Reasons for not being interested

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I got into the 3 relationships I've had by woman making the 1st move online. Me & my 1st gf were online friends who met on a forum for a common interest & we've had some various things in common like dyslexia & ADD/ADHD. I met my 2nd & current gf on this forum.

I've had no luck trying to ask out women offline but I knew them a little bit 1st. Some actually had thought I was gay & were shocked I made a move on em I think the main reasons other women rejected me offline were because they thought I was too disabled, I was too awkward, or they did not like me in that way aka no spark or chemistry & they just saw me as a friend.

I tried lots of dating sites & various forums to meet women but did not get so much as a date except for the 3 cases I've mentioned. I think the major reasons I was rejected online were because I was too desperate, too needy, too depressed, too negative, & I did not have my life together enough due to being disabled. Also some people online actually accused me of being a misogynist & a potential wife beater & rapist despite me being a male feminist, on the asexuality spectrum, & me being very skinny & weak & barely able to throw a punch when I was being beat up as a kid People accused me of being too negative & too judgemental despite me being judged & accused of horrible things that did not make sense & are NOT me I knew a couple women online who woulda been willing to move in with me if I had my own place at the time but I did not. They did not have a good stable place to live & seemed like nice women who woulda appreciated a guy who really cared & tried.

Maybe the woman in question might have been severely verbally or physically abused.

Based off of the information you provided, it seems you have been "cold approaching" women, which barely ever works unless you're off the charts hot, or have some serious charisma that could knock a lady off her feet. I'm sure you possess some great and attractive qualities, but I personally believe it is important to give a woman a taste of what you're like as a person before asking her out romantically.

I think it would be worth your while to meet women through similar hobbies or groups or forums like this one. Even groups in real life if possible. Let the personality shine, and the right lady might just show up. I remember when I was in high school, I developed a crush on a guy only after talking to him, because we really "clicked". I'm not sure why, but it felt really good to just talk to him. Before that, he was simply the skinny dude with glasses who I passed in the hallway every now and then. We never dated, but I'm glad I got to know him a bit.

Thanks for all the replies mates.

I think the main problem is I simply have done it in the wrong place. I asked women out mostly in the street/bus/public places and that probably was an uncomfortable place for the women.

Can you guys please explain if you think the chances are higher if I try at workplace / college / studies?

Are there generally any problems / restrictions with that in some workplaces / educational places?

I havent asked employee ever about this subject, so I dont really know, and it can also vary from workplace to workplace.

Other than that, I have a feeling some women are just not in a "hurry" to be in a relationship, or not in a "hurry" to find a boyfriend in generally. Thats not always the case, but I have a feeling this was the case, atleast sometimes. How do I know? I looked at their face and kind of find out by that... and also by the way she talked / behaved / reacted to things.

Try being friends with women first. Why are you in such a hurry?

Think: slow and steady wins the race.

When strangers ask me out, the answer is always “no.” Maybe I would’ve agreed to hang out in a public setting if “sparks were flying,” but that has never happened to me.

Most of the time, those situations feel like the other person does not have great motives. If I already know and like someone, I might feel like they value me as a person and that they aren’t just desperate for sex.

I wouldnt bother in the workplace as the downsides are extreme. You become the subject of gossip and might not feel comfortable there again

FWIW, I echo these sentiments.

To be fair, a lot of women get hit-on on a regular basis. Most are pleasant when rejecting a man's advances but some can get sick of the attention and be a little more direct.

Just because people are “pleasant” doesn’t mean that they aren’t uncomfortable or “sick” of it.

I tried the whole cold-approaching thing in my late teens, and all it ended up doing was worsening my confidence issues and self-esteem.

It's not a good strategy, unless perhaps you're particularly charismatic and/or good-looking, or in an environment where it's more socially acceptable like maybe a bar.

People going about their day tend to not want to be approached by random strangers, and in the case of an unknown man approaching a woman, safety concerns may arise for the woman. There are guys who won't take no for an answer, and the woman you're approaching can't know whether or not you're one of them when you approach her.

I think because the average man can physically overpower the average woman, a woman generally needs to feel safe around a man before she's likely to be comfortable enough to even consider his advances.

I certainly didn’t succeed in that method.

That avenue is also closing up
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/food/ ... 7941231d93

It's becoming harder for single/unattached straight men to approach women without risking being accused of harassment.
Most men have to do the math in their head (a kind of risk assessment) before introducing themselves

I saw that article. That's just one nightclub though. I don't think one club implementing that rule is necessarily indicative of a trend. If other clubs start to follow suit, then I'd be more inclined to agree with you


It's a real shame that there aren't a lot of good options for people, especially introverts, who are specifically interested in dating to meet prospective partners.

I wish it was easier for single guys to find partners so there wouldn’t be a need to approach strangers who might be made uncomfortable by these sorts of encounters.

Normally, it’s not a great idea to ask complete strangers out on dates. It’s better to find opportunities to build friendships.

A “cold approach” is not necessary or needed. It rarely works.

I never openly called behavior “harassment” even when it was decidedly harassment because doing so would not have felt safe.

If a woman is expressing no interest in someone and isn’t flirting or smiling at them (beyond basic politeness), it’s safe to say that she should not be asked out on a date. She’s probably not interested.