Men Want To Hurry Love

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Those people who pull Advance Fee Fraud insult our intelligence.

I feel like Kitty wants to hold on to her money. She wouldn’t fall for that.

Why should they like to waste time?


Be aware that there happens rarely any emotional connection online. Beside of that are there lots of scammers and fake profiles. Only if you have met than you can tell that a person is real.

I've chatted with people from dating sites who were fun to talk to and seemed to be very compatible but when we met up, they seemed not so fun to hang around with in person.

Since I'm looking for someone I like actually physically being with, not just a penpal, I don't think it's a good idea to waste much time talking to someone who won't meet, especially when most people you meet want to have an actual date within a day or so of matching or at least sometime later that week. And it's not about social skills, it's about compatibility and if you feel a connection in person because often you may feel one over the internet but not in person.

Well, this thread makes me feel better about myself. A couple months ago I was talking to a girl on this app for about 5 days, and when I asked her if she wanted to video chat, she unfriended me.

When I met my ex-boyfriend last year in January, we took it slow, he was from a different country, but when I told him I wasn’t ready to meet, he understood, he told me he would wait for me, I was worth the wait. With this guy I met on a different dating app Coffee Meets Bagel, we really liked each other, he was very handsome, he was a pilot, I wanted him, even though I couldn’t pronounced his name right, he was German, we talked on voice chat, he wanted to video chat with me. He wanted to fly to California to meet me. He told me he wanted kids on time & a quick relationship, we got into an argument, i was sooo mad at him, I used the F word. I know men want to rush into a relationship, but it not only about them being selfish, what if a woman is tooo shy to meet right away. People should really really get to know each other, if they meet too soon, it might really be sooo awkward, there may be alot of silence, I met someone out of boredom,we met in public at a coffee shop, it was sooo weird & awkward. I’m not not talking about staying online forever with men, I do want to meet in person, I just want to get to know him a little bit better so when we meet, things won’t be awkward & I want to feel comfortable around him, I also want to talk to him. Right now, it’s hard with the COVID-19. Someone post in L&D about a young woman meeting a older man, they both have children, they took their time in getting to know each other, they waited.

He wanted kids? I assume you mean he wanted a quick liaison and no kids?

I think people are free to go at the pace they're comfortable with

No. They want to hurry sex. Most women want a relationship first. Guys want sex so they hurry the relationship, get the sex and leave things to chance.

The guy I’m talking to, I’m still talking to him, he may not want me, but he want me for a friend.

I don't want to rush into a relationship. I'd rather take my time to get to know someone first.

The problem is in the past, I have often invested a lot of time into getting to know a woman, only to be told months later that she only wants to be friends. I'm fine with making friends, but I wouldn't invest as much time into someone whom I only see as a friend.

So basically, I'm worried that I'll be wasting time on someone. And possibly miss out on an opportunity elsewhere.

A generalisation.
Tut, Tut.

Put a time limit, mentally, for a video call first, and then meet if things are going fine.

That can't be right.

Sounds right, and should be valid for both genders when it comes to online dating.

However, if we talk about real life, then I think this is a ND vs NT issue. NTs want to force things because their ideologiy is that the more people you date the better. This is generally not a preference for NDs, and that's not just because they have fewer oportunities.

This may be true but there are benefits to circulating and putting yourself out there.

Or to invoke an oft quoted christian mantra - god helps those who help themselves.

Focusing on one or two people who happen to be in local vicinity is like accepting your lot that that's all there is to choose from. This is patently not the case.

Yes, agreed. The courtship phase of a relationship is very enjoyable and so you don't want to spoil it by advancing too fast. Once people are talking and in a relationship they tend quit many things they do during courtship and things become boring. I think that if you use extended courtship (years) instead, it wil be a lot more enjoyable, and you might even decide you want to continue with the courtship stuff too since you are so used to it. Another important aspect is that attachment (bonding) in neurodiversity mostly happens during courtship, so if you go too quickly over that phase, you end up with a poor connection that easily breaks.