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Different types of Love

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rdos
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02 Sep 2020, 3:18 pm

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
rdos wrote:
I doubt that any of them describe ND love very well. It's just different ways NTs describe it.

ND love should be:
Passionate
Without expectatiions
Based on a mind-to-mind connection
Based on a strong connection which makes verbal commitments unnecessary
Non-exclusive
Non-verbal


What does non-exclusive mean?


I think it means that each connection is unique, separate and that they don't affect each others. When you are exclusive you decide when things begin and end, and exclusive people cannot handle new connections without breaking off old ones, so there is always a pending risk that things will end almost regardless of how good your connection is.



rdos
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02 Sep 2020, 3:31 pm

Pepe wrote:
rdos wrote:
I doubt that any of them describe ND love very well. It's just different ways NTs describe it.

ND love should be:
Passionate
Without expectatiions
Based on a mind-to-mind connection
Based on a strong connection which makes verbal commitments unnecessary
Non-exclusive
Non-verbal


I disagree.
I need verbal feedback without distortions via white lies, etc.
I don't have Theory of Mind, so I need verbal communication to verify we are on the same page.
Making assumptions doesn't work out well for me.


Theory of Mind is an NT concept that has little relevance for ND relationships. A mind-to-mind connection means you cannot lie and that you can communicate without talking, which is what I prefer in a relationship. I especially appreciate automatically knowing how my loved one is feeling without having to ask about it or have her tell me.



Pepe
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02 Sep 2020, 5:44 pm

rdos wrote:
Pepe wrote:
rdos wrote:
I doubt that any of them describe ND love very well. It's just different ways NTs describe it.

ND love should be:
Passionate
Without expectatiions
Based on a mind-to-mind connection
Based on a strong connection which makes verbal commitments unnecessary
Non-exclusive
Non-verbal


I disagree.
I need verbal feedback without distortions via white lies, etc.
I don't have Theory of Mind, so I need verbal communication to verify we are on the same page.
Making assumptions doesn't work out well for me.


Theory of Mind is an NT concept that has little relevance for ND relationships. A mind-to-mind connection means you cannot lie and that you can communicate without talking, which is what I prefer in a relationship. I especially appreciate automatically knowing how my loved one is feeling without having to ask about it or have her tell me.


I disagree.
Your way apparently works for you,
But it doesn't work for me.
Perhaps it is a spectrum thingie. <shrug>

"If you meet one aspie, you have met one aspie." 8)