Why do women even bother going on nights out?

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A lot of women want to be hit on by men, but only appreciate being hit on by men that they find to be attractive.

Being hit on by men that women find to be unattractive is simply a necessary risk of putting oneself out there in environments where that kind of thing happens, as a woman.

As others have said in this thread, people cannot just not go anywhere due to fears of something unwanted happening.

Life is for living.

Usually, women don't go out because they want to be hit on. Most often, it's because they want to have a good time with their friends.

From my experience, people 'go out' or are 'out on the pull' and are two different experiences that dictate the night's behaviour.

Maybe it's my age and living in a small town but the local night club played upbeat music till the last hour? then played love songs which meant trying to get a dance partner for a smooch and a necking sesh - I doubt this is the case anymore I hasten to add that when the slow music came on I left the club.

Well, as a lesbian, I like to go on nights out for the fun of it. I know that being hit on comes with the territory. However, being hit on just comes with going outside. If I let that stop me, I'd never get to go anywhere.

I was hit on recently by a guy at a restaurant. It wasn't creepy or anything. However, admittedly I never know how to handle such situations. When you're dealing with people you don't know, you don't know how they are going to handle rejection. I hadn't planned for that social interaction, so I must admit that I just walked away. I know that's rude, but I had a whole bunch of questions spiralling around my head wondering how to act and I didn't want to lose sight of the person I came to the restaurant with (it was very busy).

I'm often pretty awkward when women hit on me unexpectedly as well. This happens less often. Usually though I'm just oblivious to the fact I was being hit on until after the fact. Typically I'm the first person to display interest (unfortunately I am very bad at this).

Then why do you seem to obsess about your lack of appeal to women and how badly they treat you?  Do you want them to 'hit' on you or not?

Women generally do like to just have some fun when they go out.  Same for men.

For men, 'fun' involves competing with other men -- who can drink the most and remain standing, who is better at pool or darts, who can take home the prettiest girl in the room, et cetera.

For women, 'fun' seems to involve not being so "prim and proper" as they might be at work -- an opportunity to relax a little and feel good about themselves without feeling threatened.  Maybe be a little louder and more boisterous than usual.

And then along comes some creep who can't stop staring, who butts in on conversations, and who has no respect for other people's personal spaces.  Then the night is ruined for everybody.

Don't be that creep.

I really don't get why people enjoy nights out in nightclubs. I have only once been to a nightclub as this girl took me to one. Was a Christian group called Delerious. Was too loud. Had to go out. We went back home. Not sure why she asked me. Think she wanted to bring a friend and could not find anyone but for me? She has not really been in touch since, though I was always polite to her and kind. Before that I took her on an outing to a large gardens in my old 1965 Volvo. Had to rush to get back quick as my Dad had gone off (Medication issues) so I was waiting the car sideways round roundabouts on the way back (They were rallycars) and looked and she was hiding in thef ootwell! Don't think whether been in a back wheel drive car going sideways before. So when she asked me to that club, she insisted her Dad drove us there. Not sure why. I thought my driving was ok.

Expecting women to limit their activities to avoid being sexually harassed is victim blaming.

You just like to bring down men for some reason. Maybe it's the way you have been brought up to respect women and treat men like dirt.

The music is way too loud in clubs/bars in any case. That kind of thing is enough to frighten away a lot of autistic people from going to such places.

Is that why people say they want quiet pubs? I don't go to pubs so is something I don't know much about.

Definitely your age.

I hate the end of the night when the music changes. It's such a buzz kill.

For the record, when I say I enjoy nights out, I mean venues that play soft indie or pop punk at a reasonable level. Typically with dimmed lighting. Although I do remember one act that had flashing red lights which were a bit much. I don't like places where the music is obnoxiously loud.

I've never been to a place that switched to slow romantic songs at the end. Typically either Mr Brightside starts playing or the event just abruptly ends in the venues I go to. There's a bit of joke that if Mr Brightside starts playing then you've stayed too long. It's a good song though imo.

You cannot refute the message so you attack the messenger.  Got it.

It IS sort of strange when posters mention that they were following women around in a club recently, making them uncomfortable, and then, a couple days later, suggest that women shouldn’t go out because of potential sexual harassment. It seems a bit like victim-blaming in my opinion.

I agree.  Hypocrisy, at the very least.