Ever loved somebody that doesn't love you?

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You rock. I also believe that for love to be at its best, it must be returned. Lesser things aren't necessarily not love, imho, but romantic love, perfected, must include reciprocity.

I thought I loved somebody unrequited once. Or crushed, really. But it turned out he liked me all along.

There are two people I love dearly, and with whom I cannot be. Those feelings share a bit with unrequited love, I think.

Quadroveus, for what it's worth, here's what I think: no, you should not tell this person you love her. Whether or not you should be her friend or cut contact depends on your needs. If you feel that this person's presence in your life is making you sad and holding you back, then stop the friendship. If you think that your heart can handle the closeness and her presence impacts your life in a positive way, stick around. But yeah, if you're sure she doesn't like you back, no good will come from confessing your feelings to her.

Agreed, as a kid I used to do myself that disservice and I'm so glad I stopped. The other end of the situation though, not what the original poster intended though, I can imagine there've been plenty of aspies who've gone through that drawn out and excruciating period of having a significant other slowly estrange themselves - that's a mess even NT's can emotionally get trapped in, start loving them more, wanting them back, and of course that very fact pushes them away even farther.

Very true, though I think what a lot of guys here lack as well is that they don't hold themselves out to a woman they like as equals nor do they mirror them as equals or project that 'I can relate to you' sort of vibe and say the things that make it work. Its true that I've been shy, I caught so much emotional trauma in my past that it became neurological trauma - now regardless of confidence, unless I've got a good buzz on and the atmosphere is that good I'd have real trouble approaching someone just to talk to them, not out of fear of possible rejection but because I'd know that if I did feel a certain level of nervousness I'd know that my tension would almost assure rejection even if they themselves wouldn't have rejected me; eye contact also gets a lot harder at that point to just because it takes so much more processing not only to be able to read them but to try and manually summon up the right facial and emotional responses and not have it look fake or disingenuous - one of the reasons why I have a hard time not drinking when I'm out, for the most part and especially if I've had lots of good social interactions with my friends, a lot of that really goes away.

im there right now...

im tryin to go the friend route... though it's very hard... especially since i dont have any other distractions to speak of.

I have had this happen numerous times.

Tim

Sort of had strong feelings, whatever that was. Not sure if I felt it was love at the time. But I don't think I have yet. I don't really think like that. I have a hard time letting someone close to me. No doubt I'm besotted right now. I've made mistakes in the past that showed how easy it is to get stuck on one person even if they are not so amazing after all in hindsight. This one is different, I wasn't sure for a while but I don't want to get hurt, which is a pretty lame thing holding me back. I need to how less doubt in myself. If I get knocked back, it probably would hurt just got to take that risk.

I suppose unlikely I could imagine myself knowingly having unrequited love. I just hope I'd be able to convince myself eventually that it is self defeating.

Yes.
Acutely painful, to say the least.
Especially when they live around the corner.

Yes, other than being the best feeing in the world (the love aspect, that is), it is simultaneously the worst (the unrequited part).

I never experienced unrequited love. Never. For one reason or another, I was always able to stop myself from liking a girl if I knew I had no chance with her. As a result, I'm the only one in my group of friends who never had a broken heart. Furthermore, I gave up on relationships entirely, and instead rely on escorts (once a month or so) to get my sexual fix. As for "love", I don't believe in it, and have no need for it whatsoever.

Yes, and we don't necessarily grow out of having crushes once we get to 18 or 21.

No-one has ever loved me. I've had two deep crushes in girls that felt somehow different from others in a way I'm attracted to. Both's answer was "we're too different."

Nope.

As I now know what love actually is, this has never happened to me. I have had feelings for someone that has not felt the same for me in return many times. I thought I loved them at the time, but I realise that, looking back, it was merely a crush or infatuation with that person. And yes, it does hurt.

yeah a few times
mind you I am not very lovelable (I don't even love myself)

I'll disagree with Lady Macbeth.

You can love someone even if they are not in love with you. It usually happens among people
who are in fact already friends.

The difference between love and obsession is that if your obsessed with someone
your highest priority is your feelings without regard to theirs.

True unrequited love is rare, but its when you love someone so much that you truly want them to
be happy even if its not with you.

And I'll disagree with you.
Friends already love one
another. It's just a matter of
the love taking a different turn.