How did you go about broaching the subject of the phone calls?
Imo the best way to have approached that would have been not to focus so much on the phone calls themselves, but more the fact that you felt neglected or left out. If you make it all about the phone calls, she'll probably feel like you're trying to control her and stop her speaking to her friends.
Something to the effect of "Hey, I know you like talking to people on the phone, and I understand and respect that, but the last time we hung out, I felt like we didn't really get to do much together. It'd make me happy if in future, we could arrange to spend dedicated quality time with each other at least for some of the time we hang out."
The thing about the kid she thinks is hers is pretty strange.
CubsBullsBears wrote:
Ya know who else I'm pissed off at? The people she talked to on the phone who never once told her that she should just get of the phone and hang out with me. Instead they enabled the problem that ended our relationship.
*slams head into wall in frustration*
Ok, that's pretty silly. It's not the responsibility of her friends to be monitoring how much time she's spending with you. The fact that you think her friends would or should even be thinking about that is strange. Especially when they're communicating through phone calls and they don't get to see how low the proportion of time she was actually spending with you was. I assume that they don't know how many hours you're actually spending with her at any given time.
1. I think I did tell her the first time and I especially know when we had our last convo that it wasn’t that she was talking to “friends and family” but that she was doing it for the majority of the time we were hanging out.
2. Well, she was telling them that she was with her boyfriend. And if her grandma could call her out on it so can her friends. Them just going along with it is like if no one called me out for having multiple girlfriends.