I believe my ex was an Aspie

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Fnord
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23 Dec 2019, 2:09 pm

Lely wrote:
Fnord wrote:
There are many reasons why a man may not be romantically or sexually attracted to a woman -- reasons other than HE may be gay or HE may be ace or HE may be on the autistic spectrum. In fact, there may be nothing wrong with HIM at all! ...
Why do you insinuate being ace or gay would be "something wrong" with him? ...
For the same reasons you did -- if he is to blame, then there is "something wrong" with him, even if that "something" is not inherently "wrong" to begin with. But why do you place the blame on him when we have only her side of the story?


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Lely
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23 Dec 2019, 2:45 pm

Fnord wrote:
Lely wrote:
Fnord wrote:
There are many reasons why a man may not be romantically or sexually attracted to a woman -- reasons other than HE may be gay or HE may be ace or HE may be on the autistic spectrum. In fact, there may be nothing wrong with HIM at all! ...
Why do you insinuate being ace or gay would be "something wrong" with him? ...
For the same reasons you did -- if he is to blame, then there is "something wrong" with him, even if that "something" is not inherently "wrong" to begin with. Why do you place the blame on him, when we have only her side of the story?


I don't blame him. Like you, I suggested to her that his disinterest in physical intimacy with her isn't necessarily explained by autism but could also result from other things, such as his sexual orientation. Sure, maybe he was so lonely that he dated a woman he isn't into for three whole years instead of a woman he could have sex with. Or he had other women besides her. Or her daughter was the cause that he didn't want to be intimate with her. I don't think it's a bad thing he didn't cuddle her. I think it's a bad thing she stayed with him so long, even though she was missing things that are important to her in a relationship, and is now pointlessly complaining about him instead of taking a look at herself. I don't really care if he is autisitc or NT or polygamous o straight or what his reason for his behaviour was. I have clearly written she should ask herself why she put up with it if it was so bad. What is wrong with HER?



TwilightPrincess
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23 Dec 2019, 3:33 pm

So far, it smells and acts like a troll. There’s no diagnosed autism in her story, just bad traits she supposedly assumes are caused by autism. And she’s posting this on a forum for individuals with autism where she can hardly expect a favorable response. Hmmm...


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Teach51
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23 Dec 2019, 3:40 pm

That's what I think exactly


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B19
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23 Dec 2019, 3:54 pm

I'm unaware that "how to perform remote distance neurological diagnosis of a complete stranger you have never met" was part of training for a hairdressing qualification.

Myths abound about AS people, and with respect OP: if you have come here with an open mind to learn that's good, because AS people can help you, but if you have come here driven by personal resentment to offload on AS people, and expect members to respond supportively, it may be another wrong choice for you.