Is looking for autistic women a realistic option?

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Why should you put your eggs in any basket? Unless you're a player the only basket that matters is the one person you're going to date. They're are not a category, a label, or a condition. They're an individual.

When you meet someone you like you will be faced with the reality that they're the way they are, and not exactly the way you had hoped for and planned.

Planning and theorizing in dating is pointless. Everything comes down to a chance.

That doesn't mean that it's an excuse for doing nothing, it's still your responsibility for making yourself an attractive date.

I'm not talking about any individual, but rather where to look to find someone.

I’ve had three relationships with people from my job.

Better sources, though, are classes, lectures, through friends.

How about those continuing education courses and lectures that you must take as a professional person?

It doesn't sound like you're necessarily being asked to restrict yourself, just that it may be an option to consider that potential romantic partners who've had comparable life experiences may have that extra degree of compatibility.

My own experiences have - anecdotally, to be sure - led me to believe there is some seed of truth in that. And people who've been attracted to me, in turn, have by and large turned out to be autistic in greater proportion compared to the general population, even if they weren't diagnosed (or even aware of the possibility) when we met. So perhaps the ability to say "Oh thank goodness, I'm not crazy, there are actually other people out there like me, what a relief" is something of a factor. So is being able to regularly talk with (or come home to) a person who thinks the way you do inherently, someone you don't have to be constantly explaining your own mindset to. Someone who just... gets it, meaning that at least to some point they get you, and you can laugh together about how other people think, and be genuinely supported in who you are and how you react to things because they are like that too.

I know it's certainly something I've tried to bring to relationships, particularly with people who had been hammered on their entire lives for being 'different'. I could show them that hey, you're not alone, you have me and I'm like you; I'm not just humoring you or loving you without true understanding; this is a real thing for people and it is OK; you are not a bad person and you did not deserve all the things you went through (and are often still going through).

From my own perspective, I do find many characteristics stereotypically common to the 'autistic mindset', such as it is, fairly attractive. An ability to ruthlessly pare back fluff to assess the underlying logic, an affinity for patterns, the lack of desire for what might otherwise be considered quite a few social 'necessities', the laser-like focus on new areas of information or skills. I quite expect anyone I end up with for any length of time to have at least some area of interest, and possibly several, where they can completely whip my ass, whether that be a STEM topic, or an area of art, or creativity, or the ability to perform some particular skill or skillset. It may well even be something they never considered to be a skill or 'useful' set of knowledge, but can slap together half a doctoral dissertation on it in six minutes flat. It's amazing, some of the things out there hidden in people's brains.

...so, what's YOUR favorite dinosaur?

Anyway, if you're looking for where to find people... online isn't bad; a lot of us are more comfortable behind a keyboard than at a social meeting. Other places - the workplace, particularly if it's one which has a work-based more than a social focus; special-interest-group meetups; pop-culture conventions are a possibility but it's easier to use them as a basis for looking into (and perhaps joining or attending subsequent meetings of) local special-interest groups than socializing actually at the event. Um... night classes and workshops for specialist or technical skills or knowledge (and this can be any subject at all) - though again, not for super-heavy socializing. Open university lectures or one-subject exhibition days which are more about knowledge dissemination than meet-and-greets, perhaps.

Well, I think that settles it then.

Because the universe arbitrarily chose me out of millions to forever ruin my life, through neither fault nor control of my own, neither NT not ND women will ever want to be with me. I'm going to alone and unloved for the rest of my life because I'm a goddamned freak.

Sorry that my need to stim is a "huge turnoff", or that my occasional meltdowns caused caused by my disabilities coupled with a lifetime of trauma and abuse scare you.

Ugh, here we go. Autistic people like honesty and direct answers. You be honest and direct with them and they get all offended and take it to heart. No wonder NTs lie. I'm with the NTs on that one. It's easier to lie and keep people happy than to tell the truth and offend everyone.

You said you'd like to see women's perspectives, so I gave you mine. How I feel isn't the same as every other woman (Aspie or not) on this planet feels. I'm not saying you (and all other Aspie guys) are undesirable or unworthy of love. It's just MY opinion on the matter. I wasn't criticising you or telling you to change.
I'd like to hear you have a girlfriend. I hope you do find a girlfriend.

You've been talking about this for at least a year now.

I'm sure at some point someone brought up to you finding a foreign woman. Have you given that much thought?