Is this possible?

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Some Americans might remember the original Jake from State Farm ads. The original JFSF was a nerdy white guy working the graveyard shift at the State Farm call center. The ad shows a married man, in pajamas and bathrobe, standing in the living room at night talking on the phone. I don't recall what prompted him to call the insurance 800 number in the middle of the night, but his wife comes downstairs and immediately accuses him of cheating. She grabs the phone from him, and asks the person on the other end, "what are you wearing?", the response to which is "khakis". A good example of how easily women can be (supposedly) made to suspect their male partner of cheating (I'm not aware that this commercial got any serious blowback). I'm not defending this perception, just giving evidence that it's a real thing in our society.

BTW when discussing heterosexual relationships, a certain degree of generalization about gender roles is necessary or else the issues become impossible to concisely address. That any given generalization doesn't always apply is a truism that doesn't contribute much to the discussion however if the validity of a given generalization can be effectively called into question then yes that's a good thing, no argument there.

I don’t get it. ^

How do gender roles apply here?

She researched and found the deck repair person and she wanted to meet him during his visit for the estimate. If there’s a traditional gender role at play it’s that the OP “should have” (traditionally) done that himself. Is the gender problem related to his lack of traditional masculinity, then?

Well it's a reverse gender role situation. Given what should be considered a completely innocent situation, her boyfriend accused her of wanting to cheat. My point about generalizations was that typically, it's usually men that are accused of this because they were observed being "too friendly" with a woman or the like. Sorry if that's confusing.

^ It’s not a reverse gender role.

I’ve never heard that men are less likely to be suspicious and jealous of their partners than women are. It’s especially common in abusive relationships, but it can happen with others, too, no matter people’s gender.

In any case, supposed stereotypes aren’t relevant or helpful here, and they do not reflect some posters’ experience or, most likely, reality.

Thanks for clarifying. I agree gender's not relevant here.

If there's a stereotype of women accusing men more often, it's likely from archaic times when men went to work all day, or enjoyed frequent business trips, whilst their wives stayed home with their babies or making the family pot roast. I'm not suggesting those women didn't ever cheat for romance, or that the men necessarily did, but if there's a stereotype of women accusing men in the past my guess would be that's why.

I'll admit I experience jealousy sometimes but I know it's because of my own personal insecurities rather than the other person's intent. If I trusted them that little I wouldn't be with them. I've never accused anyone of cheating or ranted about their behaviour with other women because I know that would be a double standard. I'm online with my "guy friends" all the time with private PM correspondence, so it wouldn't be fair of me to freak out about "other women" if my partner shouldn't freak about "other men". Even when he did have a brief indiscretion I didn't suspect it or accuse him of anything. After he told me about it I was able to keep my shite together without assuming he had a character flaw, or that he'd do it again. That was possible because of really open communication, not because I went nuts or became overly possessive and judgmental like some people would.

I agree though - we are derailed. It's not about gender.

This reminds me. When my 2nd "real girlfriend" and I (aged 21 and 24 respectively) had been together a couple of months (by which I mean I spent every night with her at the apartment where she was living, since our first night together) she had told me she would be spending time at an event organized by the Society for Creative Anachronism and I told her I didn't expect to go there. Later on, I decided to go, and when I got there, she walked past me holding hands with some guy and with a blissful look on her face, in fact acting as though I weren't standing there at all.

That evening, when I next saw her, I asked her the guy's name and age (Warren and 28) and then said to her "please never do that in front of me again" and we never mentioned the incident ever again.