Is 40 the magic number?

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Mind games are played to determine the suitability of a mate -- subjective standards apply.

As people grow older, there are fewer candidates that can meet or exceed those standards; thus older people tend to settle more often for "good enough" rather than "perfect".

The amazing thing is that these older couples seem to stay together longer than the younger, more "perfect" couples.

I think it's a matter of being able to "afford" higher standards for yourself and a potential mate. As we age, we're used to being more mature ourselves, so we can see more potentials than we can at a younger age. It's like they say, "There's Mr. Right, and then there's Mr. Right Now." Young folks are looking for Mr./Ms. Right, think that's what they're getting, and who they end up with isn't exactly what they expected--for any number of reasons, but I'd say they're probably blinded by thinking they can change someone into Mr./Ms. Perfect that they miss all the red flags.

Whereas an older person's perspective is colored by experience and can see that any number of people fit Mr./Ms. Perfect and that the number of unsuitable or even downright dangerous people aren't as numerous as younger folks imagine them to be. I don't mind admitting women more often found me creepy. I haven't really changed all that much as I've aged. Perhaps I "grew into myself" and acquired more conversational habits. The company I keep is an older crowd, and they never seem to have any problems with me. It was a rare kind of woman who'd give me any kind of chance at all when I was younger, and I found the kind of girl who wanted to be around a guy like me back then often ended up NOT being the kind of girl I'd want to spend much of my life with. OTOH, "quality girls" that I knew more often ended up with guys that were not so high quality.

It used to upset me, and had "Chad" meant back then what it means now, I'd probably have used that word frequently and often. Aside from the security of being in a great relationship for the past two decades, I've also gained the security of not having an identity that depends on being in a relationship. I was prepared to live alone if no decent woman would ever want me. I could still do it if I had to. I think the older you get and the more that could be reality for you, you find there are more reasonable possibilities than what you might have limited yourself to as a young person.

↑ I think you may have simply expanded on the idea that older, more mature people tend to be happier with "Good Enough" than younger, less mature people tend to be with "Perfect".

I just mean that the meaning of "Perfect" expands to include more than one single person or even one type of person. "Good enough" is just settling for what's available. I don't think a willingness to settle is something that increases with age.

Perhaps with some folks it does. But I don't think being open to more than one person or type of person makes any given person or type less perfect.

Although...if we're being completely honest, the "perfect" human being doesn't exist. I think "ideal" might be a better word, but never perfect. Perhaps it's more difficult for younger people to understand that about themselves and others.

I still think we are saying essentially the same thing, but from different perspectives.