My heart feels weird......

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jfberge
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09 Aug 2007, 10:53 am

Sedaka wrote:

you know how sometimes when you're hungry and you dont want to eat ANYTHING that you have at the house (or could order-out or w/e)?

that's how my heart feels... not about food... but about love.

Im so stymied... i cant work or relax.

That very neatly describes my last several months. My wife left me about a year ago, and lately I've been half-heartedly looking for a girlfriend. There are plenty of available girls in town, but none that I can relate to, and want to get closer to. At best, I'd like to make out with one or two, but nothing more. I don't want to entangle my life with these people. I just want to find one that I can feel comfortable lounging around and hanging out with.

On a plainly physical level, you've got to draw a steady stream of attention. What's keeping you from eating some of that low-hanging fruit? Is what you're seeking not available, or are you not looking very rigorously?

MrMark
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09 Aug 2007, 11:29 am

calandale wrote:

Vodka can help.

...and you would criticize others for giving bad advice...

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Beenthere
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09 Aug 2007, 11:29 am

Quote:

realizing that sentiments are not returned... they could be someday... but realizing right now that im not taken seriously.. but taken for granted.

Don't waste your time waiting for someday...because in the end you usually end up with alot of wasted time.

If you're not being taken seriously, and you're being taken for granted...you are letting it happen...stop it. Tell toxic people where to go, give them a map if need be, make yourself unavailable.

Their is so much more to life, it's not worth it.

Take care.

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Sedaka
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09 Aug 2007, 12:34 pm

jfberge wrote:

Sedaka wrote:

there's plenty of fruit on all levels within my reach...... just not that shiny red apple i want

bah circles and circles pacing round and round

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Sedaka
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09 Aug 2007, 12:36 pm

MrMark wrote:

calandale wrote:

Vodka can help.

...and you would criticize others for giving bad advice...

i know he's joking as i have prolly had more in depth conversations with him on this matter than anyone else

thanks for the look out though

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Sedaka
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09 Aug 2007, 12:38 pm

Beenthere wrote:

Quote:

realizing that sentiments are not returned... they could be someday... but realizing right now that im not taken seriously.. but taken for granted.

i know... im just at that nauseating point of intertia swtiching on me

having never halfway loved anyone (i dont date)

i just dont know what to do with myself

i could hurt a few people for sure with all this aftermath...

but i dont have the gumption to do that again either

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Sedaka
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09 Aug 2007, 12:41 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:

Sedaka wrote:

I feel like this very often, and I don’t know anyone else, in my every day life, who does. I feel like I can’t survive a week without someone, but I have to survive years.

It is not about feeling love sick, wanting someone to talk to, low self esteem, or even sex, it is about finding a way to get rid of this void. Needing someone is to well ingrain in some of use. Fighting it by thinking is like trying to think away a toothache.

Mother nature surely does not care about our happiness, so happiness will never be the end goal of nature. I am not going to go into the evolutionary advantage of loneliness, as I am too depressed.

i hear ya.

im sure many people you know actaully do feel the same.

most people dont know that i feel as i do... i am very private

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Phasianoraptor_hirvisaloi
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09 Aug 2007, 1:31 pm

The pulses get slower in depression. That's my own discovery. I've been depressed enough to wish my heart to stop altogether.

jfberge
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09 Aug 2007, 1:37 pm

Sedaka wrote:

there's plenty of fruit on all levels within my reach...... just not that shiny red apple i want

Well, that's something. I think my apple's on the ground somewhere, miles away from here. I have no idea where or when she is, but I try to keep looking.

Sedaka wrote:

circles and circles pacing round and round

You sound a bit agitated. Don't worry, Sedaka. You're just in a rut. You'll find love again (and again (and..)). You just have to be open to it.

calandale
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09 Aug 2007, 1:49 pm

MrMark wrote:

calandale wrote:

Vodka can help.

...and you would criticize others for giving bad advice...

No. I criticize the advice.
I criticize others for misusing
their power to drown out dissent.

And, I do contend that this, like
all my advice, has some merit.

calandale
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09 Aug 2007, 1:52 pm

Sedaka wrote:

i just dont know what to do with myself

Been there. Still am. And throwing oneself
into work worked for a while, but lost it's flavor.

If you're like me, you need to find people.
Not even for the romance - just for that
limited contact. Maybe the rest will just
follow.

jfberge
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09 Aug 2007, 2:35 pm

calandale wrote:

Been there. Still am. And throwing oneself
into work worked for a while, but lost it's flavor.
If you're like me, you need to find people.
Not even for the romance - just for that
limited contact. Maybe the rest will just
follow.

You're apparently leading my parallel life. I used to have friends and lovers, but they've died, moved away, or gotten different lives. I used to enjoy my job, but lately it feels like an inconsequential dead end.

I need a change.

calandale
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09 Aug 2007, 2:53 pm

jfberge wrote:

Surprised at how much you pulled of me,
out of that quote. Probably some of the other
stuff I've said, too.

But, as to change, I went back to school partially
for that reason - to meet more young people, and
reinvigorate the losses. It didn't work. I don't know
that change itself is enough. Some has to be internal.

Sedaka
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09 Aug 2007, 3:27 pm

calandale wrote:

MrMark wrote:

calandale wrote:

Vodka can help.

...and you would criticize others for giving bad advice...

No. I criticize the advice.
I criticize others for misusing
their power to drown out dissent.

And, I do contend that this, like
all my advice, has some merit.

and i would take it had i not so much work to do in the mornings

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Sedaka
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09 Aug 2007, 3:32 pm

calandale wrote:

Sedaka wrote:

i just dont know what to do with myself

i do need people... but my level of coping is just diff... it takes me years to forge even 1/2 way decent friendships

just as i made a few in highschool... i was gone

undergrad the same...

never really made any in grad school...

i need a good 4-5 yrs to make people's friend lists apparently.

and im about to start all over again

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Sedaka
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09 Aug 2007, 3:35 pm

Phasianoraptor_hirvisaloi wrote:

The pulses get slower in depression. That's my own discovery. I've been depressed enough to wish my heart to stop altogether.

like an engine sputtering on empty

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