Are men

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We doff our hats and let the lady go first.

Short one-liner answers are smarter, no offence.

Basically agreement was meant to be implied as you both basically. Said very close to the same thing , sorry Fnord

I imagine there is a variety depending entirely on the individual, some being selfish lovers and others taking a great deal of care to satisfy their lover and everything in-between.

Makes you wonder where all the unselfish lovers have gone ?

And I think it safe to say that there is that same variety within an individual too.
Can remember various times during our 6 year marriage when I was each of those ways and when Kathy was too.

I said nothing.

Last edited by r00tb33r on 24 Mar 2021, 12:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

Congradulations on having found someone like that , ! However long the relationship existed . sounds wonderful
Kites ...

Last edited by Jakki on 23 Mar 2021, 11:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

These lips are sealed.

Last edited by r00tb33r on 24 Mar 2021, 12:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think ASD people are less likely to conform to stereotypes, or to pretend to.

Sometimes that is a good thing, sometimes not.

It definitely creates confusion, even when the stereotypes being subverted are themselves ridiculous.

It had its wonderful moments but ended in 2011 in a somewhat non wonderful condition.

Very sorry to hear of this ...... sad when things like that dissolve . Lost a husband just a few years before that.
Myself , a very special relationship .

Perhaps you could start a poll to see if they actually exist or are just a myth.

And now at no additional charge we bring you some totally unsolicited self-observation, and perhaps even self revelation;

Given the state of my health with a constellation of neurological, endocrine, musculoskeletal, and mitochondrial, diseases and dysfunctions adding up to reduce the amount of physical, and mental, energy my body can produce to about 1/3 to 1/4 of what it used to be, I'm not sure I would simply have enough mental energy to learn a new sexual partner's needs, wants, desires, preferences.

There are a lot of times any more that just simply gluing two model parts together drains my mind from the focus required; or, that my mind doesn't have enough energy to focus enough to drive. On really bad days a page of print might as well be ink spatters for all my mind can make of it. Then there was the time before I had to stop working where one day at work I totally completely and fully forgot how a work tool I had used for two decades worked and I was right in the middle of using it; also couldn't remember where home was or our phone number.

And with that being the case it seems entirely possible I might default to selfishness because my mind simply can't process consideration for my partner at times.

I don't know about just being a virgin necessarily, but I think it's plausible that being romantically and sexually inexperienced over a very long period of time despite an intense desire to explore romance and sexuality could have a more profound impact for some people. Being on a couple of autism forums and a forum for people who are perpetually single despite desiring romantic and sexual relationships (not an incel forum), and having experienced this stuff first-hand, I can tell you that not only can being trapped in this situation be so distressing that it can push people to think about and/or want to commit suicide, I'd go as far as to say it has a tendency to do so.

I think there's a member here who has experienced both rape and a near-perpetual lack of romantic relationships and sex. I'd be interested in his perspective on which is more personally impactful, and whether it's even close.


Obviously people need to accept that not everyone will want to have sex with them, but depression and low self-esteem are often the result when no one will. At least in some cases with this situation, expecting people to just get over it and move on is pretty much the same as telling a depressed person to "snap out of it".

I don't think you really understand how impactful complete romantic and sexual exclusion can be, and that's fine, I wouldn't expect you to if you've never experienced it, but I don't think it's appropriate for you to try to quantify its impact and tell people to just move on when you couldn't possibly understand what it's like.

I think the OP is talking about the ability to give orgasm.

You should find a man who’s into fingering and giving oral; and good at it. But talk, don’t expect them to read your mind.