Proof that it’s all down to looks!

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Average-looking guys can always improve their appearance. How many guys who complain about girls only caring about looks actively do something to improve their looks? How many of you would date a plain-looking girl?

Gaining muscle is easy; all you need is a gym and a solid diet. Most men can get the physique of a young David Beckham in a year or so. I'm regularly told I'm good-looking and I get dates all the time (I have dates with three different girls on the upcoming friday, saturday and sunday), but it rarely leads to anything more than a few dates. Before I started weight lifting, I looked nothing special. I'm not rich (few single people are), but I have a well-paying, high prestige job.

I don't think it's down to looks at all. OK younger guys might seem more attracted to women who wear makeup and dye their hair, but in my experience guys tend to go for chatty women with confidence and charisma. Putting makeup on and having an expensive hairstyle makes women look more confident and tricks guys into running after them. Shy, quiet, awkward women don't often get the attention from guys, and if they do it's usually the older guys that go for them, which probably explains why my boyfriend is 20 years older than me.

Even quiet guys (under 45) seem to chase after the loud girls. We have this 24-year-old guy at work who can't get a girlfriend because he's shy and awkward, but he has a crush on this girl at work who's my age - just because she's loud and chatty. And she's already got a boyfriend. She's rather fat and she's not that attractive really but he's just drawn to her outgoing personality. Someone like me he wouldn't give the time of day even if I was single. I just know he wouldn't.

If it was all about looks, our experiences wouldn't be impacted by our autism.

My avatar is me.

I’m not great-looking.

I’m short, chubby, and sort of not charming.

Yet....I’m married, and I had one other fiancée, and I’ve five or so long-term relationships.

Most people who get married and have relationships are not “chick magnets” or ravishing seductresses.

For guys who are good-looking yet aspie: It is down to looks for "initial" contacts - they get the attention, the sex, etc... Women fight over them BUT and this is A BIG BERTHA BUT...after a while, when the initial zing disappears, something is lacking and the women stray or become all-of-a-sudden unavailable. This "lacking" is the lack of the guy's big social circle, things to do, and people to meet. Now, this is the most superficial way to look at this situation. Everybody is different so I'm trying to be general just to explain this. This is why aspie men can't hold on to NT women - these women get bored after they get used to the initial zing. The relationships don't endure.
If you're unattractive and aspie, you will have a hard time in the NT world.

If I had to actually marry somebody, I would prefer if the partner there was slightly to above my physical league.

I ended up with a GF who is way out of my league, but we were friends first for a long time. I had actually stopped bothering about romantic entanglements, I was contented with my hobbies and had a couple of friends I could hang with.

I honestly think a lot of the time it's cause folk try too hard. If you're looking for a long term thing, it's way more likely to last with a person you could just be friends with. I reckon we were all miss-sold this idea that there should be sparks. It vanishes real quick. But sometimes sparks start up a bit with someone you are initially friends with.

I hope I never have to date again, but if I do I'm gonna treat it as "well, worst case I might make a new friend".