Is there hope for me or should I give up? (2nd time I ask)

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15 Dec 2020, 2:47 pm

^^^live your life as best you can figure out how to do, discern better advice from worse advice, work on yourself first until you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, "baby, i may not be first prize but i'm damned good and I LIKE ME!" and eventually somebody else will notice, but people are always subtle in their affections for anybody but rock stars, so you have to elevate the odds by being at the right places [NOT cooped up in front of the puter] where people such as yourself may occasionally go, and to remove the horse blinders and look around.

The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Dec 2020, 4:11 pm

Marknis wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Honestly I think you should give up, and focus on other areas in life.

But what if focusing on those areas leads to a relationship? What would you tell me then?

I would be then happy for you and congratulate you.

funeralxempire
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15 Dec 2020, 4:21 pm

Don't give up, but deprioritize it so you can focus on other areas (as though you've given up). So what's the difference? Not abandonning hope that things might ever change.

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CockneyRebel
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16 Dec 2020, 9:35 am

Never give up.

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The Family Schlager

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16 Dec 2020, 11:20 pm

There is hope if you want there to be. If you rather stop fighting to have hope, then no there isn't. Others can believe there is hope or not but it's irrelevant if you choose to believe differently.

Whether or not there is hope is kind of a philosophical question but not all that helpful realistically. Because even if there is hope but no action to improve odds, it doesn't mean much.

Fixation on getting a girlfriend doesn't help you. As others said you need to redirect your focus to other parts of your life. Improve who you are, and how you live. Improving these things will also improve your appeal, self-esteem, and your odds.

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Marknis
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19 Dec 2020, 8:59 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Marknis wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Honestly I think you should give up, and focus on other areas in life.

But what if focusing on those areas leads to a relationship? What would you tell me then?

I would be then happy for you and congratulate you.

I just fear that focusing on other things won’t bring instant changes in my life and I could wake up as an old man before I finally meet a potential girlfriend or I’ll go through what someone who I’ve talked to who is 60 went through. He spent his youth as a musician and an actor but it didn’t bring any relationships to him. In fact, he suffered a 100% rejection rate from women.

AnonymousAnonymous
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28 Dec 2020, 7:35 pm

Continue to maintain a sense of determination.

DO NOT GIVE UP!

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28 Dec 2020, 8:35 pm

be more stubborn. show some fight.

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28 Dec 2020, 10:06 pm

Women in general like someone who is presentable...I mean: good higiene, well-dressed, good quality cologne...Men do not necessarily have to be handsome nor physically fit nor tall to attract a lady...In my younger years, i met more than one who compensated what they were lacking with charm and a good sense of humor...Ironically, they ended-up with the most beautiful ladies...Maybe they were not truly self-confident; but they appeared to be...If charm (as in a great personality) and a good sense of humor are not characteristics of the typical Aspie, then the Aspie should act mysterious...This can be extremely attractive to certain ladies... :wink:

For your information, Aspies generally end-up--consciously or not--with NTs who are socially adepts, very maternal, and not at all avoidant...Whether Aspies know this or not, they are sub-consciously looking for someone who complements them...And a complement is not necessarily "opposite"...It basically means that one is strong where the other is weak and vise-versa...I dare say, this is the secret to the success of some marriages, NT marriages and neuro-diverse marriages...

Please DO NOT give-up...My beloved (Aspie) husband had failed in two serious relationships...Until he found ME :wink: A social butterfly, very maternal, and not at all avoidant...I pray every-day for our marriage to succeed...Best wishes to you in your quest... :heart: :heart: :heart:

auntblabby
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28 Dec 2020, 10:18 pm

i HATE colognes/perfumes. :eew:

Steffipanda
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28 Dec 2020, 10:31 pm

auntblabby wrote:

i HATE colognes/perfumes. :eew:

Agreed, I taste perfume/cologne in the air and it is horrible. Also I am allergic to many perfumes and such.

old_comedywriter
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28 Dec 2020, 10:33 pm

If this is the second time, you obviously didn't give up.

Keep posting and not giving up.

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Clueless2017
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28 Dec 2020, 10:36 pm

auntblabby wrote:

i HATE colognes/perfumes. :eew:

... ... ...
I am highly allergic to poignant smells including certain body lotions, perfumes, colognes, etc...My beloved (Aspie) husband loves his expensive colognes...Some i can tolerate and some i cannot...So, he knows to hug me BEFORE he puts on his cologne everyday...Thank God...