recall. To me the idea of having a good female friend who becomes a lover at some unspecified time down the road is completely alien.

I have to wonder whether everybody here (except for Boo) is being perfectly honest. Or it's possible that younger Aspies who were diagnosed in childhood were then put into situations where they were around others like themselves actually did have this opportunity, although I can also see a lot of problems with two Aspies connecting in this way. In my case, I was mostly seen as a person largely incapable of having close friends, except that in college I managed to mitigate some of the worst consequences of loneliness by joining a fraternity whose members were largely seen as a bunch of losers, and yes I did have a couple of friends there but they were male and I wasn't gay (some of them were though).

But in addition, from what I've seen of how females become romantically (and/or sexually) involved with males rarely has anything to do with what I would consider "friendship". In particular, a woman will meet somebody and feel physically attracted to him. If she is, she may (possibly) act on that feeling of attraction at that time. Now in TV and films, it's a common theme for two people who've known each other for years to unexpectedly fall in love (the most recent example of this that I've seen is the film "Yesterday") but it doesn't jibe in the least with my personal experience, despite many anecdotal examples to the contrary that are likely to be offered.

You are sexually Haskell?