MaxE wrote:
It's not a matter of being able to walk around wearing a t-shirt that says "I've had sex". It's more a matter of wanting the experience plus most of us have an innate, primal urge to do it. Ironically, having sex theoretically costs nothing (the small cost for contraception notwithstanding) whereas so many other supposedly worthwhile activities such as downhill skiing for example, can be quite costly.
The real issue is simply wanting the experience. This is where one encounters a lot of shaming along the lines of "nobody really needs sex so find a more worthwhile goal". I submit that it's worse on an autism site because of the high percentage of asexual, demisexual, or graysexual people who simply don't understand how somebody could desire sexual experience as an end in itself.
Well the other issue is that never having had sex can be blamed on a person lacking the social skills needed to obtain another person's cooperation in that matter, so never having had sex is seen as proof of that person's general inability to get by in the world.
This. The urge to have sex is hardwired into most people's brains by instinct and this is the common dominator that needs to be considered first and foremost. It just can't be switched off like a light bulb by telling people sex isn't a big deal or needs to be done correctly.
As a virgin becomes increasingly older, the chances of there being deep rooted problems causing their virginity increases and the shame and embarrassment also increases. Telling an older virgin that all is good causes them nothing but harm and invalidates (touchy word I know) what they're experiencing and the problems that lead to it.
As a broad rule of thumb that are my own personal assumptions. I consider something to be seriously amiss if an individual has passed the average age which their peers have kids and still hasn't lost their virginity. This is about 30 years of age. Problems become apparent about a decade before though.